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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2009 10:26:53 GMT
I haven't bin diagnosed with ADHD but have been put on ritalin, the spche involved told me he'd put my request to be assessed to his bored but he sounded doubtful as to whether they wud agree, meanwhile although the meds help, my whole life is falling apart! My sons ex girlfriend had a beautiful baby, but social services determined contact wiv us wud be a 'risk' and have made it impossible to see her, meanwhile she was admitted to hospital and is blind in one eye, diabetic and epaleptic, her mother has turned psycho and had my son arrested in the middle of the night for affray, claiming he'd held a knife to her throat, he was finally released 15 hours later as her story fell apart, with no charges rought against him, now shes decided because of the childs many illnesses shes putting the baby into care, despite her parents wishinng otherwise, to be honest its the better optionn for the little mite. But I am desolate, I feel so low, I've gotten out of routine and things r a mess again, i have neither the inclination or the energy to sort out the housework or do anything. I need to know, can I demand a referal, my doctor refered me for an ADHD assessment, yet all i got was a spychiatriatric outpatient department ad this psyche says so little is known about it its highly unlikely I will get an assessment, that is "team" will not likely agree to it and I shud jus stick to the meds as they help and get councilling, what can i hold over him concerning getting a assessment at least, they keep going on about my stroke aged 15, but like i said to them i was presenting symptoms of ADHD aged 4 and the criteria states if its before 7 then i fit the criteria, i feel like im not being heard and its adding to my already stressful life, i told him, i don't know how these things r supposed to help me but i still feel out of control of my life, i don't KNOW how these tablets are supposed to make me feel, i dont know how treatment will help, let alone wat treatment i need, i dont know wat normal is how do i know wen i start to feel it? the spyche jus laughs and makes a comment about 'who is normal' but i know there was a marked improvement in my situation wen i was first put on the pills, bbut ive even asked for a written copy of my care plan to be told i havent really got one, wat threat do i hold over them to get at least an assessment? What are my rights as to treatment within this practise? I spose wat im tryin to say is wat do i say, like ' this states i have a right to x, y and z, u give me it or this will happen'? I'm not being helped in dealing with everyday life and they are saying well wat do u need? but i don't know I dont feel ADHD is a gift anymore, its a curse and i hate it!
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Post by laura on Oct 1, 2009 10:35:12 GMT
hi asha im sorry to hear about the problems your having at the moment. it sound like even a 'normal' person would be having a tough time with the problems your facing and the attitude of your psch is certainly not helping, this is a bit of twix's letter found here aadduk.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=help&action=display&thread=540&page=3and im sure she wont mind me copying a bit, this bit states what she wants in accordance to the NICE guidlines and i think would be really helpful for you 'What I am asking for and expect is straightforward. All I ask is that I am treated in accordance with the NICE guidelines. 1.2.2 Identification and referral in adults with ADHD 1.2.2.1 Adults presenting with symptoms of ADHD in primary care or general adult psychiatric services, who do not have a childhood diagnosis of ADHD, should be referred for assessment by a mental health specialist trained in the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD, where there is evidence of typical manifestations of ADHD (hyperactivity/impulsivity and/or inattention) that: • began during childhood and have persisted throughout life • are not explained by other psychiatric diagnoses (although there may be other coexisting psychiatric conditions) • have resulted in or are associated with moderate or severe psychological, social and/or educational or occupational impairment. I would like an assessment, by a suitably experienced specialist, so that ADHD can be diagnosed (or ruled out should that be the case) I would like (should I be diagnosed) to be treated as detailed in the NICE guidelines. During this treatment I would like (as in the NICE guidelines) to be reviewed regularly by a specialist to determine the appropriate regime for me. 1.8.3.2 During the titration phase, symptoms and side effects should be recorded at each dose change by the prescriber after discussion with the person with ADHD and, wherever possible, a carer (for example, a spouse, parent or close friend). Progress should be reviewed (for example, by weekly telephone contact and at each dose change) with a specialist clinician. As there is no specialist at this time in X I would ask that I would be able to continue seeing the specialist that would be assessing me, until such time as X implement theses guidelines locally and then I would of course be able to transfer to the local team.' i hope it helps
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2009 16:04:42 GMT
asha i feel for you your life in lots of ways is mirroring mine only i havent got family pressures to (unless you count this as mother inlaw not speaking to me as i told her what i really thought of her as she said i was making her son miserable and should get on with it).
