Post by shiningbright on Jul 27, 2016 20:15:26 GMT
First off - disclaimer - this is just me venting some personal steam and is not aimed at anyone on this site. Nor do my personal views, both mentioned and insinuated within this post, reflect on my views of what choices others with or without ADHD have or have not made. We're all able to make our own choices freely, I'm in no way criticizing others for theirs.
Okay, here goes...
Why is it that so many people look at my way of life and think that they have the right to comment on how I can do it better based on how they think I should live my life.
So many different views - you should get a job; you should stop having kids; you should set goals; you should time your activities; you should get your hair done; you should buy some new clothes; you should get out more; you should eat more nuts; you should put yourself first; you should put your husband first; you should but your country first; you should believe this; you should follow that; you should have more then one pair of shoes; you should do this and that and the other.
And when it comes to my ADHD based struggles (which no one knows about the ADHD part) I get so many comments like: you should sort yourself out; stop being lazy; it's not hard just get it done; just grow up; reward yourself; train yourself; just do it; see your doctor; you just need to manage your time better; you just need to organise yourself better; you should get medication for that; you should talk to a psychiatrist about your problems; it's easy look; everyone else manages; you just need to do this or that or the other...
And those I do tell about my ADHD all insist that I see my DR to get tablets to help me (and I'm not dissing those as choose this option but) why should I have to chemically alter my body, turn myself into a genie pig for the rest of my life while we find the right chemical cocktail for my "needs", for the sake of making me like everyone else?
Seriously: train myself with rewards? What am I - a dog?!? If that worked I wouldn't be the way I am would I.
Worst of all is - here, it's easy, just do what I tell you - hello, I'm not you!
I understand that my life isn't perfect and if I must follow the 'status quo' then I'm gonna struggle. but when i'm free to act according to how my brain works, then everything is great and me and my boys are fed and clean and happy. It's when the pressures of societal norms get enforced on me that I struggle.
My ADHD isn't a disease, I'm not broken, there is nothing wrong with me. I struggle because I'm expected to do things in ways that don't come naturally to me. But if i work in ways that suit my mind set then I manage things well enough to suit our needs.
It's your basic square peg, round hole situation. I'm not perfect but I'm not broken.
And why does it seem to make people so uncomfortable when you don't (or rather won't) conform to the way that they do things - what does it matter if the results are the same? Seriously does my nut in.
Okay, here goes...
Why is it that so many people look at my way of life and think that they have the right to comment on how I can do it better based on how they think I should live my life.
So many different views - you should get a job; you should stop having kids; you should set goals; you should time your activities; you should get your hair done; you should buy some new clothes; you should get out more; you should eat more nuts; you should put yourself first; you should put your husband first; you should but your country first; you should believe this; you should follow that; you should have more then one pair of shoes; you should do this and that and the other.
And when it comes to my ADHD based struggles (which no one knows about the ADHD part) I get so many comments like: you should sort yourself out; stop being lazy; it's not hard just get it done; just grow up; reward yourself; train yourself; just do it; see your doctor; you just need to manage your time better; you just need to organise yourself better; you should get medication for that; you should talk to a psychiatrist about your problems; it's easy look; everyone else manages; you just need to do this or that or the other...
And those I do tell about my ADHD all insist that I see my DR to get tablets to help me (and I'm not dissing those as choose this option but) why should I have to chemically alter my body, turn myself into a genie pig for the rest of my life while we find the right chemical cocktail for my "needs", for the sake of making me like everyone else?
Seriously: train myself with rewards? What am I - a dog?!? If that worked I wouldn't be the way I am would I.
Worst of all is - here, it's easy, just do what I tell you - hello, I'm not you!
I understand that my life isn't perfect and if I must follow the 'status quo' then I'm gonna struggle. but when i'm free to act according to how my brain works, then everything is great and me and my boys are fed and clean and happy. It's when the pressures of societal norms get enforced on me that I struggle.
My ADHD isn't a disease, I'm not broken, there is nothing wrong with me. I struggle because I'm expected to do things in ways that don't come naturally to me. But if i work in ways that suit my mind set then I manage things well enough to suit our needs.
It's your basic square peg, round hole situation. I'm not perfect but I'm not broken.
And why does it seem to make people so uncomfortable when you don't (or rather won't) conform to the way that they do things - what does it matter if the results are the same? Seriously does my nut in.