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Post by fuzzywuzzy on Jun 23, 2013 18:43:16 GMT
Further to my post in funny/horrid memories in school.... In the next two years children in my daughter's school normally go on a weekend away, yr 5 and a week away, yr 6....oh no!! I just don't know what to do, on the one hand I don't want her to miss out.....she really wants to go by the way...but on the other I'm not sure she could:- 'hold it all in' in front of her friends for that many days in a row be trusted not to go on unsupervised 'walkabout', like her mother!?!? Anyone been in the situation? I've been told that 3 or 4 children don't go each year, maybe due to cost or same worries as me thanks for your wise replies and help x
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2013 19:36:15 GMT
I'm of the opinion they've gotta make their own mistakes, preferably, sooner rather than later.
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Post by fuzzywuzzy on Jun 23, 2013 19:44:57 GMT
Hi Mike......with NTs I agree.....no, with all kids I agree.....but everything is age appropriate.....and ADHD kids are 2/3/4 years behind emotionally....oh God, what a nightmare
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2013 20:06:03 GMT
It's a tricky situation and I don't know what I would actually do if I was you. I do know that my own daughter would bargain hard and fast until I let her! ADHD kids are 2/3/4 years behind emotionally Says who? Remember, ADHD is headlined as an executive disorder. It aint that we don't know how to do things, we simply can't start the process. Take a healthy person and tape their mouth shut. They now cannot speak. They know HOW, they just can't do it. I'm sure people would say, even now, I am an emotional retard or that I lack empathy. However, I have both in bucket loads and always have
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Post by fuzzywuzzy on Jun 23, 2013 20:51:09 GMT
Dr Barkley.... World renowned expert on well, er, um, ADHD gap bigger at 20 yrs = .emotional age of 14 otherwise, i get what you say....like your daughter, I have no doubt she will 100% grind me down hypersexuality problem too....can get taken advantage of....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2013 21:03:03 GMT
I think that's emotional regulation rather than emotional development but I see your dilemma
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Post by Kathymel on Jun 23, 2013 21:28:02 GMT
My instinct says let her go and don't treat her differently than the other kids, However, I don't know your daughter.
Why not have a chat about your concerns with the teachers who will be leading the trips. x
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Post by jan on Jun 24, 2013 8:35:22 GMT
this site does my head in i was constantly looking for new posts yesterday but never saw this one till now!!!!!!
i'm so with you FW - my daughter went on a trip to the isle of wight with her school when she was in yr 6 - i was really worried about her going but she really wanted to go , also they had a policy that they wern't allowed to ring home at all the week they were there - this was before the time that every kid had a mobile - but some did and they wern't allowed to take them,
i negotiated with the school that she was allowed to phone me - sorry my memory so bad can't remember if it was just once or a few times through the week - glad that i did though because it was the week of the 7/7 bombings in london and she was worried.
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Post by JJ on Jun 24, 2013 9:13:33 GMT
Hi Fuzzy - with the obvious caveat that only you know your child best - my instinct too would be to let her go.
My son (With ASD) went away for the day to France in year 5 and about 4-5 days on a PGL trip in year 6. (PGL is an adventure holiday - canoeing, abseiling etc).
He had no sense of danger, no ability to 'read' people's intentions, no 'street-wise' about him, he also had lots of repetitive odd rituals he 'had' to do every day, which he mostly managed to keep in at school but they built up and had to be released at home. Eg, he would make big explosive noises and throw himself on the floor...over and over again for hours. Everyone thought he was weird, he had no friends and was also being bullied on and off.
I didn't want him to go - horrible scenarios were endless and the French trip ones additionally involved him falling off / being pushed over the side of the ferry as well as getting lost in a country where he couldn't speak the language.
He begged me to go...the teachers promised me they'd make sure he was placed in a nice group of children, they'd take good care of him, he'd enjoy it and would benefit. In the end I relented. I put bits of paper with 'emergency - mother (my phone number)' in every pocket in every item of clothing he had and told the teachers to call me immediately if he wanted to come home day or night and I'd be there.
I spent the entire time he was away a heartbeat away from a full breakdown and had my phone strapped to my hand....And he came back safe, having enjoyed it and it having benefitted his self-confidence.
Yr 7 in a new school with people who didn't know him (and still intermittent bullying) he went to France for a week, yr 8 to Germany and is about to go to Spain. I've hated every second and In a couple of weeks I shall be crippled with anxiety when he goes. ..
I went away when I was a kid and the teachers barely had anything to do with us then - send us off with a return time of a few hours while they nipped to the pub... They just do have to take more care these more litigious / health and safety conscious days. It's still not 100% fool proof in terms of risk but the odds are in favour of her being ok, having a good time and coming back in 1 piece. You'll be a wreck of course but she won't feel like she's missed out...
Good luck with your decision - I sympathise with how hard it is, this is the first of many stresses about when's the right time to let them experience more independence / how much - it's not been easier for me with time cos the more able they become, the scarier the things are they want to do.... Whatever you decide now is ok - only you know what's best for her, so if you really don't think she'll cope, don't let the teachers or anyone make you feel bad xxx
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Curtis
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Post by Curtis on Jun 29, 2013 14:07:04 GMT
I don't know your daughter, but unless there are any strong specific reasons for not letting her go, I think you should give her the chance. I was able to go on a couple class trips when I was younger and they're some of the highlights of my childhood. There were also a couple class trips that my parents wouldn't let me go on and getting to hear everyone go on about how amazing it was once they got back left me feeling rather gutted.
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Post by cheekybuddha on Aug 27, 2013 18:29:11 GMT
I went on a primary school trip once, it was just like school so kinda hard, lonely, but i tried, its all i knew, I was worried about weeing the bed... But I know I would of hated not to go, would have been crazy to have missed it
Your child lucky to have switched on parent, can you try to coach her a bit? Coach her teachers abit?
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