Nearly a year since diagnosis.
For me...
Benefits:
I have a partial explanation for a lot of what has gone wrong with my life.
As a result I hate myself a litttle less and instead hate the ADHD.
I can better find and target strategies to help. Although I haven’t really made much progress here
Nonetheless even a 5% improvement is funking brilliant!
I’ve has access to meds which is maybe another 5% improvement to some aspects of the ADHD. Although there are some negative side effects too.
I’ve had access to NHS CBT which is mostly not working much but still maybe another 1% improvement.
I’ve been able to get (and give) support from other folks with ADHD - another few percent better.
All these small improvements have made me more optimistic.
I can often spot it in others, and as a result I’m more forgiving when other people are not functioning well.
Actually I’m generally more tolerant of other people now.
People around me who I’ve chosen to tell can better understand and forgive/ tolerate me. Mostly (since not everyone subscribes to modern psychiatric paradigms)
There may be more.
On the down side:
I feel less optimistic, despite what I said above, since this is a lifelong developmental disorder.
ADHD can be an excuse...
I constantly question the diagnosis.
It’s hard to undo a diagnosis/ label.
There are negative side effects to the meds.
‘My’ ADHD is defined by other people (psychiatrists) and in my opinion a lot of the theory is incorrect - although it’s early days.
ADHD is a highly pejorative label - “deficit” AND “disorder”. Of course it’s a bummer but maybe that’s only because I’m trying to fit into a fucked up society/ system? Or a system that just doesn’t fit me but I’d very hard to change or opt out of.
I’d like to fine-tune and experiment with my meds, but the NHS has no money for that and in any case I (we) can’t possibly be trusted to know what we are doing or to be responsible enough to not abuse them (Grrrrrrr!). Some fine tuning may be available privately but like many folks with ADHD I’m skint.
There may be more...
On balance I’m very glad I have the diagnosis!