Post by Deleted on May 4, 2010 13:14:46 GMT
I Don't really know what to expect from posting this ..maybe just the fact that i can let out all the frustration and feelings of complete helplesness and guilt. My son is almost 17. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 7.
To cut a long story short my ex wife and i seperated in 2001 and he has lived with her and his brother ever since. The situation at home had gotton to the point where he could not live there any more so he moved up to live with my parner and i and our 6 yr old.
I wanted to give him a fresh start. We managed to transfer his college course and he moved in in September. The normal behaviour associated with his ADHD we can deal with. Having to be constantly on at him to make his bed, pick up clothes, have a shower, keep on top of his college work, tidy up after himself, do this, do that until he had done what it was he had to do.
Things took a turn for the worse in Feb. We had gone away for the weekend and he had against our instructions had a few friends round that turned into a party with about 30 odd turning up. The house was trashed. Police were called,Clothing and jewellry was stolen, total nightmare. We managed to get over it. We talked put rules in place forgave him, put it behind us and move on. Since he has been caught stealing money from us. A total lack of respect for the house and the family. He wants for nothing although he has to earn it. He has started hanging around with wasters who are not nice people and are happy to be on the dole and doss all day. I can sense trouble in the future and we dont want those type of people around the house. We work hard to try and give us a nice place to live and have a few nice things and to have had people going through our drawers and things makes you feel violated.
This weekend we went away again. He had somewhere to stay for the weekend with his nan only down the road in case he needed anything else He didnt have a key to the house as we wouldnt leave him there alone after the last time. He had got hold of a spare key and hidden it away. He had been back to the house bringing some friends with him. When told not to and £80 had been stolen from a savings jar.
I am now at the point where my partner can no longer put up with the stress and the lying and the total disregard for the family the home and us. I dont blame her. I cant argue the point and agree with all she is saying. Either my son has to find somewhere else to live as she can not live under the same roof as him any more or we will have to split up.
I feel guilty that i have let my son down in some way. How can you choose between two people you love with all your heart???
Two people you would give your life for and i feel as though i am being ripped apart piece by piece.
I dont know what to do or where to turn for help. My whole world is crashing down on me...
To cut a long story short my ex wife and i seperated in 2001 and he has lived with her and his brother ever since. The situation at home had gotton to the point where he could not live there any more so he moved up to live with my parner and i and our 6 yr old.
I wanted to give him a fresh start. We managed to transfer his college course and he moved in in September. The normal behaviour associated with his ADHD we can deal with. Having to be constantly on at him to make his bed, pick up clothes, have a shower, keep on top of his college work, tidy up after himself, do this, do that until he had done what it was he had to do.
Things took a turn for the worse in Feb. We had gone away for the weekend and he had against our instructions had a few friends round that turned into a party with about 30 odd turning up. The house was trashed. Police were called,Clothing and jewellry was stolen, total nightmare. We managed to get over it. We talked put rules in place forgave him, put it behind us and move on. Since he has been caught stealing money from us. A total lack of respect for the house and the family. He wants for nothing although he has to earn it. He has started hanging around with wasters who are not nice people and are happy to be on the dole and doss all day. I can sense trouble in the future and we dont want those type of people around the house. We work hard to try and give us a nice place to live and have a few nice things and to have had people going through our drawers and things makes you feel violated.
This weekend we went away again. He had somewhere to stay for the weekend with his nan only down the road in case he needed anything else He didnt have a key to the house as we wouldnt leave him there alone after the last time. He had got hold of a spare key and hidden it away. He had been back to the house bringing some friends with him. When told not to and £80 had been stolen from a savings jar.
I am now at the point where my partner can no longer put up with the stress and the lying and the total disregard for the family the home and us. I dont blame her. I cant argue the point and agree with all she is saying. Either my son has to find somewhere else to live as she can not live under the same roof as him any more or we will have to split up.
I feel guilty that i have let my son down in some way. How can you choose between two people you love with all your heart???
Two people you would give your life for and i feel as though i am being ripped apart piece by piece.
I dont know what to do or where to turn for help. My whole world is crashing down on me...