Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2010 14:24:12 GMT
ever since my boyfriend has been diagnosed with adult ADD he's been reading up on the subject a lot, as have I,...
he talks and thinks a lot about it obviously.
now that he's in the process of looking for work again and planning on enrolling in college, the knowledge of his diagnose seems to get in the way as much as it helps.
watching him I worry he will use it as an excuse because is has greatly discouraged him.
before the diagnose he was like "okay maybe I'm lazy, I don't know what my problem is, but I somehow have to get over it..."
now he's tending to feel "okay so I have ADD, I can't do that, and can't do that, and I can't do housework because I'm mentally ill"
I know this is normal when suddenly you are faced with such a diagnosis but... I'm scared he'll just resign.
I once (made the mistake? I'm not sure) told him not to let this control his life and not use this as an excuse to give up...
what followed was some sort of aggressive breakdown that actually scared the hell out of me because he usually isn't the china-breaking yelling-at-me sort of guy. he apologized for the low level insults later, where he told me to shut up since I have no idea what it feels like, and also to leave him alone if I can't handle it...
statements that I'm sure hold an element of truth but hurt me nonetheless because I felt he needs to understand that it's not possible to be in a relationship and totally ignore his condition and feelings, also that I don't want to.
I felt very helpless trying to be there and help (only not sure how well I did the job) and having it thrown back in my face like that. it's just that there is a lot of frustration, fear and aggression going on since this diagnose came up.
have any of you experienced something like this... I bet?
he talks and thinks a lot about it obviously.
now that he's in the process of looking for work again and planning on enrolling in college, the knowledge of his diagnose seems to get in the way as much as it helps.
watching him I worry he will use it as an excuse because is has greatly discouraged him.
before the diagnose he was like "okay maybe I'm lazy, I don't know what my problem is, but I somehow have to get over it..."
now he's tending to feel "okay so I have ADD, I can't do that, and can't do that, and I can't do housework because I'm mentally ill"
I know this is normal when suddenly you are faced with such a diagnosis but... I'm scared he'll just resign.
I once (made the mistake? I'm not sure) told him not to let this control his life and not use this as an excuse to give up...
what followed was some sort of aggressive breakdown that actually scared the hell out of me because he usually isn't the china-breaking yelling-at-me sort of guy. he apologized for the low level insults later, where he told me to shut up since I have no idea what it feels like, and also to leave him alone if I can't handle it...
statements that I'm sure hold an element of truth but hurt me nonetheless because I felt he needs to understand that it's not possible to be in a relationship and totally ignore his condition and feelings, also that I don't want to.
I felt very helpless trying to be there and help (only not sure how well I did the job) and having it thrown back in my face like that. it's just that there is a lot of frustration, fear and aggression going on since this diagnose came up.
have any of you experienced something like this... I bet?