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Post by shapes on Apr 15, 2014 22:09:05 GMT
I like the idea of keeping "done" lists. That's a lot better than "to do" lists which I always fail, either by writing crap tasks that aren't focussed enough or simply not getting them done.
A "done" list can't really be failed, there's just varying degrees of success.
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 16, 2014 8:40:39 GMT
there are lots of days when the only progress i make is keeping going and choosing one tiny tiny thing so that i can say today i made progress. other days have a little bit more, some days have bigger things, sometimes gently and sometimes at a cost. today i'm struggling, tomorrow i'll need to rest up a bit and choose a really tiny thing... progress is about the direction of travel, not necessarily the volume of stuff that gets moved. keeping "done" lists keeps a sense of what has been achieved - if we just looked at what there is still to do we would go mad. do a small thing a day. it all counts, it all counts, it all counts. just need to remind myself this today. it bears repeating! weds before 11 ammedicationwrite to do listset self up for gentle day of recovery hwb, coffee get dressed meditation11-3yoga - it feels great - just do it!breakfast - more of a brunch really at 3pm but microwaved scrambled eggs & salad - yum go through project actions & prioritise for this week, next week email R re visitreply to emails that need response this weekalso did laundry & hung it up tidied kitchen & washed up sorted fox-strewn rubbish from front garden with help of neighbour read additude magazine
3-6lent readingresttext K re rx collection italian verbs x 30 mins?exercise eat6-10shower supper tv or internet bed by 9 with book, sleep by 10
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Post by twix on Apr 16, 2014 9:16:16 GMT
I think maybe I see it differently. Pass or fail is for exams.
A to do list isnt an exam its just a tool like a screwdriver or a hammer.
Somedays you need the screwdriver and somedays you dont....
I write a to do list because my short term memory is poor and I forget what I am meant to be doing. Also because I struggle to prioritise and seeing it written down means I can see it all at once and pick one thing to work on. Its never (for me) a list that has a deadline. That way it doesnt seem overwhelming or something to beat myself up about not doing.
Recording done stuff does feel good. Thats why I did the sucess thread. The MOT thing is a massive improvement for me.
Anyway I am rambling. What I am trying to say is be nice to yourself. Use the threads if it helps, ignore them if not.
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Post by greyblanket on Apr 16, 2014 9:22:06 GMT
Wednesday
Am feeling very stressed again this morning. I have not been getting enough exercise and have fallen into the sugar trap, and keep eating the mini eggs I bought for Easter and then replacing them, eating them, and so on. I should not eat any sugar, and it just makes me feel awful when I do.
Feel very scattered and have already sat in car in Tesco carpark for staring at phone wondering what to do, but eventually wrote a list, and went in and bought what was on it.
One of my goals for the week was to go to bed early, but I have not been doing this and have been getting to sleep late, and this just adds to misery and increases anxiety. Feel too anxious to read in bed. I know exercise will cure this, as will not eating sugar.
So today if I do one thing, it will be:
AVOID SUGAR LIKE THE PLAGUE -Yes!
And if I do two things, the second will be:
30 Active minutes
forgot to mention an important third thing: MEDITATE Also
On my list for ages, so am clearly avoiding:
Really make a big effort to do these two:
15 mins or even 10 mins paperwork. Put shoes in shoe cupboard or tidy shoe cupboard This is a more complicated task than I thought. I have tried to tidy, and have thrown away one lone shoe. Have made a reasonable attempt for today, and will carry task over. :: :: :: Be a good parent
Restore kitchen
Make bed
Tidy bedroom
Vacuum stairs
Don't forget Doctor this afternoon
Continue to reduce laundry mountain, BTW it is now quite orderly and no longer frightening.
Help mum with printer
Shopping (replace mini eggs)
Hide all chocolate and biscuits and do not eat them
Work out some sensible food to eat, and make sure I eat before I get too hungry and then eat sugar
Council Tax Standing order
Put shopping away
Prepare dinner
Water plants
Maybe:
Do some strimming in the garden Weed bed for garlic Hair appointment Plant some seeds Do some more realistic planning
This looks quite feasible and realistic.
