Post by rabbitdances on Dec 1, 2020 4:15:44 GMT
Hi guys, I was just diagnosed a couple months ago with ADHD and I'm 49. I was diagnosed with the questionnaire from my doctor, then we had phone appointments, and finally an in-person appointment where he said that he had no doubt that I had it. I'm being medicated for anxiety, but not for ADHD yet. I'm concerned because I've read that ADHD meds can make you quite mean and I am a single mom with little kids. Anybody have experience with meds for both anxiety and ADHD, and know how they combine?
Also, I'm trying to figure out ways I have good executive function so I can try to expand it to other things in my life. One way is that I'm an editor. In order to do that, I have to take someone's really disorganized manuscript and do both a macro and a micro organization.
So why do I struggle with that type of organization in real life? Can a person with AdHD have hyperfocus for one thing in a way that helps him/her organize it, and not just focus on it? Has anybody tried getting that organization to work for other things in life?
Right now, I'm learning to separate "life happening all at once" by doing things ahead of time. I also use the checklist system in Outlook and that gives me tasks that "bing" when I complete them. Not that I do well with this all the time, but the more I can automate, the better.
My worst fear, though, is that I'm now going to be more of a burden on a potential partner than any good I could bring him, and also (worst of all) that I'm going to be a burden to my children someday. I get that my needing some support will teach them to be more compassionate to people in the future, but I hate that they might think that being around a self-centered person who interrupts them is "normal," and that they will each choose partners like this. I am trying so hard, but I worry that it's not good enough. I'm an American expat and all my family is in the States. However, by the time my kids are grown, my mother will likely be dead and there isn't any other reason to go back. Plus I love it here in the UK. I just want to live and contribute to society, and not be a burden.
Anybody else worked through these feelings? I'm really grieving about this. On the good side, I have music hyper-focus--I am a music teacher (editing is my side hustle) and I have always been able to practice for hours. Music is a tangible thing for me. It might even be that I hear and enjoy music in a more complete way than most people because of my ability to hear the intricacies of it.
In some ways, I would take all the rest of this just for the joy I get from being able to focus on music. My degree is in cello and I teach that and piano, but I've been studying accordion and am going into international competition next year. It really is a dream come true.
Any thoughts?
Also, I'm trying to figure out ways I have good executive function so I can try to expand it to other things in my life. One way is that I'm an editor. In order to do that, I have to take someone's really disorganized manuscript and do both a macro and a micro organization.
So why do I struggle with that type of organization in real life? Can a person with AdHD have hyperfocus for one thing in a way that helps him/her organize it, and not just focus on it? Has anybody tried getting that organization to work for other things in life?
Right now, I'm learning to separate "life happening all at once" by doing things ahead of time. I also use the checklist system in Outlook and that gives me tasks that "bing" when I complete them. Not that I do well with this all the time, but the more I can automate, the better.
My worst fear, though, is that I'm now going to be more of a burden on a potential partner than any good I could bring him, and also (worst of all) that I'm going to be a burden to my children someday. I get that my needing some support will teach them to be more compassionate to people in the future, but I hate that they might think that being around a self-centered person who interrupts them is "normal," and that they will each choose partners like this. I am trying so hard, but I worry that it's not good enough. I'm an American expat and all my family is in the States. However, by the time my kids are grown, my mother will likely be dead and there isn't any other reason to go back. Plus I love it here in the UK. I just want to live and contribute to society, and not be a burden.
Anybody else worked through these feelings? I'm really grieving about this. On the good side, I have music hyper-focus--I am a music teacher (editing is my side hustle) and I have always been able to practice for hours. Music is a tangible thing for me. It might even be that I hear and enjoy music in a more complete way than most people because of my ability to hear the intricacies of it.
In some ways, I would take all the rest of this just for the joy I get from being able to focus on music. My degree is in cello and I teach that and piano, but I've been studying accordion and am going into international competition next year. It really is a dream come true.
Any thoughts?