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Post by Ishara on Apr 30, 2016 10:34:57 GMT
Ooooh! Just what I was looking for – somewhere to record what happens as I start meds. Of course, I could do this in a private space but somehow I want to share and I am very very excited - although to be frank I am often very excited I think that may go with the territory ;-)
I know that a lot of adults with ADHD have a long route to diagnosis and I suspect that I am not alone in getting a diagnosis after the issue was raised with regards to one of my children . The funny thing is with me though, that I am actually a clinical psychologist – although I have never worked with children since qualifying in fairness.
So far, on 5 mg of Ritalin, I don't feel much different – perhaps a little more whizzy, which I quite like but suspect is not quite the point. Just had a funny conversation with one of my best friends of the last 20 years. I told him that I had just got a diagnosis of adult ADHD. I have rarely seen anyone look so unsurprised in my life. He told me that he had always assumed that was the case.
Oh well, I have just got distracted from the list of things I was supposed to do three hours ago, so I suppose I might consider doing them now instead. Just tried another 5 mg – I am probably being a little impatient as this is my first day, but hey, again that rather goes with the territory, doesn't it?!
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 30, 2016 13:43:51 GMT
welcome do join the forum then you get access to all sorts of other bits. and there are no downsides to joining, as far as i'm aware
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 1, 2016 6:14:46 GMT
Day two (now got proper login)
Well, that was fun! I am not sure it is supposed to be. I took 5 mg, as instructed, and found myself having one of my Tigger days. Don't get me wrong, it was great fun – as an empirical measure, my steps counter said I did over 16,000 steps – which is quite a lot for me even at a weekend at home. I got loads done – but I am not convinced that it was done in anything other than a rather manic ADHD sort of way – wiping the worksurface and simultaneously spilling water on the robot vacuum comes to mind as an example. I definitely did not feel calmer, even though I liked the effect. It is one of the things that I like about being me, is being able to be really whizzy without taking any drugs! Of course, it does occur to me as a psychologist that it could be psychogenic – this is precisely what I feared might happen, because I get like this if I drink too much tea, let alone hard-core stimulants like Ritalin. That said, I read something whilst researching methods last night that talks about different subtypes of ADHD. I was a bit sceptical, because it all seemed a bit amateur, but there was a subtype labelled "ring of Fire" that sounded exactly like me – and didn't respond to stimulants well. Ah well, I will keep on trying – but I'm not entirely sure that Ritalin, me and Work are compatible, which is not a good sign for starters. I should say, that I was a bit naughty, and I liked it so much that I took 15 mg, instead of 10 – which is uncharacteristic for me, because usually I follow doctors orders. I can see why it is seen as potentially psychologically very addictive. On the bright side – and unexpectedly for me – I actually slept better, not worse and I had feared it would cause insomnia with me because caffeine does that big time for me if I take it after lunch time. And, I have taken it this morning already, and I think it should have kicked in by now and I don't feel anything different . Slightly disappointing, but suggests that I should persist and see what happens in the next few days. Bank holiday this Monday, luckily. I really don't think I should go to work like I was yesterday. I wanna Clee, I spend a fair bit of energy not being like that in a work environment, so the last thing I want to do is exacerbate it. Oh, by the way, I am dictating this because I have a bit of RSI – so if any of it doesn't make sense, it is Siri, and not the Ritalin!
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 3, 2016 5:25:47 GMT
Day four
Properly and officially upped dose to 10 mg twice a day yesterday – last dose at 2:30 because I forgot to take it on time ;-)
Good news – didn't seem to affect my sleep at so, which coming from me is really good. I was convinced it would because I am super sensitive to caffeine and can't drink it after about 12 without staying awake liket some kind of mad meercat wondering why I'm not sleeping .
Bad news – didn't seem to make any difference as far as I'm aware and I also had a banging headache all day. Confusingly, so that my partner though – and he wasn't taking anything! My head ache did seem to disappear around 730 pm, which would seem to tie in with the meds.
