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Post by vagueandrandom on May 27, 2016 22:30:15 GMT
So I've had a few good days. . and I have things to look forward to and I'm feeling appreciated. . .
BUT . . all of a sudden tonight I'm at the bottom of the hole. . .feel so alone and worthless. . .
and I know that if I manage to get some sleep, I'll probably be fine again tomorrow. . .
It's just the night. . .tonight. . .
I really hate these mood-swings. .
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ananse
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 73
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Post by ananse on May 27, 2016 23:39:02 GMT
Some issues in life are about actual circumstances - like war, illness, etc; some issues are about negative emotional patterns that make small things totally overwhelming. When it comes to actually handling it, one is neither more nor less bad than the other. But objective problems would probably be a slight bit worse than subjective ones.
I think.
I rarely feel bad.
But I believe I have some problems that I don't know how to cope with. Other than being mostly happy.
Any way. I don't know what's bothering you and I don't know much about your emotional life. All I can say 100% sure is that (1) you're not alone and (2) you're not worthless.
At least not completely worthless.
Maybe not at all worthless, but definitly not completely.
I don't know you well enough to tell for sure that you're not partially worthless, a great deal worthless or maybe even almost totally worthless. I have no way of telling that. But you've definitly proved not to be absolutely worthless. That's a good start, I think. Being totally useless seems to be very rare, but I believe I've met a few. And that is really depressing. Most depressing of all is that they don't see themselves as worthless, but actually usually raise themselves a few floors above the rest of us.
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 28, 2016 6:51:04 GMT
Thanks, I think. . ananseDidn't get much sleep *again* . . Probably doesn't help. . . Knowing and feeling. . I feel worthless. . but there's enough evidence to prove that I'm not. . doesn't stop the feeling. . My problem with CBT.
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Post by marionk on May 28, 2016 7:48:13 GMT
Sleep definitely helps. Hope you are feeling better anyway though.
This is why I like Ritalin. For me, it keeps feelings 'in proportion', not that that's what it's supposed to do, but it does it a bleep sight better than the stuff that was supposed to!
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WTF??!!!!
May 28, 2016 9:48:25 GMT
via mobile
Post by shiningbright on May 28, 2016 9:48:25 GMT
I can relate, though I don't know what CBT is I am used to shocking emotional r ollercoasters.
I often find that my 'negative' emotional states, where I am angry or lonely or scared or just plain sad, often derive from 1 or 2 base 'fears/insecurities'.
I'm only saying this, not to belittle your feelings in any way but to share that my experience with feelings of self worth come from our own personal insecurities and fears of either n it being good enough or if kissing the people we love.
For adhders that fear might be a little more tense as it's generally harder for us to create lasting relationships and bonds, we've been hurt and ignored in our pasts and fear the same things happening in our futures.
Again is just generalisation based on my experience.
And bexause our brains work in a slightly different format to most of those around us we can often feel isolated, mocked and debilitated.
The reason I say all this is to point out that you feeling of worthlessness is unfounded- if others have treated you like that in the least it is a problem with their consciences not your self worth.
I have read a lot of your posts and find one can often tell quite a bit from how and when people write- again from experience- and you've always been supportive and friendly towaf ds others without promoting yourself above those on this forum. That shows that you are thoughtful and kind and, ultimately, thatyou are a worth while person.
As said before, most people who are worthless seem to think they're a cut above the rest- so using that logic then those who think that they are worthless most often aren't.
Bare in mind that worthlessness is a subjective term born of place, time and mostly circumstance. For examplen if I was put into a fight ring now I'd be totally worthless. But hand be a baby and I'm jolly good. But at 3 in the morning with a weekn of hardly any sleep and even that baby might benefit from another's pair of hands lol.
Sleep makes everything seem better.
As for loneiless- were all alone in one way if another, even nts struggle to understand theirnown brains lol, but what we do with what we kn ow i s what determines our loneliness.
I have my oh, my cowife (whob is being a bit odd with me of late) and one friend who talks to me maybe once a week. That's my social circle lol. I feel lonely a lot and I don't get out much. My oh is the only person who understands me and even then not much, but he is away most of the time leaving me to pretty m uch be a single mum to our two young kids. Everyday I go though an emotional rollercoaster of gratfulness for what I've got, anger for my seeming lack of support and sorrow for my isolation and limitations.
Again I only a at this as an example kf my perspective. Your perspective on your life is personal to you.
But you are thought of as worthwhile to me and, I'm confident, to others in your life.
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 28, 2016 12:30:25 GMT
Thanks for all your kind thoughts. .
I just needed to get it off my chest . .tired and still a bit emotional today, but busy, so not too much time to think.
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WTF??!!!!
May 28, 2016 15:18:38 GMT
via mobile
Post by shiningbright on May 28, 2016 15:18:38 GMT
I hope you have a good day :-)
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