Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2009 21:34:10 GMT
Thanks for previous advice - I have found a local support group, and most of the parents have teens with adhd, so at least wont be alone.
Having done my usual "cramming" on a novelty subject (ADhd) in this case, I have realised that while I might be reasonably OK at work, as long as the variety is there and I can change my job every couple of years, I have totally failed to use many of the techniques I use to compensate at work, when trying to be a parent. For instance, I may be unusual but at work I plan everything to the enth ridiculous degree, and write lists, reminders (post it notes are my god send), project plan everything and mostly this works, except I rarely get anywhere on time, but I am really good at hitting deadlines for substantial pieces of work (providing my timescales are short- otherwise I get bored). I do forget a lot, but I usually get away with this because I am surrounded by people who remember so in the main this goes unnoticed (or at least it seems that way).
But I noticed recently at home I can barely remember what time I agreed was the curfew, or to check that the kids have done whatever they agreed to do- tidy rooms, turn off computer/ /exbox etc. They are used to me trying new techniques and completely failing to follow through - yet this is exactly what both my adhd teens need. Fortunately only one of them is the hyper/impulsive type, the other is the totally innattentive but reasonably compliant type! I really dont think I can sustain the amount of effort needed to remember and plan everything both at work and at home - I can see myself going "post it, whiteboard, diary / notes" mad while trying to do the best for both teens.
I know this is a bit of a rant, but I am going a bit mad here - any suggestions at all would be gratefully received.
Oh yes, and cos I cant sustain relationships with other adults very well (I am ok with the kids) I have been a single parent for 10 years and only have a couple of good friends, so I dont have much support other than my own resilience
Having done my usual "cramming" on a novelty subject (ADhd) in this case, I have realised that while I might be reasonably OK at work, as long as the variety is there and I can change my job every couple of years, I have totally failed to use many of the techniques I use to compensate at work, when trying to be a parent. For instance, I may be unusual but at work I plan everything to the enth ridiculous degree, and write lists, reminders (post it notes are my god send), project plan everything and mostly this works, except I rarely get anywhere on time, but I am really good at hitting deadlines for substantial pieces of work (providing my timescales are short- otherwise I get bored). I do forget a lot, but I usually get away with this because I am surrounded by people who remember so in the main this goes unnoticed (or at least it seems that way).
But I noticed recently at home I can barely remember what time I agreed was the curfew, or to check that the kids have done whatever they agreed to do- tidy rooms, turn off computer/ /exbox etc. They are used to me trying new techniques and completely failing to follow through - yet this is exactly what both my adhd teens need. Fortunately only one of them is the hyper/impulsive type, the other is the totally innattentive but reasonably compliant type! I really dont think I can sustain the amount of effort needed to remember and plan everything both at work and at home - I can see myself going "post it, whiteboard, diary / notes" mad while trying to do the best for both teens.
I know this is a bit of a rant, but I am going a bit mad here - any suggestions at all would be gratefully received.
Oh yes, and cos I cant sustain relationships with other adults very well (I am ok with the kids) I have been a single parent for 10 years and only have a couple of good friends, so I dont have much support other than my own resilience