I'm now sleeping with three books in the bed (does anyone else do that?), one a light entertainment one for work and the other two on how to cope without a ADHD – Barkley and Add friendly ways to organise your life. I bought the latter a month or so ago when I started seriously contemplating the possibility that I might have adult ADHD and that it had not disappeared at the end of childhood as I thought. I have even read some of the book – out of order, obviously – mostly I have carried it round in my bag in the vague hope that I would absorb the wisdom there in by osmosis. One way of telling if the meds work as far as I'm concerned is whether I ever pick it up and finish it – it really does seem to be quite a good book, from what I've read.
Talking of light dawning, I went to a Mayfair yesterday with my two kids. My born organised 8 year old, politely asked me to pack drinks for the day and equally politely adamantly refused to get in the car until he had seen me do it because, as he kindly pointed out, " you will only forget otherwise, mum ". At one point when we were there, in a very busy field with lots of stalls, he was gently chivvying me along with the words " come on mum, don't get distracted, don't get distracted, this way! " I should add that I have not told him I have ADHD.
All I could think, with some amusement and bewilderment, was how I have managed to come this far, and have a child who has adopted a role of some kind of disability dog, and not realise! I have always felt a bit sorry for said child, living with me and his older brother – school and my consultant Think I should be taking big brother for assessment. I haven't quite decided. He already has a statement for dyslexia and I have talked to him and he doesn't want two labels. I thought that meds might help him – but I might have to think about that. It's not like he's *difficult*, just very very distracted and probably clinically hyperactive ...like his mum;-)
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 15, 2016 9:34:40 GMT
Well this week I have been taking 20 mg times three a day of mostly medikinet and latterly Tranquillyn. I know the two should pharmacologically be identical, but I also get the impression that some people experience differences. My consultant agreed to keep me on the same thing, but she forgot to put it on the script so I got something different. Not that it really matters anyway because I can't say as I have noticed any difference on anything yet. It wasn't an easy week. Wednesday I had a bit of a meltdown because I had a massive to do list and somehow got distracted, ended up doing other things. I think because I was on three doses of 20 mg, I concluded that I had no excuses and blame myself for being crap. It took a very good friend of mine to point out that a) I had three very major stressful things going on that week on top of everything else and b) I do a very stressful job and c) under the circumstances NT people do the rabbit in the headlights thing where do I start? I felt a lot better after this conversation and went out for a run in the bluebells with my meditation track. The following day I started using The 30/30 app. I have used more apps and tech than I care to mention in an attempt to organise myself so I tend to be slightly sceptical about the chance anything will make a difference. I don't know if it was novelty factor, good luck or it really works but I did have a really productive Thursday. See recipe speaking of course it could have been medication, but my subsequent experiences suggest not Friday I was intending to get through all my paperwork, didn't get started until much later than I intended, then predictably got interrupted by other work coming my way – something I really couldn't avoid. However, as high had put most of my to do list on the app, I realised that, to be realistic, I had a whole working day of things I needed to catch up with. I also realised that I do not have time to do that this week so I have no choice but to work today So far I have been really productive for Sunday morning – perhaps the medication is working finally? Or perhaps it isn't because I had a banging headache at all yesterday – both before and after I had taken medication and so I didn't take any this morning . So far I am a lot more convinced that this app is helpful to me than the meds. I am, of course, terrible at estimating time . I always think that everything will take less time than it actually does. Well, thinking about it, that may be a little harsh because some things on my to do list I seem to have estimated the time on the app quite accurately. What I really struggle with is working out the cumulative affects of all those little bits of time. I should say how the app works in case you have not come across it. It is really simple, you just enter your list of things to do and with each item you allocate a time. The thing at the top of the list can be activated and then the timer starts. This obviously gives you a sense of time passing and more of a sense of urgency to complete within the allotted time span. In addition, in a particularly helpful design in my opinion, you can set it so it adds up the cumulative time. Basically, if you started your list now, how long would it take you to get through it? I think that this could really help me be more realistic and more focused - and also trained me to be a better chance of how long things will take. I have already done some things that I do on a regular basis, and I was thinking of putting a note in Evernote to remind me that filling in form X takes so much time in reality . Anyway, I have resolved to stay on the medication 20 mg three times a day until I next talk to my consultant. She did warn me that it was a complicated process getting medication right . I imagine that it would be possible to increase my dose a bit – but it does seem pretty high to not be touching the sides. I also think that I have been somewhat more snappy than usual – I can be really angry with strangers like a cold callers et cetera but are usually hold it in with my family . Of course, it could just be a stressful week . The other possibility, of course, is dexamphetamine. I understand that they are not keen to prescribe the short acting in general but that will be the one I would want to try to begin with. I know I could try the slow release versions of mph, but I do struggle to believe that it would make any difference . Does anyone think that trying brand-name Rittling short acting would be worthwhile, it defies common sense to think that it is any different from any other name, but I believe I have heard that is the case?
