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Post by northnmunki on May 27, 2016 13:04:41 GMT
Just been told I won't be seen/diagnosed until next APRIL - I WAS ASSESSED LAST F***ING AUGUST!!!!! Seriously, this is driving me crazy. I'm desperate to be seen so i can start getting some order in my life but no one gives a rats ass!
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ananse
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 73
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Post by ananse on May 27, 2016 21:44:45 GMT
There's one thing I've been thinking a lot about lately: They really don't know what this is about.
They can see it as psychiatry maybe: 'I understand you're feeling bad not being able to rest'. Or like something strictly behavioral: 'Yes, you have a hard time controlling your emotions'. From that perspective it's easy telling someone to wait another few months. 'We'll take care of you in time, just be patient'. The fact that you've been living with this condition all your life may even be held against you. You've managed to stay away from antisocial behavior and drugs, you have work, family, etc... Seems like you know how to handle things! And it will be even easier with medical treatment. All things in its own time. Be patient. You do have a problem with inhibition as you know, and you probably know somewhere deep down that this isn't exactly an emergent case. You may be feeling bad but you've handled this all your life - just handle it for another few months.
For some reason it really feels like an emergency situation. Like I'm about to collapse, like my life is falling apart. Like anything can happen any day. Tomorrow some thing may happen so that I lose my employment, then things can go very fast downwards. Within a month I may have become so exhausted that I will no longer be able to take care of my children, then there won't be much left in my life.
And yes, they understand, don't they? They understand feeling bad, but I haven't ever had any mental health issues so far, it won't likely happen now all of a sudden. Have patience, just have some more patience, we're working on it.
Thing is: I'm not talking about an emotional crash, but an actual one. Lack of intellectual stimulance makes me lose cognitive function, I can't rest myself out of this situation. On the other hand, resting is the only activity I have enough energy for. I cut down on everything to save energy, but this also means losing functioning that I'm not sure I'll ever get back. Yes, this it what it's about. It's not negative emotional patterns, not a feeling of doom. It's rational fear of doom. There is an actual risk that I lose all I have. Tomorrow or next month. I know from experience how fast things can turn.
Medication is not a matter of emotional health, but grasping for the last straw. I can handle things, yes. I've been a clever girl all my life and handled things. Even if my home may have been a mess, I've survived. It's just that it consumes hugh amounts of energy... My working memory isn't necessarily impaired, but it has a hundred times more information to process than a normal working memory. As long as there is energy, everything is more or less fine. But what if there's no energy left? And what if there's no feeding of new energy? Be patient, we can't raise too fast... Well maybe there's no alternative? Maybe every single day actually counts?
And every time I visit the psychos, there's some form they want me to fill. About mental health, for statistics. Do you have any feelings of... etc. To see if there's any improvement since first visit. Please... I'm not here to treat my emotional life - I'm not sick, I'm just totally COOCOO!!
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Post by marionk on May 28, 2016 8:11:31 GMT
Hi northnmunki, I wanted to reply to your post yesterday, but was lost for words. Still am really. Have you tried PALS? ananse Yes, what is the obsession with feelings? I could write an essay, but I have other things to do.
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ananse
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 73
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Post by ananse on May 28, 2016 8:14:56 GMT
I don't think I'm obsessed with feelings, my point is that healthcare seems to be.
I never contacted them because of anything emotional, but lack of actual functioning. It's really annoying then, that they want to treat my emotional life instead. Which isn't a problem of mine. Feelings is their professional feild where our problems are sorted - therefore our problems must be emotional. To fit in with their business and their treatment. More than anything is for people to grasp this ''not being able'. The practical nature of it. If I can see that the trash can is full, why in the world don't I just empty it?? I don't seem to be stupid, do I? Depressed? Yes, depressed! Sees no meaning in having things done.
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 28, 2016 8:34:27 GMT
ananse I know what you mean. . ADHD in itself. . IS NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS. . It may 'cause' or exacerbate illness. . Those mood questionnaires . . they make me angry, because a lot of the questions describe my ADHD traits, which aren't going to change, however happy or sad I may be.
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Post by shiningbright on May 28, 2016 16:35:21 GMT
Ansase you've hit the nail on the head. I used to volunteer in a mental centre support centre and it vexed me so much how they trace even thing down to feelings which are so subjective.
I some times think it's because we all have the same feelings (adhders and nts), our feelings all follow a similar 'rational' set up so it's easier for them to 'quantify us' using emotional perspectives rather then practical ones.
Oh and the trash bin - my oh is always on at me about that. He says that I should empty it everyday to avoid build up and doesn't understand why I seem to forget about it until it's too late and I've got 3 bags to take out. He doesn't realise that when I walk into my kitchen I don't register the bin as I'm so busy trying to focus on the task as hand whilst being bombarded with countless internal and external stimuli! If he had to deal with all the things inside my head he'd miss the bin also lol.
We're not broken: We're circles that society wants to have squeezed into their square boxes!
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Post by shiningbright on May 28, 2016 16:48:44 GMT
Just been told I won't be seen/diagnosed until next APRIL - I WAS ASSESSED LAST F***ING AUGUST!!!!! Seriously, this is driving me crazy. I'm desperate to be seen so i can start getting some order in my life but no one gives a rats ass! I've not forgotten this is your post. I feel for you. It's hard when you want to progress but others are holding you back- if there was a valid reason for a delayed appointment (sick Dr or something) then it wouldn't be so bad. But it sometimes feels more like they're testing you or just don't care at all. I can understand that a lot of centres are overwhelmed by patients these days but if that's the case then surely a cortosy call to remind patients that work is being done and progress will be made is worthwhile. It doesn't cost a Dr much to ring his patient and ask after them. One of the reasons I'm undx and plan to stay undx is that I don't have the time or energy to face these kinds of hold ups (to them we're a case file that they can pick-up and put down at will, they don't understand that for us it's a constant 24/7 battle of focus and that a small part of our brain is always thinking about them and what will happen at the next appointment and there after, etc.). I did try seeking assistance whenn I was younger as I was in a bad place but I got wrongly labeled depressed and fogged off. I ended up loosing my job and being stereotyped at work. Sometimes you have to fight for your corner. And sometimes you have to try and think of other things. Is there a phone line or similar you cou d ring to talk these things out with someone? Maybe getting some of the related thoughts verbalise might help you to pass the time quicker? Better to assume you will be diagnosised and made some of the relevant adaptions then to wait til theyve gotten aground to you and have it all fall in your lap in one go :-) just an idea- obviously i don't know your situation. I'm just advising based on my experience and opinions. If I said anything helpful then I'm glad. If I've said anything uunhelpful then I'm very sorry and seek forgiveness :-) Kind thoughts and prays flying your way (all of your readers ways iin fact! )
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