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Post by redneck on Sept 4, 2009 18:05:25 GMT
Does anybody else feel they are ignored? Do people just give you a patronising smile and continue with their previous conversation after you speak?
Or is it just me?
Red
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Post by boo on Sept 4, 2009 19:16:21 GMT
............... so anyway, as i was saying...............................
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2009 19:17:23 GMT
ye what we saying boo
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2009 19:21:26 GMT
Somtimes red ye i do specially when round people with ADHD i find it funny when two motor mouths clash and cant stand each other as they like the sound of there own voice and i can also be like that sometimes.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2009 22:02:13 GMT
Hell mend them if they try that with me, im one of the least ignorable people ever ;D
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Post by andy12345 on Sept 5, 2009 2:31:41 GMT
I do find the ignorance issues sometimes. It certainly does not make me happy but sometimes I have to ignore myself, so what chance do they have?
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Post by haydreamer on Sept 5, 2009 10:54:43 GMT
I am highly sensitive anyway, so, i read into things that more than likely aren't there!! anyone else very sensitive,? i am to criticism too!! I react sometimes too quickly without really taking in what another says
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Post by boo on Sept 5, 2009 11:12:47 GMT
haydreamer, yes, yes, yes and ummmmmmm, yes
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2009 11:25:46 GMT
Im going to second what boo says haydreamer. Yes, yes and yes. Shit aint it.
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Post by andy12345 on Sept 5, 2009 11:48:23 GMT
Does this sound familiar? A conversation starts with comfort zone friend(s) who you have known a while and feel that they understand you. Now, you listen.......then you talk.....they receive your comments and you all continue to chat even though some of your points may have been debated with your friend(s) and even though they know, you can blather a bit, they understand. you feel good, well perhaps you just don't feel any different or fluctuating mood during that conversation. Then, you get home, and your pratt of a parent of relative/partner says "why don't you pull yourself together and tidy up your desk/garage/garden whatever"? in an off-the-cuff way, no pre-amble just feet first and they should know better. So, by now, without meds, and within what, say, 1 tenth of a second you are already crunching in your brain, several conversation threads/comments at once. A multitude of comments are ready to erupt and you feel that overwhelming torture of lack of self-control and a temporary rising rage. You feel perhaps a bit drained or you want to sit down, lie down (depending on how well you absorb/or deflect the comment), leave, attack, if you have a really short fuse, as they say. Hypersensitive, a "victim of the moment" a "castle under siege" a "cpu under 100% usage with no time to calculate a rational comment as it's full of overcalculation" it may take you a few minutes or hours to notice that you have in fact calmed down and have been restored to your former persona. During the irrational phase, you may think you are doing things that make sense, but after you may realise that your responses may have been quite powerful. That's what I am like and if you turn up the insult/offensiveness, my response and subsequent recovering time becomes far more hostile and longer respectively. It is interesting to note that I seem to have about 80% of the symptoms of Borderline personality disorder (without a typical triggering cause) but I don't think I truly have that, fortunately.......phew and I consider that it may be adhd, an estradiol excess issue or an unknown. Whilst there are things to rule out, it is NOT over!!!!!! I will fight them in the hospitals, I will fight the in the practice and I will........blah blah whatever... heheheh
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Post by haydreamer on Sept 5, 2009 12:25:31 GMT
Andy!! so much of what you have said hits the nail on the head-................
Yes, I am the same, go to my friends houses and am having a great chat, report, feel like I am being understood blah blah and the mood/atmosphere is on an even keel, then I walk in the door at home, and my family member says
''how did you get on'', fine, really enjoyed it!!
then whoosh!!, a negative, ''
by the way, you left such and such ina mess, do you do it on purpose!!', eh no, I don't conciously do stupid things for the fun of it!!
Anyway, my mood swings up and down because most of the time of other people's insensitive criticisms, depending on my mood, I can control myself, or walk away -
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Post by laura on Sept 5, 2009 18:28:17 GMT
im going to third that what twix and boo said to haydreamer ;D
and andy that does sound familiar, im so defensive even when its not needed, but especially when someone critises me about things i find difficult anyway, but the slightest thing and im off.
my mum calls me jekyl and hyde ;D
i find im always saying, 'do you think i want to be like this? do you think i dont want to be able to do the things you find so easy?'
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Post by boo on Sept 5, 2009 19:56:37 GMT
we have 3 jekyll and hydes living here
and 1 poor sod that puts up with it all.
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Post by andy12345 on Sept 5, 2009 21:32:33 GMT
I am glad that my post was well-received and struck tones with you. Now, we have to deal with it.....
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2009 12:27:32 GMT
On a similar note i have noticed how self centred i can be through looking at my posts on here like someone will reply to my comment giving loads of info and i will just say o ye and go on about self need to sort it out.