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Post by marionk on May 15, 2016 18:16:35 GMT
I only get 'whizzy' when I up the dose, or when I took it again after a couple of days without. I don't think whizzy is good though, (I still remember being whizzy on Seroxat and then nothing and it being a nightmare to get off it,) and I don't really like the feeling, unless I have something to do that actually needs that amount of energy. I do think that at 40mg a day it is helping with mood and anxiety/stress though, just not the memory/concentration/distractability issues. After mph, the next thing you will probably be put on is atomoxetine/Strattera rather than dexamphetamine. The Ritalin, while it's not helping with memory, is doing what I would expect it to do, i.e. increasing available dopamine, and the gentler effects of that, do suggest strongly that I was deficient in dopamine. And I've started waffling, so I'm going to cut and paste the rest onto one of my own threads as it's not really relevant here. . . . and I just lost that post, that I'd been working on since posting this one.
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Post by contrarymary on May 15, 2016 19:20:39 GMT
Hi isharaany chance you could put some more breaks in your posts? i'd like to follow your thread but really struggle to longer posts read without spaces - it looks like a wall of text and i can't process what i see. )which i think is something some adders have in commmon with other conditions like dyslexia.)
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 15, 2016 20:55:29 GMT
Hi isharaany chance you could put some more breaks in your posts? Really sorry, CM, and thanks for saying. Would it help if I posted readable chunks, instead of war and peace streams of consciousness? ;-)
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Post by contrarymary on May 15, 2016 21:00:01 GMT
Thanks post as much or as little as you like - your thread is here for you. and if others find it helpful, or are able to help by sharing experience, that's a bonus i used to write tons and tons and then edit back later. nowadays i mostly just write what i want to get out of my head/work out in my head, and if it helps others/others want to help...
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 15, 2016 21:01:19 GMT
Thanks Marion K - I still haven't worked out how to tag people on my mobile. I am naturally whizzy- it used to bewilder me at art college when everyone tried to score speed off me - and I never took any. I love whizzy, but I could really do with being able to focus more too!
I was interested in what you said about medics going from Ritalin to Strattera, without trying dexamphetamine. Why is that? Is it because they are afraid of abuse?
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 15, 2016 21:04:45 GMT
I am sure that I have heard of people who don't benefit much from mph but find Dexamphetamine helpful?
Apart from being patient before I evaluate 20 mg three times a day *sigh*, I am not sure what my next move is.
I think I might ask to try 25 mg. it does seem like a lot, but my current dosage doesn't seem to be touching the sides and I do not appear to have much in the way of side-effects either.
The other option is simply to ask for branded Ritalin. I still cannot imagine why that would make a difference, but people seem to think that it does sometimes.
Or there is concerta - again, if fast acting doesn't work, Logic suggests to me that wouldn't – but I am not sure it is that simple?
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 15, 2016 21:12:10 GMT
I do not fancy the non-stimulants, unless I have no other choice. Like I say, I like being whizzy. I really do not want to be calm and normal - at least not all the time.
I was talking to this very interesting woman last night. Similar age to me, diagnosis of ADHD. I got the impression that for her, ADHD had brought a lot more problems than for me, mostly in terms of mood.
I don't feel like that. I can be a little volatile at times, I know, but it is not really that bad and not something I am bothered about changing. Or perhaps more to the point, not something that my loved ones are bothered about changing!
It is the Dippy forgetting stuff, not concentrating, all the rest of The disorganised chaos that I could really do without – at least during the week. At the weekends it's fine.
