Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 13:45:11 GMT
Because he just won't talk to me about it. If I bring it up, he leaves the room. He suggested in the first place (albeit as a joke, he thought!!). I just need him to listen to me.
|
|
|
Post by Ravendarque on Mar 16, 2011 14:26:00 GMT
Sounds like classic denial. Maybe he thinks you're making it up (it's an 'invisible illness' after all) or maybe he doesn't feel he can deal with what it might might, or maybe he thinks it will mean you will no longer be the person he married if you get diagnosed. You can see a lot of this in 'Is it you, me, or adult ADD' by Gina Pera.
How to deal with it is very subjective, but maybe if you provide some evidence - as you would to your GP - he might think twice. I am very reactive so I tend to blow up and dismiss things if addressed directly (that's an ADHD thing apparently though). However, if someone provides me information without asking for anything back, it ticks over in my head and my thinking tends to come around. Maybe try that?
Alternatively, if he really won't help you, pursue a dx on you own and let him know later if or when the time is right. I don't think that's a healthy way of doing it, but weigh up your problems with his reluctance to talk and the scales tip pretty heavily in your favour.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 18:55:00 GMT
Hi Chilli, my bf is exactly the same. I find it really annoying that he will spend lots of time laughing at my dizziness, belittling me, and often assuming I'm stupid, but pretends I haven't said anything if I try to point out what I believe is causing it and that its not fun for me. I've told him about my dyslexia dx (high IQ, low working memory / Info processing speed) and he'll just let me mention it then won't say anything / change the subject.
He has problems with his weight, and I bend over backwards to help him out, in a positive way, without making him feel bad.
I need to get more assertive and better at confrontations, but I'm no good at making arguments on-the-fly, often go vague and random, and I can't exactly stand there with a list of what I need to say written down. ... I suppose I should just make it really simple... acknowledge what I'm saying or 'F*** Off' and see what happens.
|
|
|
Post by twix on Mar 16, 2011 19:26:17 GMT
Dunno but hope it gets easier when he's had time to think about it? I found a good article that I emailed to my bf, sometimes its easier to write it so he can read it in his own time? If I can find it I will link it, it was on here...somewhere...
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 19:28:38 GMT
I could say something really inappropriate but I'll bite my tongue for a change;).
|
|
|
Post by twix on Mar 16, 2011 19:32:17 GMT
|
|
|
Post by andy12345 on Mar 16, 2011 19:47:10 GMT
QUOTE I need to get more assertive and better at confrontations, but I'm no good at making arguments on-the-fly, often go vague and random, and I can't exactly stand there with a list of what I need to say written down. END
vague and random sounds familiar to me (and that's just when I'm talking to myself) I bet most times you will either leave the room or spit fire and brimstone eventually.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 20:15:04 GMT
Twix - that link is amazing.
Right - here goes.............
|
|
|
Post by sherry on Mar 16, 2011 21:38:22 GMT
That link sounds more like my other half than me, bollocks.
|
|
|
Post by sherry on Mar 16, 2011 22:17:20 GMT
Well I am in the dog house again, ripped the other halfs head off when I got home and he is still in the other room wiv a face like thunder.
|
|
|
Post by Ravendarque on Mar 16, 2011 23:42:24 GMT
I apparently often have a face like thunder, which is in contrast to the fact that many people tell me I look like Jesus, who I'm pretty sure would probably have had a face like some other much nicer meteorological phenomenon.
|
|
|
Post by phil on Mar 17, 2011 4:54:34 GMT
Say it jah ;D Andy you don't talk to yourself I do too lol I'm the only one who makes sense around me! I used to hear a little voice in my head too but it's stopped since I left the wife it constantly used to say " I wish she would shut the fuck up"
|
|
|
Post by Ravendarque on Mar 17, 2011 9:58:08 GMT
Talking to yourself is the only surefire way of intelligent conversation.
That and the fact that no-one else seems to appreciate that the whole history and every related detail of a subject are of great importance and therefore they are required to remain silent and thoroughly engrossed in the monologue until I've finished.
|
|