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Post by andy12345 on Sept 6, 2009 14:48:19 GMT
Hehe, Safensound, I noticed that I do that myself, quite a bit in fact, but I try to have a point to make first. I would say think of it as an example instead of poor me, get the violin symphony orchestra ready etc.....
I mean safensound, this is one of the few areas that you can express yourself without feeling segregated, so I think it's only natural to use it.
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Post by andy12345 on Sept 6, 2009 14:50:11 GMT
LOL, but there is no doubt that this is also a form of procrastination as it is easier to type than to try and really consistently push myself to get my blood tests done asap, as I have had the form for nearly 2 weeks now but was planning to write some "blood investigations" of my choosing onto the form, so it's a bit of a contradicting my doctor issue, which I don't want to do until I can drop 10 pages of evidence onto his desk as to why I wrote extra tests on.
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Post by laura on Sept 6, 2009 15:24:40 GMT
Hehe, Safensound, I noticed that I do that myself, quite a bit in fact, but I try to have a point to make first. I would say think of it as an example instead of poor me, get the violin symphony orchestra ready etc..... I mean safensound, this is one of the few areas that you can express yourself without feeling segregated, so I think it's only natural to use it. i do it all the time too, i think we all do but its ok because as you say andy this is one of the only few areas we can express ourselves without people judgeing you. its great would have gone insane without you all! ;D
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Post by haydreamer on Sept 6, 2009 17:21:34 GMT
safe sound, adhd makes us need reassurance, not selfishness, we come here to let off steam and to talk through our worries to others that won't judge, don't worry, i feel like that, in my many earlier posts before getting my dx, I felt like a right pain in the ass, ranting and moaning and talking about my favourite suject 'me, me, me!!'' that's how it felt!! I second Laura !! I had some very stressful times and dark days, yet some lovely people on the forum always gave their precious time to answer my post with support and encouragement, I owe alot to this forum, it keptme going when I felt lonely, depressed and very misunderstood by famiy and some friends. xx
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Post by andy12345 on Sept 6, 2009 18:47:19 GMT
We're just one big Haddy family. What would we do without the internet? Would we have been more driven to be social? I suppose some people will never even make it to this site or the other ones..... and will just fade away, like the eroding coastlines, slowly but surely. ARgh, at least there is much more hope for the rest now. It's still a real pain in the ass, hanging onto life in this way. It feels like trying to climb a mountain with failing tools that just aren't good quality and take longer to dig in etc. Still, I MUST remember not to listen to myself too much as everything I write or say now, will become less impacting in the future, (I hope) Zip those silent lips andy!!!!!! Haydreamer, when did you first get medicated, out of interest?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2009 19:54:37 GMT
One reason is the memory thing you can empathise as reading but then remembering a load of opinions overloads my memory. I think its good though to start noticing these things to try be more normall as it were. Like i try not to put my foot in it on here alot more i think it may be because typing takes longer it makes me think more and then i get chance to review before send and then can amend/modify. Also i relise people can mis interprate things and also be thin skinned like me. I think long term it will/is changing my social skills for the better, like i know some one whos just crashed their speed boat in the past i would have taken the piss out of them for it but now i have kept stumb, and they havent mentioned it so they must be f'd off about the crash so i am becoming more aware.
I think one reason we may do this we like attention but being devils advocate how boring is it talking to people who just go on about themselves so i do try and look at other peoples views. I supose what am getting at is apart from this sight being a great out let for a bunch of people who realy need it there are some real hidden benefits.
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Post by andy12345 on Sept 6, 2009 21:42:47 GMT
During my, now infamous, petrol station career, due to my strange tolerance and ability to tell customers to stop chewing my ear, I was unfortunate enough to listen to some people who probably had severe adhd and I think one had aspergers to a degree. The severe adhd one, fortunately, was not too often but the aspergers one was every night and for the best part of 3 shifts per week, for about 1-1.5 hours for about 2 years he would just blather, repeating himself and needing a confirmation that he had been heard.
EVeryone agreed that he was harmless but not verbally.
I don't reject people if they want to talk. I can listen for ages, but I have my limits and if they talk about vanity/materialism too much I will usb click duh-ding disconnect on them as it means less-than-nothing to me.
For those 2 years, I entered a sort of submissive state where I just let him blather on and on about the same old crap. He gave me lifts home etc.
EDIT Now, when I quit my job at the station, bang I knew no more of that..........yay!
Hence, my hot/cold adhd/borderline like switch, is not a good thing to have.
In that "real world" thingy outside of my room, people that I have spoken to about some issues (not adhd in particular) have thought it was due to attention seeking perhaps or violin sympathy concerto. However, it's just matter of fact, end of story.
