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Post by magicnick1990 on Nov 9, 2009 0:28:53 GMT
I am seeing this girl. We've met up properly twice now but known 'of' each other for years, same area etc.
Anyway, tonight was nice - Not when we went to her friends, I was silent and awkward but when we went back to hers, her room, just me and her was lovely lmao.
Just one on one I like. I can't handle more humans. Unless I know every single one of them as well as the next lmao.
Anyway, she laughs at me and likes me etc. Erm but, I have a slight problem lmao. I know girls like to be complemented etc.
When I send her texts I send her insane, descriptive, creative things that make her laugh and I always complement her. And she says I'm always nasty to her when I'm with her.
Obviously I'm not really nasty but I do weird things like a kid, like, wind her up by... Fiddling and tryna twirl her hair and sort of try to weird her out a little just for a laugh but in reality it's to compensate for the fact I'm not comfortable in my own skin lmao.
I really have the urge to just say "You're beautiful" and "You're eyes are gorgeous" like... Seriously, when I am with her but I just cringe at the thought of saying something... Serious like that, a genuine complement without... Sounding like a cock and can't bare the thought of dead air or her even responding like "You cock" lmao.
Even though she 90% won't and will probably just love it I don't have the confidence to do it, I just feel weird everytime I go to say anything of the sort without a cover of a joke or... Strange action lol.
Will meds really help with this sort of thing?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 10:51:46 GMT
I'm a complimentary person too, (if i was a bloke i'd be really camp) but thats another story lol.. i get away with it coz i'm really touchy feely & always grab my friends hair etc, people expect it of me, so if you're not normally like that she'll be in for a surprise! girls do like to be complimented by their bloke but you don't ned to go ott if you know what i mean?!
Just go for it! Its nice to say how you're feeling about her etc, at an appropriate moment!
The meds arn't going to change your personality, they will slow your mind down somewhat & hopefully dampen the fragmented thoughts...
The problem is adhd is at its worst during the teen years imo, I think you're doing fine & i'm glad you met up with her last night, yay!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 11:54:18 GMT
I just want to reiterate what Simmone said, your doing fine stop beating yourself up, I'm sure she thinks your great to or she wouldn't text or meet up with you. CHILL!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 11:55:58 GMT
He's not in a chilled out mood this week!! He needs a spa wknd with the girls!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 12:00:58 GMT
I can see that i bet that would be in his fantasies, that would chill him out or maybe excite him more. Naughty naughty.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 12:18:21 GMT
Naughty naughty LMAO rolling in the mess in side my mind
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 12:30:28 GMT
OMG my gf's are outrageous!! They would slaughter the poor lamb! I on the other hand am fashioning the lastest Halo!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 14:05:55 GMT
Being complimentary is more of a woman thing though am rubish at it not a smooth talker at all apart from when on a role at ease with freinds otherwise stiff as anythink which I hate as it isnt me so it just winds me up even more.
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 9, 2009 20:57:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 22:37:05 GMT
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Post by magicnick1990 on Nov 9, 2009 22:54:12 GMT
Yeah but surely due to the increase in dopamine and subsequent more control given in thought and behaviour, they will change it overtime as an upshot.
Erm, but they subsequently give you more confidence by stoping so much over-analyzing and anxiety and therefore you can surely be more adept socially? Lmao I know it won't be that easy, I think I'm just hoping they'll do everything for me but social confidence and control is something I'm going to have to do largely alone. Great.
And Simone, yeah that spa weekend sounds very 'fun'!
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 9, 2009 23:02:31 GMT
State of flux oh yeah!!!!!!!!! thats me. always in 2 or 4 minds or 8.
Its like I have a quantum mind in that I far too often think of every outcome......
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 23:13:14 GMT
hi N or J
-i don't think you should go too crazy on the compliments!... a wise man once told me, you should only compliment a girl once a night!...
i don't know if i totally agree with him, but too many compliments are definitely a bad thing, because they make you seem too keen!
i think that with ADHD you have to deliberately hold back a little, which is sometimes hard.
-MM
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 9, 2009 23:17:57 GMT
yeah, hold back, you got to have good holding power....
Credit where credit is due. I don't take prisoners......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by magicnick1990 on Nov 9, 2009 23:19:06 GMT
I agree. It's not so much I don't know when or how to say them though. Simply that I don't have the confidence to say them in person lol. I only do it in text messages.
But yeah I'm totally aware that I probably seem to keen lmao... Erm, yeah, I'm constantly debating to myself whether to slow down and play it mr. cool like, whenever I have it seems to work better.
Or just constantly show her / tell her how beautiful and special she is and go overboard even though it's keen how can she not like it!
