|
Post by JOgeah on May 16, 2016 15:33:55 GMT
Hi all!
I'm new here, so firstly I'd like to say that I'm so glad to have found this forum.
I'm a 25 year old female waiting to get screened for adult ADD.
What prompted this was the fact that I have been fired from two jobs in the past two months due to inattentiveness, missed deadlines and generally just making really silly mistakes.
The thing is within the last six months a lot has changed. I've been freelance writing for about a year now. Things started off well. Within the first two months I gained three new clients and I was making a decent amount of money. I was living at my mother's at the time. She's suffers from manic depression so she's been hospitalized. And I was contributing to rent. But then when all of those contracts ended, I started having financial problems and could no longer help with rent... so was evicted. I was staying at a friends place for about three months while temping to pay back debts/rent. Then I was offered a great permanent copywriting job which had taken three interviews for me to get. Two and a half weeks later I was fired... then I had to move out of my friends and into my sisters place - which she was not happy about. A week later I was offered a temp to perm writing job. I thought it would be my dream job and a fresh start for me. I was so excited and anxious to start. But when I started it wasn't as great as I thought it would be... I wasn't writing anything I found remotely interesting. And the topics I did find interesting were assigned to someone else. Which is probably why I wasn't paying attention. I wasn't concentrating on the little details and kept missed deadlines. Plus my writing was pretty bad - which I must say was a first! Two weeks later I got fired from that job. I have had problems with depression in the past and recent events weren't really helping, so I just assumed that that was the main cause towards my lack of focus - as well as the fact that I wasn't enjoying the work. I was also starting to feel very hopeless and suicidal, so my friend advised that I get help. So I went to see my GP and told him everything. He suspects that I don't only have depression, but I may have inattentive ADD, as I told him that my lack of focus has always been an issue for me and has effected my relationships with boyfriends and family, finances, studies and work etc. He referred to see a specialist and my first assessment/screening starts next week. I feel a little relieved to know what the issue might be and that I can learn to get my life back on track. But career wise, I feel so discouraged. I haven't heard back from any employers or recruiters and I'm thinking of quitting writing all together out of fear that I'll mess up. I might just temp or get a retail job until I figure out what to do with myself... my family don't want to support me emotionally as they think I just need to learn to focus more. My mind is really foggy at the moment. It's weird because writing is a passion of mine so I never expected to get fired from a dream job. Even if I wasn't writing about a topic I found interesting. I only thought that would happen with a role I have no interest in. Which is why I'm considering a career change. Sorry for rambling on - my question is has anybody else been fired from their dream job or a job they liked or had a stalled career because of ADHD? How did you handle it? I feel so lost at the moment and need to know how to fix everything. Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks guys!
|
|
|
Post by clubby on May 18, 2016 14:05:32 GMT
Definitely stalled my career, probably for about 30 years.
Its never too late to get going once you figure out what's wrong
I can tell you, 30 days of getting it right is worth the 30 year wait.
The information on all the disorders is so much better these days.
Keep at it and all the best.
|
|
alien
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 76
|
Post by alien on May 18, 2016 14:09:12 GMT
Hey. Just wanted to say hang in there @jogeah. I'll try to write a proper response when I've more time.
