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Post by dizzydee on Feb 16, 2012 20:37:49 GMT
my son has all the signs of add except he is not hyper active he takes hours over the simplest of tasks and cannot hear me when he is doing something, even with strict discipline it takes a couple of hours to wash up he is about a year in front of his predicted science and maths scores but has always been may years behind in English he is rubbish at sports at his last parents evening he was described as intellectual but very disorganized but she said that the cleaver ones are, at primary school i thought he was dyslexic and a very kind head teacher tested him which the last school had refused to do, but no he isn't the only part of the test he failed was the hand eye coordination part. he is a very quiet boy and if i have to tell him off he is mortified. but the thing is idon't know what to do i don't want him to struggle through life as i do but i don't want to make him feel there's something different about him..... he has a step brother who has been medicated since he was about 5yrs but he has other problems as well....... does this sound familiar to any one??
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2012 20:58:17 GMT
He really needs to be seen by a developmental disorder specialist - the symptoms you describe could be anything from the list of - ADHD
- dyspraxia
- dyslexia
- autism
or any mix of the above. It could simply be dyslexia - we can forget that they frequently have distraction issues, dyspraxics have dodgy coordination and confusion issues etc etc It's far too easy for us to jump straight to ADHD since that's what we know - though it's certainly a good possible.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2012 21:45:17 GMT
Sounds just like i was in school. please get him seen, but as you say try not to isolate him too much. see if you can find teachers that will utilize his good traits and not make him stand out with his bad.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2012 21:57:18 GMT
Yes, I was quite frustrated by my daughter's psych trying to say that my daughter's attention/ memory/ organisation/ impulsivity/ emotional lability issues were all down to dyspraxia, because, like me, she performs well academically. And it's true that the symptoms overlap hugely - also, she is dyslexic, which could account for some of her memory issues etc. She hates sport/games, same as me, although she can be very randomly active, and superficially she appears very clumsy and accident-prone. I remember at a large family dinner, when she was two, she got bored sitting at the table and began running round and round it until she ran into a chair and poleaxed herself. Just the first of many trips to casualty...
But I believe there are some important things that the psych is ignoring, that differentiate her - first, she has excellent fine motor-skills; when she wants to be, she is a superb artist, producing work that her teachers say far outstrips that of her peers. It's just that when she gets bored with a drawing, she'll scribble; you can see from her pictures the point where she just lost interest and rushed to finish the job. Similarly, her marks for practical exercises in DT will range from very high to very low, depending on her engagement in the task. And if you observe her at play, she's perfectly capable of being coordinated, she's just extremely impulsive, reckless and careless - she trips over things because she doesn't look where she's going, not because she wasn't able to avoid them. She also hyperfocuses intensely.
Fortunately, the ADHD team have said that, despite her academic ability, there's enough in her case to warrant an assessment, so we're just waiting for the appointment now.
Her dad does, I believe, have dyspraxia - he's the most uncoordinated person I've ever met - incapable of home decorating, for example, without making a horrific mess; can't work out how to use a potato peeler, and even his gait looks ungainly. He's got the memory issues, shocking handwriting, poor concentration - although not through distractibility, just a discomfort with concentration, rubbish organisation (he does tasks really laboriously, but still in the wrong order - just not logical) - and can't use a screwdriver or a hammer. And he never hyperfocuses.
So there's a lot of overlap, as pd says, and you shouldn't ignore or discount the little things that might not fit one disorder, because they might be the clue to another. Just tell the psychs what you are seeing and let them work it out - and hope that they won't ignore the detail, either!
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Post by mccutcheon on Feb 17, 2012 10:49:32 GMT
just a quick thought as an example: my friend who has dyslexia has way worse concentration issues than I do with my adhd.
