So we all agree time out from the world and it's demands are how we cope....
I have been having panic attacks and only maybe two hours of sleep
feeling just awful throughout the working day and it's demands.
I was relieved when the ADHD nurse I saw Thursday explained that it's not my ADHD that's the problem.
For months, years I've been convinced that the ADHD was getting worse.
My mental health is getting worse because of the institutional and historical problems which are going on in my work place.
And the demands which are being unfairly placed on me by my employers.
I am vulnerable she informed me and because of this I need support.
Just recently I have felt like my whole world is crashing down on me!!!
And had thoughts that I just didn't want to and couldn't carry on.
It felt like "ADHD what a curse". She has given me some very good advice.
And for the first time in years I feel like I am not useless and unable.
I'm actually very able. I've held this whole thing together.
I've been supporting people, I've been making it alright, I've been used as their whipping post when things go wrong because they've found it easy to blame the fact I have ADHD rather than what is really going
on....So for thew first time in I can't even remember??? My mind is not racing, my stomach is not churning. A light has come on and I want to face the future!!!
I'm not scarred anymore and I want my life and the future!!!! I can leave this job and know I did everything and almost sacrificed my sanity but I did it because I am a good
person. And as she said after 11 years they wouldn't have kept me there if I was not an asset to their company. I'm experiencing a calm I haven't had for many years.