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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2009 8:56:01 GMT
Since i have been medicated i have noticed i am much less tolerant of friends' past behaviour towards me. Some to the extent that i don't want to see them anymore. It can be quite depressing realising how you have been strung along/ used by people. Now i feel i just don't want them in my life. At times i can feel quite antisocial.
My flatmate says he has never seen me so down as since i was medicated.
I think it is because i am now able to see people for who they really are, and it is disappointing.
(that and the moodswings).
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Post by haydreamer on Jun 22, 2009 9:23:28 GMT
sorry to hear this Pipkin, I totally understand your way of thinking - since being dx, (tried concerta but hated it- no longer on meds) it has turned my life upside down, like you starting to reavaluate who is important in your life and who is not. I have been used and taking advantage of many times in the past also and went along with those friends to stop being lonely, but the older I am, I realise I would rather have my three closest friends then have 'artifical' friendships , who don't truly love me for who I am, not what I can offer, ie, status, money, ect.
I'm waffling- give yourself credit for coming this far-and I know about the mood swings !!!!!
x
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2009 9:24:47 GMT
I know exactly what you mean realising people are fonys the same thing happened to me years ago. It wasn’t enlightenment from meds though just some very unpleasant village witch hunt type affair. Fortunately I had just started a new chapter in my life out of the village of idiots and met some really cool people some were a disappointment and got dropped. For me my first impression and intuition is always bang on and I don’t listen to hocuss pocuss of others. Who I might add don’t have my condition but sometimes are far worse at identifying scum bags than me. That said its not easy being perfect none of us are there’s nothing wrong with seeing people for what they are and just having a laugh with them just not committing to anything more than that. ;D
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Post by haydreamer on Jun 22, 2009 9:42:55 GMT
Just to add on the friendship front- hijacked this post-oops!! I told one of my old friends and their partner that I have adhd yesterday. My dad is a very proud man, and said its best if I keep it just in the family, he thought I was silly to tell them, that they would read too much into this...........
but I said why should I be ashamed of who I am, anyway my friend said to me she just thought my behaviour was 'special' when I used to stay around her old flat, whatever that means, I think eccentric!! Quirky!!
so when I told her I've had this all my life-she was gobsmacked, but so understanding, she was brilliant, now, the problem is I found explaining it to them really difficult, I waffled 100 miles an hour and found it hard to express myself, I will be sending her an article if it helps.
I apologised to her that I needed to change the topic, because I am passionate about talking about adhd at the moment, it's sad but this forum consumes much of my free time- I hope it is a phase, since being dx a month ago- my mind is on FULL ADHD OBSESSION, think it's very bad.
Having recently dumped my adhd specialist for being money grabbing *b*******'' I am no longer on meds- so, having experienced the serenity of Concerta to now being cruelly without meds- its very depressing, my job is boring, feel like I can't be bothered to do anything- not sure if I am depressed due to dx, or being rejected my pct twice for funding and specialist- anyway - waffle over -phew!!!
x
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2009 10:37:13 GMT
I hope you get to see someone on the NHS soon Haydreamer.
Safensound you are right about just accepting things. Sometimes it is hard to see things in anything other than black and white.
A
x
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Post by roland on Jun 22, 2009 10:38:53 GMT
Hi haydreamer, If you feel up to it, why don't you ring ICAS and file a formal complaint about your PCT. ICAS will do all the work for you, they've been great with me. BTW now that you've got your diagnosis, the PCT has a legal duty to provide you with care. It's called the Disability Equality Duty, and haydreamer, since you are impacted by your adhd symptoms, your PCT has no choice but to provide you with the care you need. So I strongly recommend that you ring ICAS and file a formal complaint along the lines that your PCT may potentially be in breach of the Disability Discrimination Act. That's what I've done with my PCT, and now we're all having a meeting on Wednesday and here's a quote from the agenda for the meeting: Since it's now officially on the agenda, this issue must be dealt with satisfactorily. If the PCT isn't prepared to satisfactorily address it at the meeting, I can then take my complaint to the Ombudsman and the Equality Commission which drastically increases the pain level for the PCT! www.dotheduty.org/files/Healthenglandandwales.pdfAnd now, I've just realised that I completed the hi-jacking of this thread many apologies guys!