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Post by dizzydee on Feb 18, 2012 23:56:00 GMT
hmmm theres a lot to think about there thank you all. i think i will start by talking to his teachers again and see what they think, he has been tested for dyslexia so at least i can rule that one out. i had never even thought of the others mentioned he is a good boy and well behaved i think thats why it has not been picked up before....oooh shiney alot of what you have said sound familiar he used to bite his own fingers when having dinner so hard he would sob he still does sometimes he has broken his wrist arm and crushed his finger chipped his elbow and many minor injuries...
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Post by dizzydee on Mar 8, 2013 20:46:19 GMT
omg this post has just made me realise what a terrible parent i am!!
I posted this a year ago and have still not taken him to the doctors, his teacher said that she did not think medication was a good idea for Morgan as it tends to make the children a bit docile and she did not seem too concerned, however she was calling me as Morgan is not getting home work done. I guess that made me think ah well no point, and to try and excuse me a little bit i thought maybe my doctor would help me once i get my dx (and that's taking way longer than i hoped).
my daughter has just been referred to the children and young adults mental health team as she is obviously not coping but i don't think she has ADHD maybe Bi Polar or depression.
I've just got so much going on at the minute that i just can't think about it all, with me half way through my dx and my psych off sick, my job heading down the toilet and my daughter being so sad that i have let him get on with it as he is happy.
I am letting the people i am supposed to protect down and being selfish, but i really did think that when i am diagnosed i wouldl be better prepared to then help them.
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Post by li0nberries on Mar 9, 2013 8:30:21 GMT
Hi, I don't have enough time to respond to your post in full but I can relate to absolutely everything you say.
My son is 14 now and at grammar school, has been having massive problems at school all his life and homework is the worst because by the time he's spent a whole day at school, he's got nothing left to give but because he is so academically bright he "can't have a problem", it seems to me, it is only now I have my dx and meds that they have started to take me seriously or it may be because I am going about it a better way? Either way he's being sent for a dx.
I know it's hard not to but don't beat yourself up about it. Sometimes all we have the strength and where with all to do is love our children. Get your dx and then get someone to support you with the process of getting to the root of Morgans problems because it is not easy especially when you don't think much of yourself and your parenting to push against people who are "qualified" in children.
Good luck and a big hug xxx
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2013 8:56:03 GMT
'Tends to make children too docile'?? What evidence I'd she basing that assessment on - the Daily Mail??
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spok
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Post by spok on Mar 9, 2013 13:38:46 GMT
'Tends to make children too docile'?? What evidence I'd she basing that assessment on - the Daily Mail?? She probably thinks they use sedatives on the hyperactive children... I've heard that peddled around a lot.
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Post by dizzydee on Mar 11, 2013 19:24:36 GMT
lionberries... thanks for your kind words they do help and i did ask the teacher if she knew medicated children and she said yes i assumed she thought if he calmed down any more he would be unconscious she probably only knows the hyper children.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2013 17:31:15 GMT
I would consider myself the non-hyper type (not diagnosed). I always loved english but hated maths. I still hate maths.
mccutcheon: is it possible your dyslexic friend has ADHD too?
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Post by jan on Mar 14, 2013 8:19:26 GMT
you've got so much too deal with, really, and its so hard when our kids are unhappy - i've only got one and it tears me apart to see her depressed and struggling with life! your not on your own - it took me 3 years after her diagnosis to really start finding out about adhd and start understanding whats going on and i know if i'd been able to do that sooner she'd be better now than she is! - - - but we can't give what we havn't got!!! i used to think that was load shit and just an excuse and something to say to make me feel better but its true and you are doing your best - what more can you do than that!
make sure you look after you and it'l get easier to look after them. Can you access some sort of councelling until your diagnosis is finalised? Any sort - just so you got support for you. and keep posting if youv'e got the energy. xx
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Post by dizzydee on Mar 14, 2013 20:03:57 GMT
Janev- awe, brought a lump to my throat thanks so much.
I did have a counselor about 10 years ago but i know live in a village near a small town and my practice doesn't offer counselling, i do have a husband so I'm not completely alone it just feels like it sometimes. x
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