I always try and get multiple opinions about every topic. What's the point otherwise of a online "community"
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2009 21:58:52 GMT
At the end of the day attention seeking its hardly the worst trait in the world sociable no?
Andy wrote: "Now, as soon as I left the station, bang I knew no more of that..........yay!"
Know that feeling couldnt wait to finish work i actually left 2 days early one because i was a day ahead of reality and thought it was thursday not wednesday and another day ahead as i thought some one was bound to test me on my last day as we all got laid off and i thought for a days pay id rather not risk being done for asault. bigest bunch of bitches ever on a site full of blokes.
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Post by haydreamer on Sept 6, 2009 22:10:35 GMT
Safe, ure post made me smile, not because it is funny but the direct way you said the opinions on here overload your memory,........... I so understand that, you want to read everything members say and make a sensible accurate reply, properly, thoughout, without coming across as offensive or insulting, and as an over sensitive human myself, I know I can take things people say in the wrong way or haven't listened properly and got the topic confused and go off on a tangent, as I write this post now, I am thinking to myself, is this too long? am I making sense and will as usual just hope that my impulsiveness as I write my ramblings will be of some help:)!! The modify button is my favourite button, got habits of forgetting to add relevant coments in or say something i think is weird and take it out!!!!!!! Also i AM SPEAKING FOR MYSELF HERE!! we may feel that we are talking about ourselves, because in the ''real'' no-add world, we often have low self-esteem and have no voice or are not assertive enough to be ourselves. I know in an earlier post, I said that I felt like a chameloeon, adapting to others ways and blending into the environment- I sometimes struggle with my identity, as I need to learn to embrace both my strenghts and weaknesses and my add in a more positive and less defensive light. Andy, to answer your question: I was dx in April 2009, privately, after the local physchaitrist admitted he had no knowledge of add- so, I tried CONCERTA FIRST EVER ADHD MED) for 2 weeks, and hated it!!, stopped it and could not afford the private appointments, but now, after 1 year of fighting my PCT, I have funding for the Bristol clinic, in November, where I will start to experiement with meds, I hope on the NHS. P.S just pressed MODIFY!! TYPICAL! I think chatting here on this forum is great for adders to reach out, but it can also segragate and I know I do need to make a lot more effort to go out with friends then I should, I am guily of that- I agree with andy- what about the poor lost souls who have not found this site or not even know a. what adhd is? b. where do they find their support? we are lucky ones - maybe partly with personality or could be awareness, but a vital network none the less!!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2009 0:42:05 GMT
this is the only forum i've ever been a member of, but i love it!!!
i wish i could write the full story, of how my life went tits-up, and how chatting to you guys saved my bacon!... unfortunately it would take too long, and you'd all be asleep by the end of it!...
so i wont ;D
i'll just say, that since i joined in february the people on here have been the best! ;D
-awkward adhd hugs all round!
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Post by boo on Sept 7, 2009 8:51:37 GMT
Know what guys, I was dx last june. I have had 1-2-1 counselling and have attended a couple of ADHD workshops. And I can honestly say, hand on heart that I have made more personal progress in the past 4 months since joining this forum, than I even came close to in the entire year before that, in fact I think until I joined here I was going backwards more than forwards. I am having possibly my last 1-2-1 on Friday or maybe the penultimate, either way, I am going to be so happy to go in and finally say that I have made progress and I need to say I have been really hesitant to post this, because it lets down the façade a bit, the joking and the avoidance, the uncomfortable feeling of ‘what a tit’, did I really say THAT. But its heartfelt and I wanted to share, even if I do feel like a complete soppy arse now (and may just have to run away and hide)
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Post by twix on Sept 7, 2009 9:23:46 GMT
It good here innit.
;D hugs all round (except those that don't like hugs)
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Post by haydreamer on Sept 7, 2009 9:23:58 GMT
big virtual hugs peeps!! x- unless your not into hugs! ;D
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Post by laura on Sept 7, 2009 9:49:38 GMT
your post was great boo ;D i know what you mean about letting down the facade tho, i like everyone to think im fine which used to involve just being quiet and smiling alot.
since ive found this forum and ad/hd i cant stop talking and talking and talking.... about everything and anything to everyone not just familiy and friends. which has made some people think ive changed and dont like who i am now. but im just the same as i have always been with family and close friends but with alot less anxiety and feel alot happier.
just knowing im not a lost soul in this big world has made such a difference.
i finally feel like im beggining to like who i acually am rather than continually trying to change myself. ive got a long way to go, but im feeling optimistic at the moment.
big virtual hug to everyone ;D
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Post by haydreamer on Sept 7, 2009 11:39:22 GMT
Glad about your progress Boo, that's good that u feel happy:) laura, nice that you like who u are, i sometimes struggle with my identity, but being dx has helped me to acept myself- not always easy, but learning to see things in big picture
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