Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2009 7:46:44 GMT
This site has almost been like twitter for me, only with the adhd bit.
I pour my heart and soul out on it, and its the best threaphy there is.
This year to me has been one big turning point and wake up call for me in so many ways, and its the biggest rollercoaster for me as yet:
At the begining, i had 6 cats, doing loads voluntary work, not to mention 3 night scholl courses, gym weight watchers and of course full time job as well as house to run.
None of it properaly, running from one thing to another like a wasp on heat, but never completing anything, and getting terribly frustrated and upset as a result.
Then i start to break down June time, this happens every year for me since 13, sometimes it lasts a day or it can continue for months, destroying everything in its path. An auto destruct button.
If wake up shaking crying, wanting again to know why i am the way i am. This resulted in many trips to the doctors in search for answers. Which as usual resulted in a change of anxiety meds etc etc etc, going of sick.
Until one day they took note and refered me to a psyci who said within half an hour i had adhd.
What i though? this is what troubled teenagers have, who are always in trouble, i was never badly behaved, i was too scared to be. Then I researched adhd and asked my parents allsorts questions and it became very very clesr.
Then i joined here the anger frustration why me's, why has it taken this long all casme out snd the hurt at times became to much to bear, so id drink heavily, and search desperately for answers on here which i thankfully found.
All my life struggling through uni wondering why it was easy for everyone else to do jobs and achieve but not me.
Now i know.
But ive now come to the conclusion im not a failure, maybe ive never had a sucessful career i yearned for and tried foe for 13 years, but now thanx to the diagnosis i have peace and hope and csn help self.
So this brings me to here the 11th December,
Ive:
Stopped all night school courses,
Rehomed 3 of my six cats to a lovely friend,
Stopped putting pressure on self to diet (although i know got to lose it)
Stopped going to gym cause i hate it.
Declutter home so its easier, very hard as I attach personal feelings and sentimentslity to things i own.
Took a £7.000 pound year wage drop and gone back to a job i loved but ever gonna be ricb doing.
Face debt management ( but hey hoh) price of impulsivity)
Gonna now 100% gonna try for a baby ive yeaned for since i was 20.
But mainly me my adhd are gonna try and be happy, by making my life as simple as it can, and not aspiring to be somthing i cant.
#I know now that id rather be bored than stressed to death.
Adhd has made me ecentric, passionate, loving, caring, kind creative and bubbly.
I will never be dull or vaucious or pretenious, up myself or look down on others.
I love this world majority of time.
But now im gonna start to love me
xxxx
I pour my heart and soul out on it, and its the best threaphy there is.
This year to me has been one big turning point and wake up call for me in so many ways, and its the biggest rollercoaster for me as yet:
At the begining, i had 6 cats, doing loads voluntary work, not to mention 3 night scholl courses, gym weight watchers and of course full time job as well as house to run.
None of it properaly, running from one thing to another like a wasp on heat, but never completing anything, and getting terribly frustrated and upset as a result.
Then i start to break down June time, this happens every year for me since 13, sometimes it lasts a day or it can continue for months, destroying everything in its path. An auto destruct button.
If wake up shaking crying, wanting again to know why i am the way i am. This resulted in many trips to the doctors in search for answers. Which as usual resulted in a change of anxiety meds etc etc etc, going of sick.
Until one day they took note and refered me to a psyci who said within half an hour i had adhd.
What i though? this is what troubled teenagers have, who are always in trouble, i was never badly behaved, i was too scared to be. Then I researched adhd and asked my parents allsorts questions and it became very very clesr.
Then i joined here the anger frustration why me's, why has it taken this long all casme out snd the hurt at times became to much to bear, so id drink heavily, and search desperately for answers on here which i thankfully found.
All my life struggling through uni wondering why it was easy for everyone else to do jobs and achieve but not me.
Now i know.
But ive now come to the conclusion im not a failure, maybe ive never had a sucessful career i yearned for and tried foe for 13 years, but now thanx to the diagnosis i have peace and hope and csn help self.
So this brings me to here the 11th December,
Ive:
Stopped all night school courses,
Rehomed 3 of my six cats to a lovely friend,
Stopped putting pressure on self to diet (although i know got to lose it)
Stopped going to gym cause i hate it.
Declutter home so its easier, very hard as I attach personal feelings and sentimentslity to things i own.
Took a £7.000 pound year wage drop and gone back to a job i loved but ever gonna be ricb doing.
Face debt management ( but hey hoh) price of impulsivity)
Gonna now 100% gonna try for a baby ive yeaned for since i was 20.
But mainly me my adhd are gonna try and be happy, by making my life as simple as it can, and not aspiring to be somthing i cant.
#I know now that id rather be bored than stressed to death.
Adhd has made me ecentric, passionate, loving, caring, kind creative and bubbly.
I will never be dull or vaucious or pretenious, up myself or look down on others.
I love this world majority of time.
But now im gonna start to love me
xxxx