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Post by haydreamer on Jun 22, 2009 10:47:04 GMT
Thanks Pipkin, optimism in my MP doing something is a positive thought at the moment.
Roland, I am waiting for my MP to get back to me, spoke to him at his consituency on June 12th 2009 also my Gp wrote to the chief executive of the Wiltshire PCT to say I have an official dx, I could carry on being productive, just regaining my strenght-all this fighting- makes me feel like I'm on a verge of a breakdown!!!!
BTW, that's some great advice- I have used your templates for the MP ect, very helpful, thanks
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jules
Member's posted somewhat
You can conquer almost any fear if you wish - fear doesn't exist anywhere except the mind
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Post by jules on Jun 22, 2009 12:17:49 GMT
Pipkin,
Your thread: Posted by pipkin on Today at 8:56am.
That is just how I was feeling about my friends - I think we're on the same meds anyway. Things get better - promise - you have us to help XX
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jules
Member's posted somewhat
You can conquer almost any fear if you wish - fear doesn't exist anywhere except the mind
Posts: 83
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Post by jules on Jun 22, 2009 12:21:56 GMT
Hiyarrrrrrrrrr Everyone,
Thank you all for sharing your stories - i'm very touched - You're all lovely and we are going to get better and feel good about ourselves X
Plant D will be checking my grammer now you watch - lol
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2009 15:39:49 GMT
Pipkin,
I think the process of re-evaluating friendships is something that happens naturally as you get older. I'm not on meds (yet) but in the last seven years i've been weeding the chaff out of my life, in the past i didn't have anything important in my life so i would just go along with whatever other people were doing, but i went to college, and then on to uni and having something major in my life made me realise how negative other people can be.
I saw that i needed people who would either support me, or at least not interfere with what i was doing, but among my circle of friends i had users and naysayers, so i got rid of them!
I don't feel guilty about it anymore, nasty people can always find someone else to use, but it is hard having a shrunken social circle, though i'm always optimistic that over time i can replace those people with more genuine friends, and for ADHDers and friendship quality is always going to be more important than quantity, how would we ever find time to keep up with loads of mates?
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Post by twix on Jun 22, 2009 16:53:07 GMT
I have found out who my real friends are through having had a difficult patch a while ago. The rest I can't be bothered with I suppose which is a shame but its real life.
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Post by haydreamer on Jun 22, 2009 17:35:04 GMT
i second that Jules, this forum is such a lovely place full of very friendly and receptive people- occcassionallly, I have winged, wined and waffled until dusk to dawn- and yet come here again and again and still accepted and taken seriously, thank God for this forum- it has helped keep most of what sanity I have left!!lol xx
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2009 22:56:23 GMT
wise words roland - for myself I have also come to realise in those rare detached moments that I will always be the sort of person with constantly changing groups of friends (at the more removed level). I am less sad now when I lose contact with people because from repeated experience I know there will be others. Apart from a very few constant & special companions I do not rely on anyone in particular, but more on a neverending supply of people in general (this might turn out to be hubris of course) although it usually takes a while to find the interesting ones. Sounds cynical but there is just no point fighting it -in my case that is.
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jules
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You can conquer almost any fear if you wish - fear doesn't exist anywhere except the mind
Posts: 83
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Post by jules on Jun 23, 2009 19:30:27 GMT
Roland - you can hi-jack the thread any time Called Dr Mason yesterday and spoke to Roz his secetary - they both should be signing the petition Jules
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2009 8:49:01 GMT
Jules we have the same doctor!
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Post by roland on Jun 24, 2009 10:50:14 GMT
Thanks Jules! And now I'm off to my local resolution meeting to get the situation with my meds cleared up--hopefully
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jules
Member's posted somewhat
You can conquer almost any fear if you wish - fear doesn't exist anywhere except the mind
Posts: 83
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Post by jules on Jun 25, 2009 23:28:12 GMT
Pipkin, Dr Mason is wonderful and does care and understand - thank god. I'm feeling low today so haven't got much to say. Jules
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Post by redneck on Jun 26, 2009 11:24:03 GMT
Hey Jules Im in that kind of mood today aswell RR
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2009 13:33:40 GMT
Do you know of any groups in Devon anyone??
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