|
|
|
Post by Babble on May 18, 2016 15:26:47 GMT
Being cheeking and tagging contrarymary, as she's a goddess who uses her magic abilities to break big scary blocks of text down into paragraphs for people with idle eyes (like me) (Apologies if I'm being too cheeky there)
|
|
|
Post by contrarymary on May 19, 2016 17:29:54 GMT
Hi all! I'm new here, so firstly I'd like to say that I'm so glad to have found this forum. I'm a 25 year old female waiting to get screened for adult ADD. What prompted this was the fact that I have been fired from two jobs in the past two months due to inattentiveness, missed deadlines and generally just making really silly mistakes. The thing is within the last six months a lot has changed. I've been freelance writing for about a year now. Things started off well. Within the first two months I gained three new clients and I was making a decent amount of money. I was living at my mother's at the time. She's suffers from manic depression so she's been hospitalized. And I was contributing to rent. But then when all of those contracts ended, I started having financial problems and could no longer help with rent... so was evicted. I was staying at a friends place for about three months while temping to pay back debts/rent. Then I was offered a great permanent copywriting job which had taken three interviews for me to get. Two and a half weeks later I was fired... then I had to move out of my friends and into my sisters place - which she was not happy about. A week later I was offered a temp to perm writing job. I thought it would be my dream job and a fresh start for me. I was so excited and anxious to start. But when I started it wasn't as great as I thought it would be... I wasn't writing anything I found remotely interesting. And the topics I did find interesting were assigned to someone else. Which is probably why I wasn't paying attention. I wasn't concentrating on the little details and kept missed deadlines. Plus my writing was pretty bad - which I must say was a first! Two weeks later I got fired from that job. I have had problems with depression in the past and recent events weren't really helping, so I just assumed that that was the main cause towards my lack of focus - as well as the fact that I wasn't enjoying the work. I was also starting to feel very hopeless and suicidal, so my friend advised that I get help. So I went to see my GP and told him everything. He suspects that I don't only have depression, but I may have inattentive ADD, as I told him that my lack of focus has always been an issue for me and has effected my relationships with boyfriends and family, finances, studies and work etc. He referred to see a specialist and my first assessment/screening starts next week. I feel a little relieved to know what the issue might be and that I can learn to get my life back on track. But career wise, I feel so discouraged. I haven't heard back from any employers or recruiters and I'm thinking of quitting writing all together out of fear that I'll mess up. I might just temp or get a retail job until I figure out what to do with myself... my family don't want to support me emotionally as they think I just need to learn to focus more. My mind is really foggy at the moment. It's weird because writing is a passion of mine so I never expected to get fired from a dream job. Even if I wasn't writing about a topic I found interesting. I only thought that would happen with a role I have no interest in. Which is why I'm considering a career change. Sorry for rambling on - my question is has anybody else been fired from their dream job or a job they liked or had a stalled career because of ADHD? How did you handle it? I feel so lost at the moment and need to know how to fix everything. Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks guys! hello jogeah reposting your post with a few breaks to make it a bit easier to read. some addhers struggle to understand long chunks of writing: it looks like a wall of text and we can't process it. contrarily, we also write long posts - a brain dump clears our minds and gets us thinking straight. thank God for the edit button - my best friend. Welcome. Make yourself at home PS Babble - not cheeky at all. Glad to dust off a small superpower; gives me a sense of achievement in the midst of a busy week and a pesky virus
|
|
|
Post by Babble on May 20, 2016 11:42:54 GMT
Thank you contrarymary! Hope you're feeling better Sorry you've been having a rough time of it Jogeah. It's a shame your friends/family haven't been understanding, but hopefully with a diagnosis they'll let up a little. I know it's hard, but don't feel too discouraged. I think one of the main things I had to learn when I figured out the ADD thing, was to be kind to myself. I have a tendency, when something goes wrong, to automatically assume I'm the problem - and it's true that sometimes it is my fault, either because I can't concentrate or I forgot something. But people make mistakes all the time, and whatever happens because of it, they get past it. The world goes on. What I'm trying to say is, don't automatically assume that it's because of you that you're having trouble finding work. The job market is rough as hell at the moment (after getting my degree I was on the dole for a year, and after I did my Masters degree, again I was on the dole for about a year before I finally got a job). Freelance writing is even tougher to get into, or so I hear. Stick with what you love. If you're struggling with finances, maybe compromise and get a part time job in another sector, but don't give up on the freelancing. You might find with proper help with the ADD, and the understanding of