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Post by BRENDA on Jul 3, 2010 18:26:05 GMT
My son is 19 now and seems to be suffering with anxiety and depression. He has always been a difficult child lashing out speaking nasty, irritating and very violent. he slept very little and wet the bed till he was 11. at school his report said he had serious behavioural problems and unable to get on with his peers. i took him to the docs for help when he was 10(as he gave a boy at school concussion) and they sent us to a anger management lady, who gave up on him therapy wise and just said i will give him something to calm him down at play time i refused the medication and never took him back again(as we had always put up with him the symptoms didn't seem as bad to us we just thought he was a bit bad tempered) any way as i say he is now 19 he always thinks the worst is very nasty to everyone he cry s when he is annoyed or confronted about anything he spends money the min he gets it is abusive to his girlfriend (who he now lives with) he refuses to wash a dish , or do any tidying up he speaks so out of turn to everyone he is just generally nasty most of the time however when he is nice he is lovely he complains of bad stomachs and is often sick he has a poor sleep pattern and always has to have the last word . he is very un-organised and forgetful. he hates himself and others and will let nothing drop he cant concentrate for long. am at my wits end with him and want to help him so much can anyone help and point me in the right direction.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2010 10:02:16 GMT
Hi
I thought, for what it is worth, I would reply to your message. I know we are all different, but I identified with so much of what you said in your post. My daughter is now 29 and was diagnosed nearly three years ago with ADHD and Dyslexia. She had all of the symptoms you describe and before diagnosis she had lived a life of absolute misery (and so did we as a family). Can you imagine what it must be like for a person who is reasonably intelligent, but whose brain will just not process information in the way that most 'normal' brains do. We are just an ordinary family, no money, and all the usual problems. I looked up on the internet and found the LANCS centre in Horsham, West Sussex. After all the suffering, and having read of the dreadful struggles people have to go through to get help or diagnosis, I decided I would sell my soul if I had to, to get immediate help. Although it was a struggle, I am so glad I did. Although it has not been plain sailing, my daughter is now coming to terms with her past and all the negativity. Up until diagnosis, she could barely read, write and definitely could not spell the simplest of words. She spent most of her life on the verge of a breakdown (and has had two). Now, although she does not find it easy, she has almost completed two short Open University Courses and has signed up to do a degree course. Because of her learning difficulties, she does not have to pay for any of these.
Please do not give up, you can help your son. Without spending hours, I can not list everything that I would like to say to you, but be determined and get your GP to refer you to LANCS - Dr G Kewley. You can ask for an NHS referral. If they are bloody minded and wont refer your son on the NHS, the only way you could do it would be to pay. I know what a struggle that is, because if was for us. But I had got to the point where I would have sold everything I had to be able to get out of the life we were having. Dont be fobbed off, let your GP know that you will not be put off.
Please let me know how things go. I really do hope things improve for you.
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Post by markingreenwich on Aug 16, 2010 20:51:08 GMT
sounds like high level autism plus some adhd, the autism is whats making him hate him self and have trouble communicating. dont want to sound accusatory so take this the right way, stop hating the drugs, adhd drugs are great. theyre not hrose tranquilisers, they dont work that way ie drugging someone into a stupor. mine help me concentrate on one thing at a time which means i panic/get angry less and then the autism doesnt get a chance to amplify the emotions. read more on here to understand how you are not in an unusual position and then sort out a correct diagnosis and help. it will make both your lives easier honest =) coming here to ask stuff is a good step =) and fyi, I have aadhd and high level autism and some aspergers so i empathise, i nwever had the size to do some of your sons stuff at school, i lost as many fights as i won if not more =) Mark
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Post by Lucy on Nov 30, 2010 16:56:12 GMT
............but what do you do if you know / realise (now) that ADD is the reason your son has lived such a difficult life to age 23 and he doesn't accept (or want to accept) the ADD might be the problem? That his 'difficult behaviour' over the years of miserable school and lost jobs is not because he is a bad or horrible person. What do you do if he blames other things (other people) for the traumas in his life and doesn't acknowledge that these things might be because of ADD? How do you sit back and watch your son lurch from one failed friendship / relationship after another, knowing that the right sort of help might, just MIGHT, put a stop to all this heartache? Please dont tell me to talk to him I have. When he is in despair he wants to talk, he wants to look for answers as to why he feels so different. But when I think I have got through, given him information the read, gone to see the GP with him he comes 'up' again and seems to 'forget'. Until the next time.................
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Post by twix on Nov 30, 2010 19:43:06 GMT
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you have to let him get on with it, you can't do it for him, keep loving him but maybe take a step back and let him sort it out his own head, pushing him to sort it may just make it worse.
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Post by ChaosLily on Nov 30, 2010 20:50:30 GMT
Mind you, if the lad's been to a GP and mentioned ADHD he may have got the 'no such thing in adults' reply and got scared off. Ya never know!
Give him this forum address and then wait and see if he's ready to use it.
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