Post by Livzi on Nov 3, 2020 12:54:50 GMT
Thank you in advance for everyone who reads this and may offer a solution...
So some background info/symptoms:
I thought I may have it after people kept on joking about it and I did a screening questionnaire. I scored quite highly on the majority of symptoms in the inattentive section. I did some more reading (during a vortex/rabbit hole research session - probably lost a few hours ...) and here are the key points which make me struggle in life
- I have trouble getting started doing anything - cleaning, studying, anything that slightly demands extended attention. I can procrastinate for literally hours before I start anything.
- Once I start projects, I never finish them unless I'm fueled by the stress of deadlines. In university, I always hand in my essays on the minute it's due. It stresses everyone out and I know I haven't given myself enough time to do my best. But every-time I swear I'll start earlier or be more organised and it just never happens? I make silly mistakes in my essays, and I rely on my boyfrient to proof read things?
- I'm extremely distracted by any auditory sounds - If I'm trying to study I find it really hard to zone out sounds. If I'm in a social situation, I pause to think about my answers or struggle to form my opinions. My head HURTS after a couple of hours of trying to filter out sounds from my surroundings. It's so mentally draining
- Hence, I use earplugs for everything. Studying, sleeping etc.
- For lectures at university, I bunk the whole lot because I know I can't concentrate. My friends have to give me their notes because 1. I can't finish them (again, incomplete projects), or there will be gaps where I zoned out (which is like 70% of all lectures) :L At the end of the year I cram and pass the exams, due to the pressure (I'm still not focusing very well, but its enough ti get the info in and pass)
- My auditory processing is extremely poor compared to visual aspects - this, along with not being able to sit down and study properly, means I cram at the end of the year (and pass my exams this way).
- Sometimes I literally don't understand where my time goes. I can spend a whole day vortexing on some topic, or playing a video game for a day. I'll forget to eat all day and just stay in that rabbit hole
- The simplest tasks, like eating or cooking or whatever or cleaning, becomes 4 hour tasks because people may chat to me and I forget what I'm doing
- I can never stick to time schedules, and always underestimate the time it takes for everything. So either I don't complete what I set up to do, or I'm horrendously late for everything
- I lose everything. When I was a kid my mum used to tie my keys to my bag so I wouldn't lose it. As an adult I still leave keys in doors, bank cards on buses, lose my phone, I even turned up to school without my skirt once ...
The thing is, I went to an SpLD/ADHD assessment and the psychologist concluded I don't have adhd, just 'distractibility' whatever that means. He basically praised my 'smartness' and vocabulary etc the whole time, and said maybe my distractibility comes from the fact that I used auditory processes to learn language (I'm an immigrant). I made some silly arithmetic mistakes and some mistakes on the visual tasks, (things I knew how to do), but he would ask me if I was sure and I'd reevaluate/ get to the right answer...
But like, surely life isn't meant to be this hard. Even the simplest tasks take me aaaages, and I fail to sit down and work, and whole days drain away. All my friends end up joking that 'imagine what you'd do if you could actually concentrate!' which is fun to them but so distressful to me. It seems like I try really hard to do things but they never come into fruition? And I feel really dismissed by the psychologist because it seemed like I can't have ADD and high IQ?
I feel like I'm at the end of the road here, because I don't know how to help myself anymore :L
Should I get a second opinion? What should I even do...?
Thanks everyone...
So some background info/symptoms:
I thought I may have it after people kept on joking about it and I did a screening questionnaire. I scored quite highly on the majority of symptoms in the inattentive section. I did some more reading (during a vortex/rabbit hole research session - probably lost a few hours ...) and here are the key points which make me struggle in life
- I have trouble getting started doing anything - cleaning, studying, anything that slightly demands extended attention. I can procrastinate for literally hours before I start anything.
- Once I start projects, I never finish them unless I'm fueled by the stress of deadlines. In university, I always hand in my essays on the minute it's due. It stresses everyone out and I know I haven't given myself enough time to do my best. But every-time I swear I'll start earlier or be more organised and it just never happens? I make silly mistakes in my essays, and I rely on my boyfrient to proof read things?
- I'm extremely distracted by any auditory sounds - If I'm trying to study I find it really hard to zone out sounds. If I'm in a social situation, I pause to think about my answers or struggle to form my opinions. My head HURTS after a couple of hours of trying to filter out sounds from my surroundings. It's so mentally draining
- Hence, I use earplugs for everything. Studying, sleeping etc.
- For lectures at university, I bunk the whole lot because I know I can't concentrate. My friends have to give me their notes because 1. I can't finish them (again, incomplete projects), or there will be gaps where I zoned out (which is like 70% of all lectures) :L At the end of the year I cram and pass the exams, due to the pressure (I'm still not focusing very well, but its enough ti get the info in and pass)
- My auditory processing is extremely poor compared to visual aspects - this, along with not being able to sit down and study properly, means I cram at the end of the year (and pass my exams this way).
- Sometimes I literally don't understand where my time goes. I can spend a whole day vortexing on some topic, or playing a video game for a day. I'll forget to eat all day and just stay in that rabbit hole
- The simplest tasks, like eating or cooking or whatever or cleaning, becomes 4 hour tasks because people may chat to me and I forget what I'm doing
- I can never stick to time schedules, and always underestimate the time it takes for everything. So either I don't complete what I set up to do, or I'm horrendously late for everything
- I lose everything. When I was a kid my mum used to tie my keys to my bag so I wouldn't lose it. As an adult I still leave keys in doors, bank cards on buses, lose my phone, I even turned up to school without my skirt once ...
The thing is, I went to an SpLD/ADHD assessment and the psychologist concluded I don't have adhd, just 'distractibility' whatever that means. He basically praised my 'smartness' and vocabulary etc the whole time, and said maybe my distractibility comes from the fact that I used auditory processes to learn language (I'm an immigrant). I made some silly arithmetic mistakes and some mistakes on the visual tasks, (things I knew how to do), but he would ask me if I was sure and I'd reevaluate/ get to the right answer...
But like, surely life isn't meant to be this hard. Even the simplest tasks take me aaaages, and I fail to sit down and work, and whole days drain away. All my friends end up joking that 'imagine what you'd do if you could actually concentrate!' which is fun to them but so distressful to me. It seems like I try really hard to do things but they never come into fruition? And I feel really dismissed by the psychologist because it seemed like I can't have ADD and high IQ?
I feel like I'm at the end of the road here, because I don't know how to help myself anymore :L
Should I get a second opinion? What should I even do...?
Thanks everyone...