Post by winnie70 on May 1, 2013 21:52:00 GMT
Hi, I'm new to this forum and need some advice/guidance about how to deal with my partner who has adhd, as I'm at the end of my tether and fear that my relationship is in serious trouble.
My partner was officially diagnosed with adhd last year, he has been on meds for a while but has now stopped taking them as he believes that they do not help him. I disagree.
Life for me is difficult at the moment, however I can't seem to do or say anything right to him and every time we argue everything is always my fault, never his. He just can't see or even admit that his behaviour is sometimes unreasonable.
Tonight we have fallen out over nothing again, he did not like my reaction to something he pointed out and said in a rather abrupt childish manner. The words he used and the tone in which he delivered it was very very hurtful and when I reacted to it he stormed off in a huff as if it was me who was in the wrong and blaming it on me again.
I am at the end of my tether, I am scared to say anything to him at the moment for fear of him taking it the wrong way, it seems that it is OK for him to say anything in the most abrupt manner without me reacting to it, and if I do then it is me who is in the wrong!!
How can I stop being hurt by what he says, how can I stop reacting badly to it? he just doesn't think about how he says things or what language/tone he uses to say it in, and his temper/patience is horrific even though he always swears that he never shouts - he always does.
I am sick of being told that it is me that is the problem, I am now beginning to doubt myself and wonder if it really is me. I have always been quite a placid/calm person, someone who avoids conflict at the best of times I have only begun to argue so much since I have been in this relationship.
Is it me/ Am i really not coping being the partner of someone who has adhd, what can I do to make it better? how do I make him understand? any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
My partner was officially diagnosed with adhd last year, he has been on meds for a while but has now stopped taking them as he believes that they do not help him. I disagree.
Life for me is difficult at the moment, however I can't seem to do or say anything right to him and every time we argue everything is always my fault, never his. He just can't see or even admit that his behaviour is sometimes unreasonable.
Tonight we have fallen out over nothing again, he did not like my reaction to something he pointed out and said in a rather abrupt childish manner. The words he used and the tone in which he delivered it was very very hurtful and when I reacted to it he stormed off in a huff as if it was me who was in the wrong and blaming it on me again.
I am at the end of my tether, I am scared to say anything to him at the moment for fear of him taking it the wrong way, it seems that it is OK for him to say anything in the most abrupt manner without me reacting to it, and if I do then it is me who is in the wrong!!
How can I stop being hurt by what he says, how can I stop reacting badly to it? he just doesn't think about how he says things or what language/tone he uses to say it in, and his temper/patience is horrific even though he always swears that he never shouts - he always does.
I am sick of being told that it is me that is the problem, I am now beginning to doubt myself and wonder if it really is me. I have always been quite a placid/calm person, someone who avoids conflict at the best of times I have only begun to argue so much since I have been in this relationship.
Is it me/ Am i really not coping being the partner of someone who has adhd, what can I do to make it better? how do I make him understand? any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.