Notes. Doing really well today, have done some ADMN! Major achievement. Considering how terrible I felt this morning, the effect of exercise is so clear to me, I had stopped doing it over the last couple of weeks being so overwhelmed, and I must remember that I can't afford to miss it. Have also eaten well and sensibly. Allthough most of the house is still chaos, bits are ok and I feel more or less in control of the situation rather than the other way around.
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Post by greyblanket on Apr 16, 2014 9:25:49 GMT
I write a to do list because my short term memory is poor and I forget what I am meant to be doing. Also because I struggle to prioritise and seeing it written down means I can see it all at once and pick one thing to work on. Its never (for me) a list that has a deadline. That way it doesnt seem overwhelming or something to beat myself up about not doing. Recording done stuff does feel good. Thats why I did the sucess thread. The MOT thing is a massive improvement for me. Agreed, a list is really is the only way I can keep track of what I have to do. It can also be helpful to look at the things that sit on the list that you never actually do. gb
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Post by twix on Apr 16, 2014 9:28:01 GMT
Congratulations on surviving the supermarket!
I know what you mean about sugar.
I think I might have a morning off.
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Post by greyblanket on Apr 16, 2014 10:43:13 GMT
twix you deserve a morning off.
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 16, 2014 11:01:46 GMT
if i didn't write things down i would not remember them at all, except perhaps in a panic when they had become urgent or some thing made them feel urgent, or if i was feeling bad their notdoneness would add to the sense of overwhelm, so it's a memory thing.
added to this, for me i have no structure in my days or weeks or months other than what i find from within or impose on myself. left without any structure i am increasingly chaotic and unhappy, and my encounters with the structures of the world (appts, deadlines for forms, other peoples' expectations) become even more fraught with stress and a sense of failure than they they would otherwise be.
i put my times on things not to give deadlines (i struggle with deadlines and times and the stress of procrastination, not being ready, not having energy etc etc etc) but to give shape to my days. otherwise i would probably wake late and do little, and live in chaos and be depressed and even more unhealthy than i am.
at the moment i am shaping around dayllight, around when i have contact with other people or help to do things or appts or energy, around when i have learned that my body actually prefers to sleep and wake (as opposed to my mind, which would stay up all night and frequently tries to, not wanting to let go of the day).
it is not a pass or fail but a record or reminder, an encouragement or acknowledgment, a giver of a little discipline and boundaries, sense and shape.
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 16, 2014 11:07:06 GMT
meditate, exercise, sugar - prob my top three too, tho caffeine and sleep/bedtimes make up a strong top 5.
except that yoga is a sort of halfway between meditate and exercise, so i like it's joinedness hybridity and wonder if it's two in one or its own animal : )
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 16, 2014 13:46:18 GMT
ooo look -i went orange. i have arrived
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Post by greyblanket on Apr 16, 2014 13:49:26 GMT
Yes SLEEP is another one. I don't often drink coffee and do have a few cups of tea, but I am not too aware of caffeine being a problem, but that's not to say it isn't.
Yes, that is probably why yoga is such a fantastic thing it is exercise and meditation combined. I haven't done any yoga for years and years, and always think I would like to, but just don't do it.
gb
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 16, 2014 14:30:32 GMT
i found an adapted yoga book online and bought it, and follow the stretches. it takes me up to an hour to get my breathing sorted and the warm ups done, and it always feels great. i keep thinking i will get to practicing full sessions but not yet. when i started last july and did it each morning it had a clear and considerable impact and i felt fabulous. when i stopped doing it every day in october and through the winter i could feel my body twisting up/seizing up and my pain levels went up too. but still couldn't make myself do it. D'oh! i have done it twice a week for the last two weeks; now i would like to try and do it most early mornings again. "just" need to get my sleep/wake cycle back in train so that i wake up with time & energy to invest in yoga (me) greyblanket you are doing amazingly well with your to do lists and doings
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 16, 2014 14:33:06 GMT
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Post by greyblanket on Apr 17, 2014 9:28:42 GMT
THURSDAY:
Very pleased with yesterday's progress. Managed a whole day sugar free and did not wake up feeling doomed and demotivated. Glad to have done exercise, as I also know that helps me to sleep better. Although I did go to bed too late, and wasn't very enthusiastic about getting up.
