Post by shiningbright on May 23, 2016 23:45:21 GMT
Hi, I'm undiagnoised suppected adhd/add (most likely of the inattentive type), but I have no ntection of seeking diagnosis in the future. It might, however, be nice to join discussion with other facing similar daily struggles as myself, if only for the benefit of easing my loneliness.
The inside of my head is my favourite place to be and I love the person that I am, that I have become. I remeber my youth, where I faced much trauma inside and outside of school, and I'm quite certain that had I been as attentive in general life as people expected me to be I'm not sure I'd have made in through my teens. My mind was my safe space and I became so self aware that I developed a great interest in psychology, philosophy and education.
I could write a novel on my life, my history and how it's shaped me and how my brain works. But I'll not bore anyone with that.
I always suspected that I had mild autism when I was growing up but was never tested, now it's more likely that I'd be classed at ADHD or ADD if I was to be assessed. Which I don't plan to be. Not because I don't see the value of assistance as and if needed (I'm not proud, if I need help then I'll ask for it - or I'll try too anyway). But because I think that in my case, the label of having a 'disorder' would be unhelpful.
A couple of things about me:
A - I don't think that ADHD exists in the way it is commonly seen too. I'm not saying it's not a real, I'm saying that I don't think it's a disorder or an illness. I'm not saying that it's not a struggle, and there will be those who would really benefit from helpful drugs but that's not me. I am not broken, I simply have a unique view of the world.
B - My crazy, twister brain is my greatest tool and asset. I can create a curriculum from scratch in less then two weeks (if I get the time to focus that is - I'm a mum now it's harder to find the time for my mind). But it can take me weeks to clean the house. Not bit by bit, but that I don't seem to get around to it and then boom - all of a sudden it's all I can think of and the place is spotless withing half a day (followed by a great sleep lol). My imagine can still surprise even myself, I love it (most of the time).
C - I am deeply religious and I believe that my mind is as much a gift from God as it is trial.
D - I've never met any of you, I likely never will, but I love all of you and pray for the best for all of you.
E - when I crash, I crash hard - tears, self doubt the whole lot. But my husband is great, he doesn't know anything about ADHD/ADD/etc, all he knows is I'm a woman who he loves and will support and that is more precious to me then anything. And my 3 yr old son is amazing, more useful then a to do list - he alwasy reminds me that I need to clean (I can get so caught up in my 'work'). I have my fears and insecurities, but I try not to think of them because if I do then I know I'll worry about things I don't really need too - whats the point of hurting myself with thoughts that won't help anything but will just bring me down - especially when I can't doubt that I am loved, that is enough for me.
F - I'm a very simple person (with a not so simple internal structure) - I know my limitations and if when I exceed those that I struggle.
So that's a basic view of me - I think my friend was on here for me a couple days ago and talked about me, so my history will likely be in her posts knowing her (she's sweet and I don't mind being talked about - better the truth be spoken behind my back then a rumor). I come across as social but I'm quite shy so I'm not in the wrong place, if my posts won't be wanted then I can leave, people only have to ask/say. I listen.
Many thanks and God bless.
The inside of my head is my favourite place to be and I love the person that I am, that I have become. I remeber my youth, where I faced much trauma inside and outside of school, and I'm quite certain that had I been as attentive in general life as people expected me to be I'm not sure I'd have made in through my teens. My mind was my safe space and I became so self aware that I developed a great interest in psychology, philosophy and education.
I could write a novel on my life, my history and how it's shaped me and how my brain works. But I'll not bore anyone with that.
I always suspected that I had mild autism when I was growing up but was never tested, now it's more likely that I'd be classed at ADHD or ADD if I was to be assessed. Which I don't plan to be. Not because I don't see the value of assistance as and if needed (I'm not proud, if I need help then I'll ask for it - or I'll try too anyway). But because I think that in my case, the label of having a 'disorder' would be unhelpful.
A couple of things about me:
A - I don't think that ADHD exists in the way it is commonly seen too. I'm not saying it's not a real, I'm saying that I don't think it's a disorder or an illness. I'm not saying that it's not a struggle, and there will be those who would really benefit from helpful drugs but that's not me. I am not broken, I simply have a unique view of the world.
B - My crazy, twister brain is my greatest tool and asset. I can create a curriculum from scratch in less then two weeks (if I get the time to focus that is - I'm a mum now it's harder to find the time for my mind). But it can take me weeks to clean the house. Not bit by bit, but that I don't seem to get around to it and then boom - all of a sudden it's all I can think of and the place is spotless withing half a day (followed by a great sleep lol). My imagine can still surprise even myself, I love it (most of the time).
C - I am deeply religious and I believe that my mind is as much a gift from God as it is trial.
D - I've never met any of you, I likely never will, but I love all of you and pray for the best for all of you.
E - when I crash, I crash hard - tears, self doubt the whole lot. But my husband is great, he doesn't know anything about ADHD/ADD/etc, all he knows is I'm a woman who he loves and will support and that is more precious to me then anything. And my 3 yr old son is amazing, more useful then a to do list - he alwasy reminds me that I need to clean (I can get so caught up in my 'work'). I have my fears and insecurities, but I try not to think of them because if I do then I know I'll worry about things I don't really need too - whats the point of hurting myself with thoughts that won't help anything but will just bring me down - especially when I can't doubt that I am loved, that is enough for me.
F - I'm a very simple person (with a not so simple internal structure) - I know my limitations and if when I exceed those that I struggle.
So that's a basic view of me - I think my friend was on here for me a couple days ago and talked about me, so my history will likely be in her posts knowing her (she's sweet and I don't mind being talked about - better the truth be spoken behind my back then a rumor). I come across as social but I'm quite shy so I'm not in the wrong place, if my posts won't be wanted then I can leave, people only have to ask/say. I listen.
Many thanks and God bless.