others (can't tell you how much of a blessing this forum is), you struggle less. And learning you have ADD is a great starting block - you know what you're up against now, so you can start finding ways to work with and around the ADD. Speaking from personal experience - my interest (and consequently my degree) is in environmental health, my passion is in writing - if you give up now, you'll regret it for a long time. It was always my dream to be a novelist, but my goal (aka my sensible plan) was to work in environmental health and write in my spare time. I've achieved neither. I set my foot on the admin career path (family pressure/finances/boredom), and now I'm finding it incredibly difficult to hop off onto a different path. I'm too exhausted at the end of the day to put much effort into job hunting. I don't have the time to get much (if any) writing done. There's a lot a reasons behind my choices (not good ones, a number of them linked to ADD) that are too extensive and boring to get into here, but I'm now stuck in a rut, and frankly depressed as hell. This is purely my perspective and opinion though - not necessarily applicable to you. Take from this what you will, but I hope something in this mess helps anyway. In conclusion (because if I don't end what contrarymary aptly describes as a 'brain dump' now, I'll never stop), it hurts when you mess up, because you care about what you're doing, and what you're doing is worthwhile. Don't let the fear of failure push you into doing something you don't enjoy. As Samuel Beckett so wisely said: Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
|
|
|
Post by clubby on May 20, 2016 15:44:40 GMT
Oh Babble. I understand your predicament so well. I am in admin too and I am stuck down a horrible hole, partly because legislation and admin have gone bonkers and partly because I have discovered I am dyslexic and it takes me twice as long as anyone else to do paperwork. It is a triple whammy because I am self employed and can't just walk away. If I had know 30 years ago what I know now I wouldn't have touched admin with a barge pole. I would recommend anyone with adhd or other comorbid difficulties to make sure that the career path you choose is kind to your situation and something that you love.
|
|
|
Post by Sherlock on May 24, 2016 11:42:50 GMT
Yes i had a breakdown, quit my job and have been unemployed for the last 3years,
I have recovered to an extent, but have developed a phobia of working and performance anxiety among social anxiety. Im working on it
|
|
|
Post by shiningbright on May 25, 2016 7:46:48 GMT
I just read your post (thank you contarymary for the breakdown - much easier).
I'm 27 and I don't have a career either. My career is my family but that's partly cos I wouldn't be able to focus in a work setting for long. All my voluntary j lbs I've had in the past (ive had loads) all ended in me leaving or being asked to leave due to difficulties focusing. Once I get used to each new role the challenge is gone and it's hard to focus cos it's becomes so repetitive. I've tried so many different subjects and done loads of courses in colleges and such. I am hoping to go into my own business but I'll be doing that in a risk free way, for me, by my mister being the one in charge and me doing the stuff in the background. I kni w that after the first year if I'm lucky I'll struggle to focus or do. But it's our prayer that by then my oh can quit his job and take over mine so I can go back to being a homekeeper which is my preference (even if I'm not very good at it lol )
I'm only telling you this so you can see that A you're in no way alone in thi s and B there are alternatives and options.
May I ask what your hobbies/interests are? It might be worth while finding work in an area that will capture and maintain your focus - e.g. for example if I had the money I would open a sweet shop selling artisan chocolates lol. But opening a school, our current business aim, is enough for me as all the different subjects and activities will keep me interested for a little while (here's hoping).
I do recommend going into business for yourself if you can- that way you have more control over how things are managed rather then having to fit into social work norms that are tricky with add/adhd
|
|
|
Post by Bee on May 27, 2016 14:12:19 GMT
I'm 26 and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up I fell into housekeeping at a care home several years ago, they took me on with no experience, and it was a job. I stayed on housekeeping for a couple of years, and then moved onto care around 2 years ago. People keep telling me I ought to be a nurse. So now I'm looking into it. I don't have a particular yearning to be a nurse but I think it would probably suit me.. Anyway, the big problem is all the book learning. I'm scared of it. At the moment I'm trying to get on with an NVQ and it's a bit of a nightmare! The idea of doing something that requires MORE book learning makes me sad. SO. Do I press on, and pay loads and loads (please don't mention loans to me) and hope I can get my head into gear and do it? Or do I sit around and wait for something else to happen? I honestly feel that if it weren't for the ADHD I could be training as a nurse by now.
|
|
ananse
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 73
|
Post by ananse on May 27, 2016 22:16:34 GMT
The first ten years or so of grown-up life, I didn't work at all. I couldn't at all grasp the concept of it. What's 'work'? How do I get 'work'? What 'work' am I supposed to do? Then I became desperate. I really should be 'working', shouldn't I? And I tried miscellaneous occupations, none of them even close to being permanent.
