lostinspace
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Posts: 36
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Post by lostinspace on Sept 21, 2022 19:57:58 GMT
I'm bad with cards, procrastination leads to last minute panic and late delivery. New dilemma. My niece b and nephew did very well in their exams, one is going to university. I have the cards but forgot to send off. So I've had moved to his university and the other is back in school starting the next set of courses. The one still m at school I forgot birthday present. I usually sort out e gift card. I forgot to check which shop to use. Then forgot to send cash when too late for that.
Do I still send the cards for the exams and put birthday money in for one or forget about it? My partner threatened me that she'll do it if I don't which will be worse. It's a month after exams and longer after birthday. I'm bad, very bad but what is worse? What should I do?
Background, I'm not diagnosed and my family don't know I'm trying to get diagnosed or even that I think I have adhd. My partner and gp are the only ones. I have a lot of time coping and masking except they know I'm bad with cards and birthdays.
This is stressing me out. Not least the threat from partner. She's worried that if I don't do it my sister will not give our son a pressie. He's 6 or 8 years younger and that will possibly upset him. He'll only miss the money or gift, for 5 minutes then move on and forget about it. He's more like me in that way.
Any advice, suggestions or kick up the behind? Anyone else as bad as me?
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Post by jessielouboo on Oct 10, 2022 8:46:17 GMT
Yes! I'm awful at cards and presents - and keeping in touch with friends and family in general! Luckily quite a few people in my family have the same issues so we cut each other a lot of slack. When I do get my sh!t together and give a gift, the gifts I give are either incredibly thoughtful and have taken me weeks to pull together, or are very last minute purchases!
The things that have helped me a bit are: - planning to see that person on or near their birthday. I'll usually pick up a card and present on the way to see them. It's never the most thoughtful gift but at least there is one! (I once got my mum a travel pillow from a service station) - relying on my partner to sort everything out - buying cards and gifts through websites like funkypidgeon as they will send an email to remind you the following year when the birthday is coming up again
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lostnomad
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Posts: 5
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Post by lostnomad on Jan 2, 2023 16:05:17 GMT
I have this problem too. I have everyone’s bday’s & anniversary’s in my phone now but sometimes it’s worse because I procrastinate so it’s totally inconsistent. One year they’ll get something, next year not. They take it as a slight & can’t understand why it would be the case unless I was trying to prove some point or I was angry at them
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Post by Rossall on Jan 2, 2023 17:23:05 GMT
If you get your cards from Moonpig they can send you an email reminder a few days before the birthday.
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Post by cautionarytale on Jan 7, 2023 11:23:40 GMT
I am as bad as you, nothing works, so I just get extra presents at christmas and tell people that's their birthday present as well. I started doing that 15 years ago when I remembered the birthday of one of my friend's children, but not the other, and I felt awful because she (the child) was upset. From that point on, even my own nephew just gets two lots of presents at christmas! Just get several presents or cards and label them for what even they were for, and just send them all at Christmas. Berating you for forgetting won't do a thing. (I set reminders in my calendar too, but more often than not, I forget the second after I see it, so it rarely works.)
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