Im more fustrated than ever the poyschiatrist who i was reffered to is wooly, although he has said he thinks its adhd and put me on low doses of different drugs, ive reiterated on the last four times ive seen him i suffer with low self esteem and self worth, i akso look at things in a negative stance and live in fear, yet hbe still thinks pills are the answer and wont refer me for theraphy yet.
He keeps saying one thing at a time, this is peeing me off, i have days when i cant cope, yet ive been told i cant ring the service i have to dealk with this on own. Which is frusrtrating.
I* want to see a osyclogist who specialises in adhd but it looks like i may have to pay privately.
I like you feel like im fighting somthing at times but dont know what it is.
Im just gonna take stuff into own hands and by a cbt self help book and get counselling from gp, and try out different statergies until they work otherwise ill have years ahead of mne like this as nhs is so slow its frustrating and i hate the pill opping mentality that these will autonatically put you right urgh urgh urgh
You will get there if your like me and determined wr will fight system toigther. xx
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2009 21:45:09 GMT
one good thing thou is we've got eachother, that sounds really wet but u know wat i mean, maybe we cud look for coping statergy's online and if we're both medicated, then maybe, for both of us, its life skills, i. e. how to plan for disaster ( wow thas a good name for a book init?) but like I've found I cope much better wiv life in general. I mean I've realised something, if I have an appointment for say 1130, i can get my housework done by 10 am, or if someones visitting, but on days wen im staying in, i might even plan to do housework that day but it never gets done, it takes me all week to clean the house for some obscure reason, but maybe jus maybe if we recognnise wat works for us we can cope. My biggest problem is feeling frustrated becoz i know ive got it in me to be great if i cud jus sort my life out, also I tend to think too much, my boyfriend watches me and sometimes hell say stop thinking coz he can see my expression change or something, stacy slater said sommink in eastennders about her bi polar she said its like shes speading ahead and everyone else is behind and shes out of sync? i feel the opposite everyone else is speading ahead and ive bin left behind, like i feel like i dont know wat to do wen i grow up or sommink, i also have a problem wen sommink bad happens, it'll mess up my routtine, jus havin the police coming in and arrestin daniel that night means i dont feel comfortable goin to bed at night, i kno itl be alright if i change my bedroom around til then im sleeping on the settee. But that being said, we have a great resource in the web, we can look at each symptom, then the treatment, then the result, so in a way i spose i can actually find out how im spose to feel, thas good init? We got each other, thas my point. I set up a website and have been a bit disappointed it hasn't got more attention, its about a girl wiv ADHD whos implanted with a technology to make her really strong? So boundaries arent really given too her, she has a lot of power and no self control and ultimately becomes a terrorist, becoz she has no choice and doesn't believe she can be anything else but then is given a chance by someone who believes in her, and in typical ADHD style i aint thought it through, its a story website, you can read the story, bbut my target audience ADDer's aren't really readers are they? Who has patience for reading Lol, I was hoping a producer would see it and want to turn it into a tv show, but of course, who wants to read, but its out there now, but i dint get the reaction i expected, now im doubting its any good and feel really low about having wasted 7 years of my life in some hyperfocused craze, writing it! I like it, love the chatacrters, i believe it has potential but without anyone elses input I'm not sure whether its self indulgent crap ot just plain crap! It's hit me quite hard, coz its making me second guess my abilities, I feel like just quitting, but theres this part of me that cant let it go, also its making me second guess who I am, I thought of myself as a writer but i gguess im a failed writer or jus an arrogant weirdo anyways, SO off topic, I spose wat Im saying is I feel so out of control of my life and I seem to have SO much to sort out I have no idea how to start, I feel like I need to take a good look of myself and give up the writing to make room for cleaning, washing or some other thing in my life that NEEDS attention, of course this i find deeply depressing which in turn makes it impossable for me to do anything, writing about Asha is the only real pleassure i have left, but wats the point of writing something no one wants to read? That means Im starting to not enjoy it, Im actually finding that deeply depressing also. I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO DEPRESSING, I REALLY STARTED TO WRITE THHIS TO SAY, LETS ENCOURAGE EACHOTHER! xxx
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2009 22:41:58 GMT
Firstly, you're awesome. You've been candid and honest in ways I look forward to being.
