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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2010 20:07:07 GMT
Hey, Im at the primary stages of sorting adhd, but my life is a total mess. I dont speak to my parents, my brother and sisters only txt once a month i live 35 miles from my home town, im seperated from my partner, i have fallen out with all my mates one way or another, no one ever wants to know me(and if they do its for a short while) i have two amazing sons who i father every weekend. and im on my 17th company in 5years.... im a plumber... I have read alot of comments on this web site and it has made me cry, laugh and undrestand....
Anyone want a swap.....
ADVICE WOULD BE NICE.......
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2010 20:43:20 GMT
Hi Raffo! ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) I'll swap with you! An interfering mother and a sis in law that won't shut up - fancy that? I love 'em to bits but I need a rest!
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Post by phil on Sept 30, 2010 2:20:59 GMT
family get on my man tit's i got a good mix of mates so i'm sorted in that respect, believe the peace is nice ;D all my friends are about 35 miles from me i don't bother with the locals here just as well lol ;D
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Post by mizmog on Sept 30, 2010 10:45:54 GMT
Raffo your living my life.... and I thought there was only 1 of me! LOL... Everything u hv said is what i am going through, except I now hv a husband after distroying relationship after relationship... My parents hv nothing to do with me and live 150 miles away, My eldest sister only writes on facebook and my younger brother and sister dont even want me mentioned... I hv been through 4 jobs in 3 yrs, I hv fallen out with every single friend at one point or another, if i hv friends its for a matter of months before they dissapear... and now my husbands family wont hv anything to do with us because his mother cant stand me... I hv spent yrs pulling myself aprt.. I thought it was my weight so i dieted until i was ill (and i was never bigger than a 12) i thought i was ugly and thats why ppl hated me, i even thought it was the town we lived in so I moved far away.... but just recently after having my son diagnosed with ADHD, his doctor suggested I had ADHD and its kinda starting to make sense.... I see so much of me in my son its scary... but like alot of ppl, I am too scared to go back to the doc to get proper diagnoses... it was almost like he had found out my little secret!! I am here if chatting helps, it certainly is starting help me alot ![:o](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/shocked.png) ) Thanks x
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2010 12:44:30 GMT
I,m like that to not at all close to my family in fact TBH they get on my nerves my mother places demands on me I can not reach, in fact when i had my first son she asked for me to have an abortion I was 23, she went on to tell everyone I would not cope and would be a usless parent, My son is now 21 in his third year at uni settled with a good job and a GF he to has ADHD
me and my 17 year old son get along fab he to has ASD and ADHD, then I have an almost 14 year old member of MENSA bright little spark but one who got bored to death at school so I home educate him he to has ADHD as for friends I dont do friends i cant meet their demands I also dont understand all this gossip they have about other friends when the other friend is not there , and then after saying loads of horrid stuff they are all nice when the person shows up
I am also now very overweight this is a shocker as for years i was underweight, now in my 40,s i dont seem to have any get up and go like i used to, I am unmotivated lost my mojo
I actually feel I have spent my whole life being misunderstood, being the thicko because i couldnt spell or do fractions as an adult i do lack confidence in myself and never feel i get anything right.
I,m a photographer started my own business last year but its not going to well because although i attended course marketing and branding are above me and i am also very critical of my own photography
Life is not simple and its even harder when your misunderstood all the time, but i guess we are here living it so should be grateful Andrea
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Post by mizmog on Oct 3, 2010 16:36:50 GMT
right with u there Andrea... its a life spent with the feeling u've done something wrong but never quite knowing what... I often used to ask ppl to help me understand what I did wrong especially in social circumstances, but no one could or would ever tell me... I often convince myself I am actualy talking in a foreign language but to me it sounds English and thats why ppl dont understand me!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2010 21:33:29 GMT
This is totally me. Not only do people I befriend seem to lose interest in me and find someone better, but when talking to people they often interrupt and ignore what I say. I have very few friends left and thinking about it are all men but one and all but one of the guys are either my ex, used to have a crush on me, still have a crush on me or are just plain creepy, some more than one. The only other guy I have no idea why he still likes me.