So, I desperately want the stimulants to work so I have something that I can choose to take or not take . I don't think I had realised this. Until you raised it for me, but I am not sure that I even want to try something I might have to take all the time.
For me, there are simply elements of ADHD that I love too much. (don't get me wrong, I do appreciate that it affects everyone differently and not everyone experiences a positive side - that's just how I see it at the moment for me).
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 15, 2016 21:50:38 GMT
Me too isharaI'm naturally whizzy. .but have found concerta has made me non-whizzy and tired. . Wasn't on IR mph long because I kept forgetting to take it. . I suffer from extreme mood swings and depression and the mph has evened it out a bit. . But, it's similar to when I was on lithium. . like everything's dampened. . Flat. . boring. . I'd love to be more focused and motivated, but didn't get that from the mph I've been on. . . Ooh . you went to art school? Me too!
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Post by smogz101 on May 16, 2016 18:23:26 GMT
how long have you been taking the 20mg x3 for ? Im thinking if you haven't seen improvements on that dose then might be time for a switch, however the extra 30mg made all the difference for me so might be worth seeing if you can increase it further first! I'm same as you with the idea of strattera, don't want to take something that takes weeks to build up and get out the system if not the right med. My 2 cousins are on that and they get headaches and sickness, i haven't heard one good review lol!
Im so much calmer on even 30mg. But concentration is just non-existant. Its maybe more obvious for me as I've had a taster of it on the 60mg lol. Is the lisdex a stimulant? I seem to be the opposite of you guys with the rushy feeling! I sometimes get a weird sensation exactly 30 mins after the first dose, but put that down to the meds just kicking in! The meds just zap my restless energy, it was the first thing I noticed on the 10mg.
As for the to do list, sometimes it just feels like a mountain to climb doesnt it. Ive had a cheque I need to cash in for a week and a half in my bag, and I'm super skint until Friday, yet even still I keep forgetting to go to the bank! Im trying a new system (advised by my uni mentor) of writing everything that needs doing on post it notes... they're all on my wall... I've done 1 of 7 so far. I have the same list on my phone, and then on the weekly planner, which I seem to stick to creating it every week but then not looking at it! I'm back to getting distracted by everything and everyone.
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 16, 2016 20:41:07 GMT
I've been on 20 mg for a week – patience is not one of my virtues. But even if it was, I would have expected to notice something by now - surely?
Thanks for the encouraging words, though. Yes, if my consultant is okay with it, I think I would like to try 25 mg . I was wondering whether to specify Ritalin, given the whole mph generics thing. I can't see why it would make a difference but if it did…
Looking on the bright side, the most salient side effect I have is appetite loss. My consultant observed that I shouldn't lose any weight – I was around nine stone. I thought to myself at the time, that's what you think Dearie, you're not going to a festival in two months time as a middle aged woman who would rather dress her shoe size than her age *lol*. I reckon I will fit into my pink sequinned evening dress and rubber trapeze artist outfits a treat now;-) and to think that I took medication to be more sensible!
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 16, 2016 20:43:20 GMT
Oh and smogz have you tried the 30/30 app? I'm too trashed to explain just now, but check it out – if you haven't come across it before, I think you might find it as helpful as I am.
It is really helping me realise that I can judge how long somethings will take some of the time, but I can probably never conceptualise how all of those things stack up. In fact, I am really extraordinarily bad at that !
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Post by smogz101 on May 16, 2016 21:28:00 GMT
Hahaha that made me laugh what festival are you going to? Im trying to get to Electric Daisy Carnival again this year but depends on the money situation. Just b careful with the weight though, I was 9.8 when I started meds and now 7.9 - it's not a good look! Have the headaches eased off? Yeah see about increasing it, you never know the extra 5mg might make all the difference - were all so different! I can't believe you've just posted that about estimating time, I've just posted in my diary section about how bad I am at it! I will check the app out now, thanks
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 19, 2016 21:35:12 GMT
Thanks for tip re weight; I've been trying to eat more since I read it :-0
Headaches? I'm all confused about them. Yes they went - all last week, completely fine on 20x3...then banging headache not taking anything sat morning, took 20mg, still headache, then nauseous, stomach ache...then boyfriend went down with it too!!!
