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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2009 9:49:02 GMT
I let everyone down who gets to know me, i dont do it intentionally it just happens. Cause i couldnt do my last job (diagnosed adhd june this year) ive taken a £500 a month wage drop, to somthing i can do. But its gonna cripple us financially as £25.000 in debt. I used to spend impulsivily when i got down cause couldnt do somthing like others did and got critised. Ive let my partner who i love so very very much down and hurt and upset him, made his life a misery. Ive stressed my parents out , my sister, let down last employer down. I want a baby but teriffied i cant afford it. Im also teriffied ill be a bad mom, as rubbish at everything else. Sorry having bad day.
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Post by laura on Dec 16, 2009 10:39:17 GMT
hi megs im also having a bad day, i feel like ive let everyone down too, everyone was so proud that i got into uni and now im leaving because i cant cope, i left my last 2 jobs and need to get a new one, im just generally struggling with everything at the mo so much for chritmas cheer, im just not feeling it you sound great tho, i bet youd be a fantastic mum (i think the crazy mums are the best, alot more fun its not easy but if youve got the support of your partner thats a good place to start and i dont think theres ever a right time to have a baby i hope your mood improves big hugs!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2009 10:57:27 GMT
Im teriffied scared of future, i love my home and partner so much, scared of losing it all. I want a baby, but looking at my track record ill probably be a terrible mom. Im gonna get medicated for adhd in Jan but scared its too late. Im terrible at budgeting, ive never done it. I hope your mood improves, you have age on your side Laura your lucky. I could always live with parents i suppose, but id hate that. Why is it some people sail through life and others have it so dam hard. Anyway gonna try and take mind off it. Thanx for support, if your having down time you can always personal message me, im here for you.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2009 13:09:28 GMT
Are you on Cobcerta or any other stimulant? I find the emotional "crash when they wear off later in the day can be really devastating. I find that Ritalin (I take the ordinary tablet form) takes away all my emotional strife associated with hypervigilance - worrying about what might be happening somewhere else, what others are thinking , what happened yesterday, what might happen tomorrow, whether I'm a bad person, whether I'm loved and so on.. - I call them "the monsters in my head" When the Ritalin is working the monsters hide. When it wears off the little bastards come out again and contibute to the huge "crash". I've found that an antidepressant such as escitalopram helps level out the highs and lows a bit.
Stick with it darling x
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Post by .... on Dec 16, 2009 13:16:29 GMT
What doesn't kill you really does make you stronger Meggie.... 'Why is it some people sail through life and others have it so dam hard.' ..............Because some people are dead boring? And have very dull lives? About parenting - its alot about helping your kids avoid any mistakes you feel you have made in your lifetime. So theoretically.. the more mistakes 'I' make . The more I will be able to teach my daughters ;D . I know you can't see them yet... but for every cringeworthy moment there will be a shiny side up eventually Ihope
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Post by .... on Dec 16, 2009 13:18:23 GMT
Ps. Am not trying to marginalise how you feel about the stuff going wrong for you at mo . Just trying to reassure you that I think you will get thru it, and be a fantastic mother when the day comes
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Post by andy12345 on Dec 16, 2009 13:40:07 GMT
Not pointed at anyone in particular........but
One must try to bulletproof one's mind. Don't ask me how......
Whereas some have leather/plate armour on their skin, I have tissue paper.
It's not very effective and the "all or nothing" lifestyle does my head in.
Depression is one of those things.
It destroys many people/families every year.
Anyone who trivialises anyone's depression deserves to suffer it.
zzzzzzzzzzz, I feel tired already, what a surprise and it's trying to snow outside, typical england, can't do anything consistently.
:/
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2009 17:32:32 GMT
Thanx your right on no meds at moment got to have blood test tommorow test heart etc before commmencing on atamoxtine in new year. Im rying for baby at moment. Im scared ill mess it up as messed everything else up. Im just hoping i can sort self out and meds help, but i know got to get on with it. Im not a depressive person normally, just on downer and scared of future.
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