The other thing I forgot to do was MEDITATE. I am completely out of the habit of doing this, so I will try to fit it in today.
Things to keep in mind:
Stay SUGAR free Eat proper food and don't get too hungry Consider feelings and needs of others Don't turn small tasks into major projects
To do today:
AM chores:
Make bed, tidy bedroom Quick clean bathroom Restore kitchen Put on Laundry Process more of laundry pile. At least 30 mins run or jog
Clear sofa Clear table
Vacuum/dust/tidy living room, but NO REORGANISATION - just maintenance
Pack and Post eBay item Plan dinner
Clear space to do messy printing Get stuff together to do above Be sure of what we are doing before we start Lots of rags, lots of space, and clean place to put stuff Stay calm and don't be irritable
Do 45 minutes strimming, sweeping in garden. Just maintenance and tidying don't start any garden projects. Repot seedlings before they die
Look for record player
Prepare dinner Sort some things to put on eBay (if I get time)
Early to bed
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Post by random on Apr 22, 2014 8:07:22 GMT
Pay bills
Change standing order
Order meds (2 sorts)
send email address
Quick pass at route planning
send card
Tomorrow
Deal with car...
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Post by greyblanket on Apr 22, 2014 9:18:58 GMT
G O A L S F O R W E E K Tuesday 22 April 2014
Looking back on my goals for last week, I didn't do most of them, but that's OK, because I did do a lot of good things and felt that I coped well and also made progress in the general project of sorting my life out.
The reason I didn't complete/achieve them was because I didn't really have any way of knowing what I should do, and what was really important.
I have found making a note of things as soon as I think of them and trying not to do them is very useful, because to be honest most of them are not important and are generally things I could consider doing sometime in the future or in an ideal world.
Participating in this thread has made me realise some things. I probably already knew them, but I can now see more significance.
I tend to make things far more complicated than they need to be, both as a reason for putting things off, and also when doing things tend to do them in an elaborate over complicated way, and can be unnecessarily thorough in a way which would be fine if I had all the time in the world, and didn't have millions of uncompleted tasks surrounding me.
I am feeling the benefit of just doing things quickly and getting them done.
For this week I want to:
Finish clearing utility Room, and do give it a very thorough clean, and organise it well.
Get up to date with washing and ironing
Keep up to date with daily cleaning routine
Take stuff to dump
Throw away as much as possible
Get lots of exercise
Try to actually meditate and stop thinking about meditating
Do some admin every day
Do a little bit in the garden every day. Inc planting garlic and other seedlings which may well be dead now.
Don't worry about hall and shoe cupboard until the utility room is done.
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Post by random on Apr 23, 2014 9:16:27 GMT
Order meds (2 sorts) I couldnt remember the name of one of them, but I found it....
send email address
Quick pass at route planning send card
Tomorrow (now today) Deal with car... Hmm it is now wed so had better deal with this Pay bills Change standing order
Thursday Go to sussex
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Post by twix on Apr 23, 2014 18:35:00 GMT
I need to
Tax my car
Get a doctors appt and some more meds
Find some work stuff i cant find (panic!)
and probably some other stuff....
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Post by twix on Apr 23, 2014 21:22:53 GMT
Work out and renew speed camera thing on sat nav.
