hope
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Post by hope on Sept 2, 2019 10:21:38 GMT
I wonder if anyone can offer advice or has been in a similar situation. I think my 22 year old has ADHD & although we have discussed this in the past he wouldn’t go through with an assessment. I have suspected he has ADHD for years and feel terrible about letting him down, by not pursuing an assessment when he was younger. There are many reasons we did not seek help for him but that’s another story and a decision I deeply regret. I need to encourage him to think about ADHD and the way this is seems to be impacting his life, the difference a diagnosis and possible treatment plan could make. Does anyone have any advice on how to encourage him to go for an assessment? Thanks in advance for any advice.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2019 23:42:06 GMT
It's very difficult to give advice on this.
Receiving a diagnosis is a bit like being given a pair of roller blades.
If you've always been irritated by your lack of progress, the roller blades can be awesome. People in this frame of mind are typically ready to pay whatever the price is for this new found mobility.
Conversely, if you strap roller blades to the feet of someone who is not ready to be the best version of themselves, they are likely to resent every aspect of the process and hold you responsible for any injury.
With that in mind, my strategy has been to gradually unveil my diagnosis to my daughter along with my difficulties and how they've been remedied. She's seen me at my best and she's also seen me seething and inflamed in situations that others would probably not react to.
I never tell her she has ADHD. I just try to illuminate the condition, in a safe way, so she can make her own mind up.
If you feel like you're running out of time, the quickest way forward may be:
1. Get him to acknowledge his difficulties in terms of impulsivity, hyperactivity/hypersensitivity and inattention. 2. Ask his permission to try and help him (skip this step at your peril). 3. Attend at least one ADHD group meeting so he can test the water (are these my people?). 4. Book a private consultation with a recognised ADHD specialist.
Best of luck!
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k15kus
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Post by k15kus on Jul 11, 2020 22:32:23 GMT
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jim
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Post by jim on Nov 16, 2020 16:00:04 GMT
We arrived at ADHD by a different route - 19 year old Granddaughter at University being checked for dyslexia and the psychologist diagnosed ADHD and ADD. The diagnosis has now been confirmed by a psychiatrist. Getting help since then has been a struggle but that's another story.
What I can say is that the actual process for diagnosis might be quite a wait, but is so painless, a simple tick box exercise and an hour/hour and a half conversation with someone specialising in ADHD. The person isn't being tested, judged or on trial and my granddaughter not only felt comfortable, but enjoyed a conversation with someone who knew what she was going through and could give her the comfort that help is available.
She knows now that her forgetfulness, disorganisation, poor memory and inability to sit still and concentrate (amongst other things), isn't down to her stupidity or any weakness, but down to a recognised condition which can be treated.
Treatment hasn't yet started, but already there have been a massive positive change for her. She has read up on the subject, she is trialling some of self help tools that are available (some work for her and others not so much) but she has a renewed confidence and hope.
Other help at Uni has already kicked in, with extra time for assignments and exams, extra tuition time and access to an established support system.
In addition there is also extra help available through student finance to pay for support that would be helpful.
I can understand a 22 year old son being reluctant to accept what they might perceive as some sort of weakness (which it most certainly isn't!!!), but from personal experience I can point to the benefits of being tested and diagnosed.
I hope recounting my personal recent experience to him will help him decide that he's nothing to lose in getting tested, but potentially everything to gain (even if its just to stop his mum nagging him!)
Please don't beat yourself up about letting him down when he was younger, I felt the same way (and still do I suppose), but until the diagnosis I had little knowledge of ADHD and I can only now relate it to what happened in her childhood.
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Post by Diamond on Nov 20, 2020 20:14:33 GMT
I have a 6 year old grandson and for the last four years been trying to get diagnosed but due to school saying thay don’t see any thing has made it harder but I volunteered in school and noticed he was doing in it in school where he is not constertrating or miss behaven at times, but school say he is a saint which makes it harder but as soon he comes out of school he is out of control where he does not notice dangerous situation or even hang of barters when up. He had therapy fir just over a year but no improvement and he was a bit violent and run out of room from therapist but his aggressive behaviour violent out burst not keeping still and acts like a stropy teenager if he Carnt have what he wants don’t like no does not stop talking etc now because of his age he is being seen by another department and because of pandemic it’s taken longer fir the first appointment I feel I’m hitting my head on the brick wall don’t know where to turned to can some one advice what I can do in the mean time or where I can go to get the help I’ve had family support worker for twelve weeks done the parenting course put boundary’s in place done charts done a reward chart but now I’m at my wits end any advice would be so welcome nd many thanks in advance
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