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Post by bambam1992 on Jul 4, 2016 19:25:31 GMT
Hey, I'm pretty new here. Got diagnosis only last week and started meds Friday.
I just feel the need to vent about myself. I have messed up my family budget big time and I can't see how it happened but it did.
I feel so useless right now, I've messed up so many times before but it had been good for a while.
I'm so angry with myself and disappointed. This was the month I would pay everything on time and buy my daughters uniform.
And here I am 300 short for the bills let alone uniform.
Just want to curl into a ball and cry 😢 Xxxx
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Post by marionk on Jul 4, 2016 22:38:12 GMT
Ouch! You have my sympathies! I haven't had too serious a problem for some time now, at least, not of my own making, or anything forseeable. The last time my bank balance dropped scarily, it turned out I was the victim of card fraud! Gratz on the dx, and good luck with the medication.
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 11, 2016 8:32:47 GMT
Oh bless you. I can understand and relate. My OH and I have two sets off money and mine is for my bills that he can't pay for me and then if I need for food then I can ask. But I actually should be able to save anywhere from 200-400 quid a month, heat each Month that's not been saved and I don't know what I could be spending it on.
Actually I do know and I hate myself for it but I can't seem to control myself. But this post is about you, not me.
The normal advice for someone without adhd would be to sit down, plan and scrip and save and move stuff around. But I found that app rich quite useless and over complicated, what i find most useful is having someone else help me when it comes to organising money. Maybe your partner, a parent or even your daughter if she's old enough. If you turned you finances into family finances that you might find having others to help and remind you helpful.
That would depend on if they're worthy of such responsibility and trust naturally.
Shopping in my bane and I'd much rather leave it to my OH but if he did the shopping would never get done lol, and going shopping is pretty much my only time outside in the week so even though I'd rather order online I don't want to give up on my outings- even though I hate shopping.
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 11, 2016 8:33:54 GMT
I also swt alarms on my calendar, do mobile banking so i can check ny available funds when out and about and prefer using cash to credit.
I also refuse point blank to get a credit card because the risk is too great for me.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jul 11, 2016 10:26:23 GMT
shiningbright I'm similar. . .bills on direct debit and I take out cash, so I am aware of how much I'm spending. . .only take to the shops the amount of cash I can afford to spend and leave the cards at home. . . My biggest problem is Internet shopping. . .paypal makes it so easy. . . I try to curb my impulses by making myself walk away from the computer to get a coffee or something, then come back later. . doesn't always work. . . I bought an album on iTunes the other day and still haven't listened to it. . .actually, music is the thing that I get totally obsessed with and I absolutely have to get. . . I can't relax until I have it. . then I'll listen to it a couple of times. . .or listen to nothing else for weeks, then get bored and move onto something else. .
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 11, 2016 10:43:53 GMT
I found when it comes to online grocery shopping, then I'm less likely to waste money as it's done using my OH card (it's much harder to waste his money then my own lol). I pretend that I don't have paypal so as to avoid that and I purposely avoid online shopping for anything other then groceries.
I also make sure to ask my OH permission to buy XYZ, please don't think he's controlling, I personally find that asking him helps me to see if I really need it or not as he'll ask me why I want it. He never says no to me but he does ask me if I really need it. If anything, he's the one who pushes me towards some shopping, like I only buy one pair of shoes and I'll wear them until they're little more then rags on my feet lol, so he often reminds me to buy shoes if I need them.
i don't listen to muslic much and that saves me money and I make sure to not connect my phone to my play store so I can't waste money there either lol.
I also don't watch TV so I don't waste money on that.
My bane is takeaways. I'll get so worn out and tired by the end of the day that I don't want to cook and will get a nseeky takeaway (I'm ashamed to admit it) to give myself some ease but then I always regret is afterwards. It's my own fault, I forget to eat all day long then by the tme it's time to cook and eat I'm too tred and will each something fatty instead. I hate myself for doing this but yet I do it anyway.
I always remember my boys meals, but sometimes I feed them lunch a little late. But they have free access tot he fruit bowl so they don't seem to mind or complain. Poor lads.
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Post by bambam1992 on Jul 15, 2016 13:05:13 GMT
Hey everyone, thank you so much for all your advice. So it turns out I worked it all out wrong 😳.
Not that surprisin given the mess of sums and stuff that were on the paper I was writing on.
My partner went over it for me and said that we're okay. Not great but okay. Phew!!
I need to figure out a way of keeping track that works for me.
Even direct debits are a problem sometimes because some don't come out the day they're supposed too.
Need to practice different ways of doing it I think!
I find if asking my partners permission helps too, he almost always says yes but he makes me think about whether I need it or not.
Fingers crossed I can find a method that works!
Thanks guys ☺ Xxxx
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 15, 2016 15:39:11 GMT
I find if asking my partners permission helps too, he almost always says yes but he makes me think about whether I need it or not. It's great having people we can trust and rely on around us, they're our best assets in a way. I don't know where I'd be without min OH :-) sharpest tool in the shed (next to rusty old me lol)
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Post by easilydistracted on Jul 16, 2016 13:10:42 GMT
It might be overkill what *mostly* works for me is using an accounts package to keep track of what I have as cash/bankcard/creditcard. Direct debits/standing orders are entered automatically up to 3 months in advance, earlier if they fall on a weekend and I put in a lump allowance for the day before payday to cover food & rent, adjusting it upwards for 5 week months and reducing it down as the moth progresses. This way the figure that's left after that is what I have spare that month. Cash withdrawals show as a withdrawal from card and a payment into cash, meaning it is all kept track of regardless of where it is. Of course it requires a degree of obsession, eg entering every trip to the cornershop or the supermarket and how much, to keep track of it all, but in a way, that itself provides a discipline. I can look back over the last five years and see when I've been having bad spells and not been watching myself, that's when I have a back log of card payments to enter and have entries in it for "cash, unknown - 2 weeks" etc It also has some nice graphs and it's free www.gnucash.org If that looks too complicated there are other personal finance/money managers available and a colleague at work keeps his written up in books. Of course, that's only the keeping track part of the problem. In terms of setting a budget I sat down with a friend who was in a similar mess and we went through each other's spend, asking what was regular, what was not, what was necessary and what was not and together coming up with budgets that were workable.( ie, we had a chance of sticking to them ) We also got quite competitive in finding new gas/electricity/insurance deals, it became quite a bit of a game Probably one of the best was competing to see who could have the longest run of no spend days! I'm still not in charge of my spending, after having no credit card for 4 years I thought I could trust myself, no, well, I did, for a month...but it's been maxed out ever since and my last request to have my limit reduced was ignored Having no rainy day fund to dip into I'm loathe to cut it up, I need it too much. Anyway, hope there's an idea or two in there that's helpful
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