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Post by studentmum on Aug 30, 2015 13:51:56 GMT
Hi everyone! My 5 years old is drives me crazy in the last 2 months I don't know how to handle her. She cry for everything, she scream a lot (she have big problems managing frustration), she is like a mussel on a rock with me. My ADHD gives me problems to manage house properly, so, having her doing tantrums all day, it makes me underachieve my goals for clean house. In September I will start my degree, and I don't know how to manage everything. My husband is very supportive, but he is at home just during the evening. I'm feeling lost (Sorry for my english)
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2015 8:23:42 GMT
Hiya. I'm sorry you are struggling. Where are you, location-wise, and is there any help available locally, eg parenting support groups? There are often things like this advertised at my local library. It is hard to help over the internet, because we can't know all the things that may be contributing to the behaviour. Off the top of my head, if she is clinging to you all day, and you are frustrated by the housework, could you give her an age-appropriate share of the chores, and let her work alongside you? It sounds like she really wants to be with you and yet it's a struggle because you both have a low tolerance of frustration. There are all sorts of star charts and reward systems you could find online, to maybe make a game of the housework. For example, I'd set a 5 year old to work pairing up socks, folding small towels, picking up toys etc, and pay her with pennies in a special money box to spend on any kind of crap she wants on a weekly shopping trip. I'd keep housework sessions brief and follow them up with a nice, tiring run around outside to discharge any excess energy. There is a very nice, polite, "worthy" website with household organisational tips called www.flylady.com which is aimed at adults but also includes tips for getting your children involved with chores. And there's a deliciously profane one called www.unfuckyourhabitat.com which is the one I like to use.
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Post by aetheling on Sept 1, 2015 10:08:10 GMT
Hey =). That sounds incredibly frustrating, although there's going to be a reason for it and I'm sure you can get around it so don't despair =)
The helping with chores and receiving rewards is a brilliant idea imo ^_^ but I'd also consider if she just needs quality attention? You're probably going to want to punch me for saying that if all you do is give her attention, haha, but perhaps she needs you to set aside time for just the two of you if you find your life is really hectic right now, no distractions, if she likes colouring or art, or if she likes running in circles (a classic), or anything you can do as a pair. That way when you need to get on with stuff you can tell her what a nice time you've had, perhaps let her join in with the chores or set her her own task to do alone and she may just think 'yeah I've had enough of mum now' haha. It may stop her clinging to you like a limpet for just long enough to get something done =).
My mum was a student mum also, she had a really well organised day and night, she did her student work at night while kids asleep and the phone wasn't ringing constantly, university, work and childcare in the day, but the one thing she still always tells me all these years later is that it was one of the hardest times of her life and she always felt like she was a bad mum, but she definitely wasn't, she was a stressed and tired mum who was doing her best, so if you do have a bad day, just remember that you're daughter probably thinks your an amazing mum no matter how frustrated you both are =). I wish you luck for September!! ^_^
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Post by blaze on Sept 1, 2015 12:43:23 GMT
Has this been during the holidays? Then hopefully school will help. I find getting my two out in the morning means they can be left in front of cartoons or iPad puzzels for a bit in the afternoon. We often stick to kid only activities in the morning and when we have to nip through a shop as well thy do the trolleys, 'choose' what we buy, hand over the money etc which helps.
Do you have a local sure start centre? What's your hv like? At 5 you're at the top end for home start volunteer but it might be worth asking. Playful parenting, love bombing and its OK not to share are useful books for this age, and ideas to help with these behaviours, and aha parenting is a greatwebsite. The imagination tree website has lots of ideas of activities, and your local council website will have info about free activities on at parks/museums/art gallery's/libarys etc that could fill up the mornings.
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