I'm close to my family, but living at home left me fed up from my nasty stepdad being a bitch to my little brother being annoying.
People just seem to ignore and forget me it's rather weird. It's like they avoid me and avoid saying that they know me. I was in part of an attack on a bus last night with my flatmate and his friend, and my flatmate failed to mention to my other flatmate that I was there, which I found out when the one who was told asked if I'd heard that the friend was beat up on a bus.
And I'm only 19, no children, no significant other.
I'm trying my f***ing hardest but it doesn't work. I don't even know why. If I knew what I was doing wrong I could change it. I totally understand where you're coming from.
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Post by mizmog on Oct 3, 2010 22:44:48 GMT
I cant believe so many of us all feel the same!! I hv spent my life thinking its just me and being so very lonely.... so now we all know what the problems are, how do we go about changing them? how do we make our selves the kind of ppl that other ppl want to be around? or do we just sit here faceless on the net at stupid o'clock wishing it was different???
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2010 7:28:45 GMT
This is very interesting. I used to be like this in School. I got bullied and all that.. Nowadays I have some great friends. I am the opposite of what used to be. I get along with most people and vice versa. I often get told that I am funny..
The strange thing is, that as soon there is one person which seem to not like me, I do have a problem with this. I wonder why. Cant think of anything I have done wrong.. this goes on my tits to be honest, as I should really NOT care of who likes me and who doesnt.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2010 22:59:44 GMT
hiya, this is all very familiar, its my fist time here, so and I already lost the thread. I got a diagnosis of adhd and severe depression this year (aged 44). i got suspended from my healthcare job twice for impulsive sweary melt downs , righteous in all ways except they dont like curse words, after years of work place bullying and exclusion that they ought to have been ashamed of as nurses really, but they know best.
Very few people even know what it is or believe i have it. i used to climb out of my window in the early hours, when only 4 years old and have been smashing stuff up like pots doors since i can remember. And moods, the blackest sometimes, cant think about them, nearly there now. When people dont want to believe it, and you admit that you can't be what they thought you were, they either carry on as before, increasing demands and pressure or regress as my as yet undiagnosed daughter is doing. A few crapper "friends" i have sacked completely as when i started taking concerta and was able to think, they retreated as if they realised that now i could see how they had abused my good nature because i was so behind the door and overcompensated too much. How ill and depressed do i have to be before people stop telling me i'm stupid, disrespectful, useless, or that adhd is something invented by a drug company and i'm a sucker on even that count too?
Forget about the people that don't seem to like you, care or try to accept your adhd. I find it's enough to focus on what is going to make me happy and give me peace, most of the time at the moment for me that is being alone, making art, playing the guitar.
Maybe those others don't have that, many people want a mirror (with soft lighting) when they meet other people, easy to look at, flattering maybe what they get when they meet someone with adhd its a mirror but too bright, or too dark, inbetween is hard to find.
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Post by kakema on Oct 7, 2010 6:56:38 GMT
I love that analogy, colette! We're like a mirror - how true. On a good day, I'm 'refreshingly straight-talking'. On a bad day, I'm overly frank! Don't have many shades of grey in my palette, and certainly don't have a decent foot-guard on my mouth!! ![:o](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/shocked.png)
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2010 19:08:52 GMT
FRIENDS ARE THE FAMILY YOU CHOOSE AND WHEN YOU GET YOUR MEDS YOU WILL BE ABLE TO RECRUIT YOUR OWN !
Although I loved my family dearly (they are all deceased)I love not having people telling me what I should or shouldn't do ! It's so liberating ! x
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2010 17:12:45 GMT
I'm of the mind family love you, but dont always understand me and some of my behaviours, but since the diagnosis, and them seeing me trying soo hard to help self they have come around a bit. People have to accept you for who you are, being adhd/add or whatever is not alll bad well never be boring and life is never ever dull.
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