I've had it all week. He's quite a bit better, but I'm still feeling raf, I'm pretty sure it isn't meds because he's ill and doesn't make any difference if I take Ritalin or not...but bit confusing!!
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 21, 2016 11:08:46 GMT
I reckon bf is right- we've somehow both got sinusitis or something. Not nice.
Anyway, despite my commitment to take 3x20 religiously and evaluate, feeling rough got in the way. I have taken 2x20mg most days - no difference.
I was trying to be good...but then I read something written by a medic on additude saying that adults could go up 5mg a day and be titrated in a week. I didn't think that was a good idea either, but it was what I wanted to hear..;-)
So I tried 25mg this morning. No headache, no nothing. 30mg four hours later. Despite taking anticongestants which are supposed to give you a 'mild unpleasant buzz' when taken with mph , I feel nothing either way.
So... New self imposed plan is to try 30mg X 3 a day, take my blood pressure regularly and monitor any therapeutic impact. Anyone know an app for that?
The agreement with my consultant was for 20mgx3 times- but I'm not talking to her for a week; it's my last scheduled phone call (i Will Of course pay for more if I need to) and I'd really like to have a sense of whether mph is for me or not by then.
On the bright side, I talked to my adorable gp on the phone yesterday and yes, if and when I get dosage sorted, he's happy to prescribe and yes,if I want to officially tell him my dx (currently It's off the record), he'd refer me out of county for specialist oversight of meds/calibration to preserve my confidentiality. Thing is I reckon that could take months (dx will be a priority, not titration I suspect) and I remember what happened to you, vague and random.
Any thoughts people? Am I being silly to up myself? I got the impression last time that a) my consultant couldn't remember what she said and b) she sort of expected me to do this..;-)
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Post by marionk on May 21, 2016 15:19:19 GMT
I was a bit scared of continuously raising the dose, without knowing if I was getting addicted to it, so I went a couple of days without before I went up to 2x30mg.
Not suggesting you do the same, it's entirely up to you, just letting you know that, for me, the first day without was pretty much the same as when taking it, but the second day I was getting morose and stressy, no crashing thoughts of suicide, just my normal pre-mph self.
So I figured if that's all I got after two days of nothing after being on* 40mg a day, I'd easily be able to step down gradually from a higher dose if needed.
I do like the more relaxed me, but it's not doing anything for my ADD per se.
*edit: substituted 'after being on' for 'from'
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 22, 2016 12:45:48 GMT
Thanks Marion – that's really useful.
I didn't take anything for a while this morning just out of curiosity really. I felt really twitchy and stressy – but sort of thought that actually I am like this a lot, I just don't really notice because it's normal for me.
I took 25 m grams and oh, well, I am still twitching and stressy. I am going to try to monitor it all more rigourously so I have some data to discuss with my consultant in a weeks time . I definitely see no point continuing on 20 mg three times a day as there is no evidence that it helps at all.
Right now, the thing that has helped me more than anything has been the 30/30 app. As I think I noted, it turns out my estimation of how long things are going to take is not that bad – if I don't get distracted – but I have no idea whatsoever how those things all add up and therefore how to organise my time.... Despite absolutely years of trying to do so effectively.
Seeing it through an ADHD frame is pretty helpful for me.
I came across bugger forgotten the name- emergent task planning. Trying to work out how to do that with Trillo and 30/30. Still haven't booked that holiday!
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 22, 2016 18:22:12 GMT
And another thing… Has anyone noticed how badly and impaired working memory and distractibility go together? I find that I think I must do something – so I know I will forget, so then I go and write it down. This is obviously distracting in itself, but also half the time, I get distracted before I've written it down And I've forgotten – which really confuses me and makes it hard to go back to whatever it was I was trying to do in the first place.
I am not entirely convinced that this has not got worse since I've been taking medication. It's hard to say because I am noticing things more, but then of course if things were always fine I wouldn't have thought I had a problem in the first place so I could just be noticing things more .
Oh, and it goes without saying that I do not actually write things down – I couldn't read my writing and I would lose the paper – I put it in an app. But I still have to remember what it is I'm going to put in a nap before I forget it.