Secondly, and I reserve my right to be ADHD about this, I have no idea what second was supposed to be. You sound like you have a bucket load of real life problems, and I've no idea how you'd sort them out. But I'd place good money on the advice here and your apparent bollocks finding a good way to do so.
Here's to advice and bollocks...
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2009 5:48:51 GMT
You sound like my kind of person too Lol! I've had a thought, I'd like everyone on here involved in my website, could u post on my blog? andreasstorys.webeden.co.uk/#
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2009 16:15:25 GMT
hi asha its meggie sorry for the very late reply it was v selfish of you, reading your last email has moved me to tears because thats how i feel, its like you are my doppleganger, we have and are still going through hell at times and our partners can see our hurt but they dont know what to say or do to stop it.
I 75% of time feel like a failure and i let everyone down the jobs ive screwed up the debt i put my wonderful partner in through obssessive spending the wstriving to be perfect, and accepted (i know im not). Im constantly apologising to people somewtimes i get angry you see and say horrible things to people i liove. I want so much to be liked. I try and do things like a fundrasing walk and help out charities but im not consistant , i dont stick at nothing then i let people down who relied on me. and i see the disappintment in them. I interview well, start off all entusiastic at work and dont sustain it, its like i lose focus and beciome complacent i hate myself for this. Ive got 4 cross stitch projects on go but never finish them off why, why why. I try to tidy the house organise draws etc yet it always looks messy compared to other peoples. I start one thing then go onto another then back to thing ive started which is exhausting and weird people look at me stangely at work and wonder why i do things id do i try and change my ways and personality but itrs hard.
I know im hyper my mind races i can be on the go for six hours without sitting down for a drink, i talk very fast ideas for things pop into my head, and sometimes i interout people ( very annoying habit) and say ideas cause im frigtrend ill forget them as my short term memory is crap.# ] How can anyone say adhd is a gift its a pain in the arse whch has made life very hard at times.
Thats why now ive got the diagnosis, i want ti change and pugt things in place to make life easier, i want to hold down a jo long tgerm, i want to learn to relax, i want to lkke myself and be acepted by others, ive nearly begged for cbt or counselling but they say one thing at a time ive waited 33 years for this that attitude is frustrating as hell.
Thatgs my rant i will change i will put things in place to help me i will stck to a job, and i will learn to chill out, and if the psyclogists in the nhs wont put things in place to help me ill do it myself but i wont give in, im fed up with feeling crap about self.
S9o Asha lets come upo with some stratwergies to help each other ill support you the best way I can, but i promise WE WILL SORT THIS OUT AND GEGT THROUGH THIS AND IN SIX MONTHS THINGS WILL LOKK BETTER THAN THEY ARE NOW WITH OR WITHOUT THE NHS SUPPORT. XXX
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2009 16:18:28 GMT
sorry first sentance wrote wr9ng its supposed to say very selfish of me not you. I should read what ive written before posting it. V sorry.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2009 16:51:04 GMT
Hi Asha you are a creative genius,i lookednatnyour website its very dark nand deep, and the story is a very good way of expressing yourself, i think the website is excellent its like sharing a part of your inner most thoughts to the world.. I admire you for that and not being afraid of who you are, you like me want people to accept us, good on you.