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Post by random on Apr 25, 2014 7:55:50 GMT
Some packing for holiday Get food Be at home for phone call
Really do the car. Put this off long enough. rant - lost the info I need for it.... Pay Credit card bill Pay cheque in
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 25, 2014 8:42:11 GMT
get dressed meditation
check re staples trip get some pens/paints for banner for sunday sort out bed plan, prep, cook, chill some food for next few days so easier to remember to eat get help to do banners for sunday remember mother coming to tea - save some emotional and physical energy
give thanks for miracles! that was astonishing - i was really struggling and then someone offered to help with the hard bit - woop woop O M Goodness i have actually ticked off everything on my list and it all went well. who knew? esp after yesterday crashed to a miserable halt. just goes to show... something or other.
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Post by greyblanket on Apr 25, 2014 11:57:14 GMT
Not getting on well today. Probably because I had some work to do and so got up, gave two people lifts to different stations, and then sat down to work at the computer to do the work I had to do, and then submitted it on time (15 mins early).
I probably feel crap because I have been chained to the computer all morning, and have had no breakfast. I have been deprived of my morning tidying activities, which make me feel able to tick off things on my list, and exercise which both make me feel good, and give me a sense of achievement. I now have to fight against feeling despair and disillusioned and just get on and do some things.
So today I must look at to do list and try to prune it Eat Do cleaning tidying routine 30 mins exercise
Then anything else I can manage.
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 25, 2014 19:12:31 GMT
hi greyblanket - i hope your day has got better i sometimes have days when i feel the day has been "spoilt" because something has gone wrong / i have not had my usual routine / i have made mistakes / i am swamped or overwhelmed... and sometimes that makes me grind to a halt with overwhelm and frustration and misery what i am trying to learn to do is say to myself (actually out loud!) that there is plenty left of the day, i can still do things i would like to get done, i am doing really well to have stopped and thought and refocussed.. etc. amazingly, it seems to work. i can still be left with that feeling of disgruntledness but not as tho i want to screw up the day and start again, or as tho there is no point in doing anything at all now cos it's all gone wrong...
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Post by twix on Apr 25, 2014 22:20:05 GMT
Found the stuff i thought i lost. The rest can wait.
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Post by greyblanket on Apr 25, 2014 22:29:23 GMT
contrarymary. I am a great one for not liking the spoilt thing. Day, notebook, meal, project. Really the problem was I didn't eat, rushed around being compulsively helpful, which I didn't have for because I had work with a deadline to do. Then spending a long time doing the work which required intense concentration was bound to make me feel worn out. Yes, reminding myself that all is not lost is a good strategy, but it's hard because when I feel like that I tend to get in a cut-off-my-nose -o-spite-my-face kind of mood. I did manage to get on a bit and will try to be kinder and more forgiving tomorrow. I need to be like twix and get ready the night before.
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Post by twix on Apr 26, 2014 14:29:07 GMT
I need to keep getting ready the night before going. Drifted back to bad habits by Friday. Late Thursday made it on time (just) on Friday mainly due to luck and below average traffic.
Need to keep on at it....
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Post by greyblanket on Apr 26, 2014 18:31:48 GMT
I need to keep getting ready the night before going. Drifted back to bad habits by Friday. Late Thursday made it on time (just) on Friday mainly due to luck and below average traffic. Need to keep on at it.... Yes twix keep it going, you can do it.
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Post by random on May 12, 2014 9:09:37 GMT
Not been here recently. been on holiday, got stress. need a holiday to recover from non-holiday.
Investigate missing bill (I am sure I paid it .....) Get a treat for lunch as reward. Actions for meeting (well at least some!) Book lunch for mums birthday. A bit of tidying but don't get manic and start atacking wrong area. Try to track down John If time, make a vent post on the non-holiday
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Post by greyblanket on May 13, 2014 9:51:13 GMT
Today:
Stop feeling that everything has fallen apart and just get on with it.
Not quite able to actually list things.
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Post by random on May 30, 2014 10:58:22 GMT
Sorry - been tpp stressed tp visit here. Put a few already done things on to show progress.
Contact allotment done but got unhelpful reply
Book tickets Collect meds
Make salad Backup laptop. Bit of hangup. publish pictures of allotment
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