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 24, 2016 10:53:48 GMT
Haha! Forgot I was talking to consultant this week, not next!
Anyway, it's all good. She suggested trying 30mg X 3 a day before giving up on the Ritalin- which was exactly what I wanted to do.
With the help of the excellent medisafe app (thanks @adhddude!), I might have a hope of Remembering to take medication and monitoring impact on BP, mood, concentration etc
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Post by marionk on May 25, 2016 8:09:37 GMT
And another thing… Has anyone noticed how badly and impaired working memory and distractibility go together? I find that I think I must do something – so I know I will forget, so then I go and write it down. This is obviously distracting in itself, but also half the time, I get distracted before I've written it down And I've forgotten – which really confuses me and makes it hard to go back to whatever it was I was trying to do in the first place. I frequently find that simply thinking 'I must write that down' is enough to make me forget what it was that I remembered. Or simply going to e.g. the fridge to fetch something, I will have forgotten what I was going to get by the time I get there, sometimes just turning around will do it!
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 27, 2016 10:14:48 GMT
So, after a week on 30 mg three times today have i noticed the difference? er.... No.
A couple of my close colleagues at work thought that I was a bit calmer and I thought this was a good sign. (They know I am trying Ritalin). Unfortunately, it was only afterwards that I realised that I wasn't on medication at that point *lol*
So I thought I would experiment with not taking it for three days, not telling anyone I wasn't taking it and then asking people if I seemed any different.
Okay, so clearly it is not a double-blind trial but I think it will be interesting.
I cannot help feeling that you take a fairly serious medication such as Ritalin you really need a good reason and if the impact is so subtle you are unsure if it is working, but does not feel like a good reason.
I would be interested to know what other people think and have experienced.
Funnily enough, recent diagnosis, being female, and higher education of all factors that predict discontinuation of meds....
Anyway, my consultant says if this does not work, we can try dexamphetamine and I think that is sensible.
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ishara
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Post by ishara on May 27, 2016 10:16:04 GMT
Out of interest, is anyone out there on 35 mg X 3 or heard of anyone who is?
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 27, 2016 11:40:54 GMT
Hi ishara I've been off my meds for about a month now and feel a lot better. . like I own my own brain. . . HOWEVER. . .these past few days I've been particularly hyperactive and I'm not getting much sleep. . but I don't care. . . I quite like it, but realise that I haven't been like this on meds. . .I like being overexcited!! This is why I was dx as bipolar. . .hyper for a while, then depressed for a while. . .sometimes both at the same time. . . but I don't have delusions. . I'm on the edge of control. . . I'm seeing 'the psych who can prescribe ADHD meds' in 2 weeks, so I'll see if I can try something else (not mph) which might help my focus. . How's it going?
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Post by marionk on May 27, 2016 21:06:04 GMT
So, after a week on 30 mg three times today have i noticed the difference? er.... No. A couple of my close colleagues at work thought that I was a bit calmer and I thought this was a good sign. (They know I am trying Ritalin). Unfortunately, it was only afterwards that I realised that I wasn't on medication at that point *lol* So I thought I would experiment with not taking it for three days, not telling anyone I wasn't taking it and then asking people if I seemed any different. Okay, so clearly it is not a double-blind trial but I think it will be interesting. I cannot help feeling that you take a fairly serious medication such as Ritalin you really need a good reason and if the impact is so subtle you are unsure if it is working, but does not feel like a good reason. I would be interested to know what other people think and have experienced. Funnily enough, recent diagnosis, being female, and higher education of all factors that predict discontinuation of meds.... Anyway, my consultant says if this does not work, we can try dexamphetamine and I think that is sensible. I find that it takes a lot longer to wear off than I've seen anyone else report. 40 mg took over 24 hours, 20mg is gone by evening. You say you weren't on meds when your colleague's said you were calmer,. Do you mean that was before May? I'm surprised your consultant is putting you onto dex next though. The NICE guidlines say Strattera (atomoxetine) next afaicr. Personally I'd rather try lisdexamfetamine next but I will give Strattera a chance. (My consultant is sorting out a prescription through my GP's.)
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