Im not in sci fiction, more rom coms and happy ever afters but i appreciate the thinking that went into this and your. obviuosly extremly talented and creative and i wish you all the very best with the site
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2009 17:03:52 GMT
ive just read your email again Firstly PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT GIVE UP WRITTING YOUR STORIES, THEY BARE THOUGHT PROVOCING AND GENIUS AND IM SURE WORD WILL GET OUT ON THIS WEBSITE ABOUT HOW CLEVER YOU ARE,TO CHANNEL YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND COME UP WITH SOMTHING LIKE THIS, CONTINUE TO DO THIS FOR YOU ITS THE BEST THREPHY OUT.
Secondly i hate change to it messes my whole routine up and i lose it for the day, infact i find it hard to cope with anything stressful and think to hard so i know where your coming from xx
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2009 16:38:29 GMT
Sorry i can't offer advice, just a virtual hug! So sad reading about your grand-daughter, its so wrong not being allowed to see her Simone x
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2009 9:47:45 GMT
...it is V V sad, but I'm in process of making appointment with solicitor's for Daniel, even if he sees her in a contact centre, as long as he can build a relationship with her, I'm pretty content wiv waiting in the wings til shes ready to make contact with us, I've built up a little box for her with treasures for her to look at when shes older and a diary of sorts so she knows she was never lost or forgotten to us, it does make me sad, but I know my son has rights and I'm spurred on by making sure he takes advantage of those right's and making contact with a solicitor has put my mind at rest as i know legally he will know what those rights are.
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Post by boo on Oct 5, 2009 10:21:47 GMT
oh asha, the treasure box sounds wonderful. i wish you all the luck in the world for the contact with her
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Post by haydreamer on Oct 5, 2009 17:52:58 GMT
Asha, don't give up!! u have so much potential and talent! u will get a break , even thou doesn't seem like it now x
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2009 9:31:54 GMT
the Treasure box is a lovely idea, and im sure your grandson will love it. I feel for you you are having such a s**t of it at the moment. But i reiterate again you are very talented and you will suceed ( failure is a word I refuse to accept)., Virtual hugs and good luck with every thing, please keep in touch.
xx
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2009 9:35:59 GMT
sorry i meant grand daugther, why dont i read things twicw rathe than scan read once then i wont sound so rude sorry.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2009 10:53:04 GMT
...it's my grand daughter and things have got complicated, my ditsy son is still communicating with the ex, she is raising his anxiety through the roof by telling hhim, solicitors aside theres no way social workers will allow him to see her, I'm telling him to tell her to speak to his solicitor, but hes so scared he is still answering her calls, he cant believe a word she says, but I'm worried once her parents adopt Lily he will indeed be halted from having any kind of contact while his ex will get to see her every day, how is that fair? He had an appointment for 11 am tomorrow mornin but cudnt make it coz of work so im now waiting to see if he can get a later one and my head is stuffed full of so much, I can't think straight, I'm so pannicked its like theres somethingg i need to do ut ive forgotten and i dont want to remember wat it is?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2009 19:31:27 GMT
Im not suprised your so panicked im panicked for you just reading what your going through. Im a family support worker for a childrens centre and I knbow that your son has rights as a father and should be able to see his daugther once a week. It may be iniatially throgh a contact centre to prove to social servies that he can be responsible father but then there willbe no probs..Does your son want to bring up his daugther? or is it very complicated?. Im not suprised your heads all over shop.
My advice for what its worth, is put things on hold for a moment and do the bare minimum of housework you can cope with and take small steps to get diagnosed etc after this is sorted.
I go back to work monday after three months off (in which time diagnosed with adhd) i feel ive achieved nothing ive not really relaxed and destressed like i was supposed to do. Im teriffied of going back and failing this is the second best job,ive had since nursing which i failed at.
I feel my life is flying by and im achoieving nothing im in debt, wanta baby (terrified be bad mum) get married lose 4 stone, do my mom a beautiful x stitch picture for xmas (i brought stuff 3 months ago). I can never start things or finish them, terrible at money management and organisation. I just want to be normal what ever that is.
What would you do?
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