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Post by marionk on Apr 2, 2016 17:19:53 GMT
Bullies do not all grow up into nice people. A lot of them grow up into nasty adults. (I suspect that it's actually only the 'hanger ons' that grow out of it.) Their 'reasons' are entirely internal to themselves. They will sometimes find an excuse for their behaviour, but this is only so as to get support. Obviously they only pick on people that they can either upset or get into trouble. They do especially love to get their victims in trouble, this is why non physical bullying is so vile. (In case you haven't witnessed it, the bully gets off scot free and the victim - in addition to their having been bullied - is punished. "But you can't hit someone just because they call you names or take your bag, that is absolutely forbidden." ) Adult bullies have generally learned to be even more devious.
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Post by Bee on Apr 3, 2016 15:06:13 GMT
I would like to make an addition;
Bullies have the power to put you down in such a way that you can genuinely believe YOU are the problem. There might be a tiny element of truth in what they say, but with anyone who bullies you and makes you feel bad the problem is them - not you.
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Post by marionk on Apr 3, 2016 19:27:35 GMT
Interesting observation there.
With 'my' own current bully, I personally never actually believed there was any genuine grounds for complaint, but they did make me believe for a while, that someone did genuinely object.
But more generally, and indeed mine too; they are certainly very good at making other people believe their complaints are genuine/justified!!!
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merrial
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Post by merrial on Apr 18, 2016 21:34:15 GMT
Bullies get their strength from knowing they are using other people to also join their bully tactics and ostracizing the person because by now the there doesn't have to be a reason. It can be anything you do because by now everything about you is thought to be wrong and therefore you have now become the bully making their lives deliberately difficult because no matter what they have tried to to" help you conform and become like them you have not complied. And by now a lost cause they couldn't help, a useless defiant creature that no one can help and you should really just go, because they did their best with you but to no avail.
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Post by marionk on Apr 18, 2016 22:14:35 GMT
But I'm not going to go anywhere, as long as they keep it up because I am one stubborn mofo.
Which is annoying, because I would like to move somewhere with a bit more bang for my buck.
(Well, actually I might not move even if they f off, because the docs and hospitals here are still ok despite the cuts, and both me and Mum need them.)
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merrial
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 63
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Post by merrial on Apr 21, 2016 19:47:00 GMT
Good for you marionk, it is a hard road. But you have us here to inspire you to keep going. I know how difficult it is dealing with bullies. I know people say that people with ADHD can be overly sensitive but I don't believe that is always the case. Sometimes things people do are just wrong and we are the sort of people who will stand up for what we believe in when a wrong is done.
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Post by Mouse on May 8, 2016 21:12:39 GMT
But I'm not going to go anywhere, as long as they keep it up because I am one stubborn mofo. Right on !!! Behind you all the way .
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Craigj
Member's not posted much yet
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Post by Craigj on May 11, 2016 20:30:43 GMT
My dad was a bully towards me. he used to call me names/put me down to give him a "power trip"
Poor man!
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