Then I got myself educated and I thought, now I'm into the system! Not really, more like many years chasing single hours of... 'work'. Always the same. I seemed to have talent for this particular field but I never performed sufficiantly.
And there is something strange about that guy, isn't it...?
'We'd really like to keep you, but because of circumstances... Well, you know... Situation in society, our organisation, cut-downs, hard times, tough shit. Nothing personal you know, but we have no other option than employing this other guy without education, without driver's license, without professional experience - or any experience of anything whatsoever. This 19 year old kid, you've probably met him, still living with his parents, no children to feed. You know'.
'Yes, of course, great guy! No big deal. Really. Just call me once in a while when you're totally desperate, and I'll drive 75 kilometers to work some three hours! You can always count on this one!'
'Well... That's the thing, you know... We won't really call you any more'.
'No no, of course not. I fully understand. I'll keep searching. Happy to help anyone anywhere desperate enough'.
'Glad to hear you understand! If ever you apply for some other job, you may always mention us for a reference. Naturally we won't recommend you if they call, you understand that much, don't you? Any way, don't hesitate refering to us if needed'.
'No not at all, sir! I mean yes, sir, of course, sir! No, sir! Happy to hear, sir!'
|
|
|
Post by shiningbright on May 28, 2016 9:07:50 GMT
It's hard sometimes. Nts seem to find their place in society so easily.
For us it takes some creative thinking on our and our employers part.
|
|
mtb79
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 32
|
Post by mtb79 on May 31, 2016 7:42:50 GMT
I will be honest, I skip most posts which are beyond 3 paragraphs long.
But in answer to the thread title, totally. My IQ is beyond where I have found myself job wise, I am labeled an underachiever who gets bored with the mundane aspects of jobs, so I fall behind with the 'housekeeping' aspects of my role. So I get in trouble for that. I think it's thought that I am lazy with an attitude problem.
I really want a career, but I don't seem able to progress, all my friends have now got successful careers and are financially stable and I am scratching a living in a basic admin job despite being the most intelligent of my group.
It's frustrating.
|
|
|
Post by tigger2016 on Jun 1, 2016 12:45:52 GMT
I know this is true of me. I manage to do my job which is stimulating and reasonably well paid, but to take the next step needs someone with more organisation.
I was thinking today about a job I applied for a couple of years ago for a big step up. I ticked all the right boxes for the person spec. Thing was I needed two referees. I'd been in my current job for 7 years at that time so my previous supervisor wasn't going to be relevant, but as it stated I needed two separate referees I put the name of my past one down.
I didn't get on with my last supervisor. This was a real personality clash: she is abrasive, fastidious, organised. Me, well, I'm easy going, sloppy, chaotic (well, duh!). She replied in a very uppity way that she would find it difficult having not known me for years and that she needed to know which job it was. In the end I thought I'd wing it and not mention her in the application after all, just mentioning two referees from my present place. I had, however, let slip which job I was applying for.
Fast forward several weeks and I didn't get an interview. I should have as I met every criteria that was required, but I heard nothing. I tried once to get a reason why I didn't, but the person I needed to speak to wasn't in their office when I phoned. I suspect my previous supervisor may have put a spanner in the works once she knew what I had in mind (this may be me being paranoid, but it is a very small profession where everyone does know everyone else). Thing was, I was too worried to find out why I didn't get an interview as it would confirm I was incompetent. I mean, I'd have good reason to raise a serious grievance if a former employer had contacted the place I was applying for a new job to scupper my chances without being formally approached for a reference, but I was too bothered about being "found out" if I got a reason. I think there was also an element of being scared of the responsibilty the new job would have heaped on me and if I got the post.
|
|
|
Post by thinkaholic on Jun 5, 2016 16:00:33 GMT
I've never had a car, but I do have 2 ears.
|
|
|
Post by Olrick on Jun 5, 2016 17:47:48 GMT
everything is so painfully boring, our minds are deprived of stimulation (dopamine etc)
which. cognitively and subconciously ,leads me to frantically scan and scan my enviroment ,crying for something to grab my attention and stimulate , and be soothed with the ability to focus
but nothing in my enviroments going to make much difference and am trapped with internal restlessness ,obviously the problem is biological.