Lmao, constant head-juggle between behaviour.
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 9, 2009 23:27:46 GMT
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Post by forgetnotme on Nov 9, 2009 23:31:48 GMT
I find it very difficult to accept compliments but it good to give them. you can see people light up. its like a positive stroke. But even though I understand how nice it is to receive compliment why can't i take them.
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 9, 2009 23:42:16 GMT
hmmm. compliments mean nothing to me. I don't even celebrate my birthday because it means nothing to me. I made quite a strong point the last 2 years. Dont make much fuss because I have nothing to celebrate at the moment but I will let you know if I do one day................
weird eh?
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jules
Member's posted somewhat
You can conquer almost any fear if you wish - fear doesn't exist anywhere except the mind
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Post by jules on Nov 10, 2009 1:57:05 GMT
Hi, I have so much to say on this topic but can't get it out of my head and on paper .... it does my head in. Anyway it's about quality and timing rather than quantity - most things in life are felt it's all about a feeling. Top tip: just when you think u understand her - we change. Too much of anything is boring and bad. Running on Ritalin - Learning everyday. Jules
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Post by magicnick1990 on Nov 10, 2009 2:54:10 GMT
Not really, I'm the same. Well, maybe it is weird I mean but yeah I'm the same lol.
I'm 19, I don't display my birthday on FB and I don't tell my friends about it... It's not that I'm not fun I just... Cringe at the attention with something like that and also if I displayed it on FB and hardly anyone said happy birthday and people were just thinking "he ain't going out... What a loser" lmao.
It might also be linked to something that happened to me as a kid. Like... 9 maybe. I invited people to a birthday party and I think one kid turned up haha.
I was popular in school though, as a kid and a teenager so it's not like it was an on-going lack of social interaction. I had many friends especially at one point in school.
I never set up one single birthday occasion or had it done for me in school though. I never told anyone when it was and if you don't do that people don't think about it, they just assume it's passed or far away haha.
I did it this year too and actually hate seeing aunties etc. And try to avoid being in near or on my birthday incase they come with presents and I have to go and sit and do the fake interest but I also just can't be bothered lmao. It feels like an effort not only to do it but internally, I just... Feel incapable of doing it.
In terms of compliments. I only like them when they're relevant to a skill I've built upon myself. Of course I like it if a girl calls me cute or something too but I don't crave it or care about it.
But, for example, I did card magic obsessively for about 3 years, that was just in solitary practice haha but I've been doing it on and off for about 7.
And getting comments from people like... Well, public comments by people you do tricks on is okay but it's always just "that's amazing" etc.
What's really satisfying though is on videos etc. Getting comments from other magicians complimenting specific aspects of skill that I've purposely focused on purely out of my own obsession with said thing. Not because it's actually beneficial half the time.
So people noticing obscure points of detail I've worked on or even... Commenting on my writing skills or something is very nice. I'm writing a book on atheism, yar! F U God! lol.
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 10, 2009 9:32:14 GMT
I don't think men should ever be called cute once they get past about 6 years old personally. You can make a cute comment but to be called cute. I am agnostic, it's a sort of inbetweeny, non decision, comfort zone sort of stance........ Well, it's good that you have a skill you could use, IF, it was not for the fact that you would probably crack if someone complimented you too much or you liked them too much heheheheehehehahahaahahahehehhe. Well, going to check a few more posts. The main problem is, that, in the time that a typical person has done one thought cycle you and similar types (including me) have probably gone through 2 or 3 or more but without any decent conclusion UNLESS we really put our minds to it....Guess what, I can'ttttttttttt put my mind to it.. I was in the hospital earlier for a blood draw. Only waited 20 mins. I never look or speak to any of the other "clients" lol. Just head down or pretend I am admiring the ceiling/floor/cctv/doorways, tile patterns etc. Obviously, though, its all just avoidance. I did not even look at the phlebotomist as its just far too close for me........ This phlebotomist could not find my left arm vein lol. So, she went for my right arm and, for the first time in 6 blood drawings, the plaster was put on before the blood flow had stopped. I just checked and there is a bit of blood on the plaster, first time ever. That's a 16.66666% fail for something which is really quite easy if they follow a simple protocol..... Still, I suppose it's more difficult if they fancy you or something like that....Not saying she did of course blah blah. Anyway, tangent mode off...
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2009 19:09:33 GMT
Andy you're Cute HAHAHA!!!
Sorry Nick Jon, i'm not downing meds, maybe they do kick start peoples confidence, i hope so, its just they react differently with us all, they don't personally help that iside of me...I'm a hard nut to crack!!
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 11, 2009 2:00:04 GMT
cute............CUte...........CUTE.......CCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I am not.
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