Post by magicnick1990 on Nov 8, 2009 22:10:08 GMT
Ok so I posted here a few times yesterday about my anxiety meeting up with my lady friend lmao.
Anyway, we're not an item yet just seeing each other.
So... I actually drunk a lot of Vodka before I saw her today, just to be more relaxed and myself.
Not that I'm condoning that but it's a short-term solution to a big problem.
Okay so... I got in the car, we went to her friends house who has some kids, I was just silent in there. Just sat there silent, laughing at the baby's... Small toes lmao but didn't say a word. I felt very awkward.
So then we left and... Went for a little drive, chatting casually and went back to her's and snuggled up and watched X-Factor. This part I enjoyed, we were cuddled up and I was making her laugh...
Erm, just like, one on one interaction I seem to be very good lmao, I can be myself and just be weird and funny etc. But anymore people and I just freak out and don't speak / can't function.
So, that was all nicey nicey, kissing etc. and surprisingly hardly any silences at all.
Then she dropped me home, I'm very awkward saying goodbye, got in a kiss and... I have to do something childish and fucking stupid to compensate for my real lack of social self-confidence.
So I like... Grabbed her fag packet, winding her up, chucked it back at her and jokingly said "Bye dear!"... Lmao, pathetic.
I seem to have a real problem with actual social interaction, one on one I'm fine, I can slowly work my personality into someone lmao, freak them out, I enjoy it and they seem to aswell.
But then the 'real' communication bits, I'm just a floundering fool lmao. I'm actually scared of getting with her properly as with things like... Going to parties and stuff... Omg, I'll have to get totally obliterated before I even go to them, just to be 'a bit' comfortable.
Are you all like this? Does medication (when / if I get it) actually help? I'm afraid she just thinks I'm a freak lmao. Well she does but she says it in a funny way and laughs at me and I think she really likes me but... I just can't function as a normal human ffs! Help! lmao.
Anyway, we're not an item yet just seeing each other.
So... I actually drunk a lot of Vodka before I saw her today, just to be more relaxed and myself.
Not that I'm condoning that but it's a short-term solution to a big problem.
Okay so... I got in the car, we went to her friends house who has some kids, I was just silent in there. Just sat there silent, laughing at the baby's... Small toes lmao but didn't say a word. I felt very awkward.
So then we left and... Went for a little drive, chatting casually and went back to her's and snuggled up and watched X-Factor. This part I enjoyed, we were cuddled up and I was making her laugh...
Erm, just like, one on one interaction I seem to be very good lmao, I can be myself and just be weird and funny etc. But anymore people and I just freak out and don't speak / can't function.
So, that was all nicey nicey, kissing etc. and surprisingly hardly any silences at all.
Then she dropped me home, I'm very awkward saying goodbye, got in a kiss and... I have to do something childish and fucking stupid to compensate for my real lack of social self-confidence.
So I like... Grabbed her fag packet, winding her up, chucked it back at her and jokingly said "Bye dear!"... Lmao, pathetic.
I seem to have a real problem with actual social interaction, one on one I'm fine, I can slowly work my personality into someone lmao, freak them out, I enjoy it and they seem to aswell.
But then the 'real' communication bits, I'm just a floundering fool lmao. I'm actually scared of getting with her properly as with things like... Going to parties and stuff... Omg, I'll have to get totally obliterated before I even go to them, just to be 'a bit' comfortable.
Are you all like this? Does medication (when / if I get it) actually help? I'm afraid she just thinks I'm a freak lmao. Well she does but she says it in a funny way and laughs at me and I think she really likes me but... I just can't function as a normal human ffs! Help! lmao.