so a 24/7 issue like this its understandable im not on the.same level as everyone else my brain wont chill so im allways out of kilter with everything and everyone around me,
ive been out of work for 4years , its no fun, trying to think of a solution is very difficult
|
|
|
Post by shiningbright on Jun 6, 2016 0:19:51 GMT
> olrick snap lol. The world is full of suchamazing things that can iinterest usso much more then our boring work. Especially when said work is repeative or confining.
> thinkaholic it took me a moment to get your joke (had to re-read a couple times) but Iince I did I was laughing and wondering why I didn't get it at first read lol :-)
|
|
mrm
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 5
|
Post by mrm on Jun 7, 2016 9:27:45 GMT
Definitely stalled my career, probably for about 30 years. Its never too late to get going once you figure out what's wrong I can tell you, 30 days of getting it right is worth the 30 year wait. The information on all the disorders is so much better these days. Keep at it and all the best. New here but I'm about the same. I'm pushing 40 and have a history of going from unskilled job to job for the first few years of my adult life. Evenutally ended up on the dole. No qualifications. No motivation etc. Been there ever since and utterly hate it. About 4 years ago, I managed to find some motivation and inner strength. Not being one for people I pushed myself through adult eduacation and took on 3 college courses at the same time. English, Maths and an Access to HE course. Passed all 3 and started to come out of my shell but by the time I got to Uni I'd burned out and couldn't cope. I started buckling under all the responsibilities. Uni work, bills, home life. I lasted about 2 months and had to give up. It didn't help I had the council on my back being awkward about coming off benefits and calculating what I'd have to pay. They stalled, made mistakes lost info etc which put me in arrears. At one point I ended up where they wouldn't tell me how much I needed to pay or what I needed to pay and kept piling the arrears up to the point I started getting letters threatening eviction. That was the last straw. I quit. My plan was to get a first degree in IT, then into an apprenticeship or work for a few years to get some experience and then move my family abroad with a skilled work visa somewhere. Almost made it LOL Sadly, because I quit Uni I now owe almost £16,000 to SF and the Uni in bursaries, grants etc all wanting them back ASAP That little adventure actually set me back mentally by quite a bit. I'm only really just coming to terms with it now. I was really annoyed and bitter about having to give it all up for a long time after.
|
|
|
Post by Olrick on Jun 7, 2016 14:29:30 GMT
mrm im really sorry to hear that, i hope you find a financial solution , i.cant give any advice on that matter, unfortunatley.
but there must be a way to get it cleared under disability, if not ,thats definitley an issue that needs to be raised with parliament,
either that or move abroad.
debt is no fun , for anyone, which is why id be shit scared of having a mortgage, become unemployed and youl be out star gazing,
i feel for ya buddy, i know that struggle, you put everything into bettering your life and prooving it to yourself,
i went into professional chefing and managed to do so for 5years eventually blew a gasket,
my boss told me i have talent,
but my issues organising my thoughts from adhd made the heightend stress eventually unbearable.
i was on antidepressants and didnt even go and sign on, i was fortunate enough to have some savings, if only for a while,
im now on the brew and living in council accomodation and i too hate it, what drives me mad is all the hate or percieved hate you get from living off the state,
the bankers ( rant for another day) and our politicians appear to me as a regime with a nazis ideology ,the past few years theyve been out to bad mark anyone not working,as lazy scroungers.
disabled or not, anyone not working was branded with the same coat of paint,people had to proove how disabled they where, so for a diagnoses of adhd ,
which.everyone is an expert on lol so ive absolutley no hope for dla.
at least you know, you had the courage and backbone to change your life and your families, its not easy when your crippled with adhd, u have my respect
i used to think i must be a complete moron but realised adhd has nothing to do with intelligence(i had my iq tested and scored 135 i know theyre really a load of bsh#t but it made me feel better) its just one of those things we deal with, but its a real son of a bitch i know
hope you get sorted
|
|