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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2009 13:17:53 GMT
Hi everyone!
Could anyone offer me advice on this matter:
My son is undiganosed but we, as parents are aware of his ADHD symptoms. He is due to start secondary school in a year's time and he wants to go to the local all boys school. I worry that he will be subjected to bullying in the single-sex school because he is very socially immature and often upsets children of his age with inappropriate comments etc... I think a mixed school would be a better choice for him but I really don't know. I would appreciate your advice, similar experiences.... Abigail
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2009 13:39:54 GMT
i think it's better for boys to go to mixed schools. -boys may get better grades in a single-sex school, but mixed schools make them better adjusted socially, and this is really important, especially if he doesn't have sisters at home.
unfortunately bullying happens in all schools, so i don't think you can change anything by worrying it about now, just cross that bridge if you come to it.
also, are you trying to have your son diagnosed at the moment?...
-matt
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2009 13:57:14 GMT
Hi,
Our son has no brothers or sisters. Friendships are also hard for him because of his immaturity. He tends to play with younger children. (Currently plays with a 6-year-old and he is coming up to 10). I agree with you, perhaps mixed school would work out better for him. My husband is very much against having our son diagnosed because of labelling. I think our son's current primary school is aware of the issues but they never made any suggestions of extra help etc..
I cannot help worrying about his future in this competitive world..
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Post by annie on May 16, 2009 16:20:29 GMT
Hi abigail
Can't remember if I said welcome - if not welcome!
With regards to your son his move from primary to secondary, is going to put heavy demands on him - it does for all children. However for those children with adhd the demands can be so much more!
There's a huge expectation from schools that pupils will take much more responsibility for managing their own learning - the management of which children with adhd find extremely difficult. They go from having one or two teachers to having at least 8 teachers to contend with. They are expected to organise themselves to get to the right class, with the right books and the completed homework - no mean feat.
If your son does have undx adhd he is going to find this change quite challenging and you need to think about what kind of support you and the school are going to have to give him. I would suggest you talk to the SENCO (Special Needs teacher) in your school about what they can do to help prepare him and what the SENCO in the secondary school can do to make this transition less difficult for your son.
annie
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2009 15:28:59 GMT
Hi Annie,
Thanks for the advice. We will talk to the SENCO staff.
We recently wrote to the council and asked for some help at the primary school.
Abigail
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2009 10:33:32 GMT
Hi Annie,
A single-sex school didn't do me any harm, apart from not having as many oppotunities for romance! I was academically able and inattentive, so I did well in classes designed for lazy boys! Also, I found girls a huge distraction from about 16 onwards, and it's probably best I was kept away from them.
Boy's schools are more like a Scout camp than a borstal; I see no reason that your son would be more likely to be bullied or excluded in a boy's school. I actually think boys co-exist better when girls are removed from the situation. My school was a state grammar school, however, so we were a relatively sensitive, reasonable bunch and bullies were soon excluded.
It's really up to what to would suit your son best; he'll be different to me, perhaps, but if he's already made his mind up about what he wants, perhaps you should give him some credit for that. His reasons for wanting to go to a specific school may seem trivial to you (I'm guesssing here) but they warrant attention, because they'll tell you about his needs and motivations.
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2009 11:59:37 GMT
A very long time ago.......when I wert' lad (rainbows in black and white etc)
I kept changing schools.
Both single and mixed gender schools have advantages.
But I'd fall on the side of mixed for ADHDers.
Mixed brings with it a more balanced attitude and though having girls around might be a small distraction to a young male it also contributes to behavioural development.
Boys on their own can exascerbate tendancies towards impulsive and introspective conduct.
But each child is as individual as the school they attend so the admixture is comlex.
It's a minefield!
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2009 12:04:00 GMT
Hi guys,
So how do boys (at a single sex school) learn to socialize with girls? They probably don't learn these social skills if they do not meet girls on a daily basis. Or am I wrong? An occasional school disco cannot be enough...?
I worry that my son will grow up to be a shy young man if he chooses the boy's school. Perhaps with no girlfriend at all. I imagine that socialising with girls is very much part of a boy's personal and emotional development. (Even if some people say it is distractive..) Those of you who went to a single sex school, could you tell me how you see it, please.
Abigail
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2009 16:27:35 GMT
Hello again.
I admit that I was shy and introspective at school; I still am in a lot of ways. I didn't get to meet a whole lot of girls outside of school: my chequered academic record (getting good grades, but only when I was forced to do the work) meant I was grounded most of the time. Plus, being an inattentive, I was a pretty solitary lad by nature. I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 18 or 19.
But I turned out fine in the romance department. I learned to interact with girls when I was in my late teens: I soon learned that the was nothing to learn, because people are people. Of course it helped that I would rather eat brillo pads than talk about football.
I probably prefer the company of women, have loads of female friends, no trouble approaching girls or asking for dates and I've had a few very nice relationships. I've been with my present girlfriend for four years and I'm in it for the long run. I have been told a few times that I'm "punching above my weight" because I've had attractive partners.
...and NOBODY ever wanted to dance with me at the school disco.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2009 21:38:54 GMT
My daughter goes to a single-sex school. She has many friends amongst boys as well so it is not a problem for her. rainbow
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