Post by TLondon on Aug 22, 2016 12:38:07 GMT
I have never had a diary or blog like this before. Perhaps it will be good for me .
I'm bloody lucky actually. Incredible wife, great job, lovely flat in London and a super supportive family and friends. Despite all this, I was suffering with some pretty on/off bouts of depression for the past three to five years. I won't go into details but enough was enough and I needed to sort myself out.
Eventually, I plucked up the courage to talk to the GP and I was referred to a specialist for Type 2 Bipolar.
After meeting a brilliant psychiatrist I am now starting a course of Methylphenidate as a treatment for a ADHD.
The hardest part of the process was walking through the GP's door. After that, it all started to make sense.
As for most members on this group, I am sure it "all just starts to make sense" in the same way it did for me. The psychiatrist suggested that managing ADHD in a highly pressured job may have taken it's toll hence the and feelings of depression et al, but he could see why the GP made the bipolar assessment. I was self medicating with alcohol, and , at times, drugs. Naturally, this was all having an impact on my home life as well.
I went through a process which I assume most adults with ADHD on this forum have probably been through. The psychiatrist gave me a number of tests to do and also spoke to my mother. I felt guilty that I was putting that onto my mum, and was worried that she would be kicking herself for missing some of the traits. However, she has been really good about the whole thing though and just want's me to be happy. Most parents and teachers looked for the super hyper kids in the eighties. The ones staring out of the window looking at the trees, or the birds, or through the blackboard, or head in the clouds were considered distracted. I was fortunate that I had a really supportive family that helped to control the hyper elements of my personality and were/continue to be really supportive of my creative tendencies. I was also lucky in that I have a relatively high IQ (if I do say so myself!!) and this carried me through school and uni and career. The fact I was always the most dis-organised and forgetful kid in the class (and still am, although I work at it daily) didn't raise any red flags back then.
I guess others feel the same sense of some relief upon diagnosis, followed by the initial embarrassment of discussing the condition, which leads to a realisation that, actually, no one is "normal" . After speaking to a few friends it was somewhat reassuring how many have their own issues they are dealing with. I hope I can be there for them as well.
I have always struggled with a wide variety of ADHD traits; being forgetful, outspoken , thoughtless in my actions, incredibly impulsive, heavy drinking, drugs, smoking, massive fidget, really distracted and looking as though I am not listening when I am.... as well as being pretty short tempered with people closest to me. These things I now want to try and manage. I know they will never go away, but perhaps I can excel further in my personal and work life with some regulation and control of what's going on.
So I have started on the medication and no major change yet (as expected) as I am only on 5mg x3 times a day, although I do feel a little more relaxed. I am ramping up over the next few weeks. Talking through the mental health problems I have had as collateral to managing an ADHD I didn't know I had, has been really therapeutic and in some ways this has helped me to rationalise what I have been diagnosed with and control some of the things I wasn't aware I was doing!
My wife has noticed a difference in my personality since speaking with my psychiatrist. I am over the depression I had, which is good. I have also reigned in the drinking, smoking and drugs. The most important thing for me is for my wife and I to be happy and I am hoping that in getting to the root cause of the problem that things will be good from here!
I'll update on my progress in a few weeks.
T
I'm bloody lucky actually. Incredible wife, great job, lovely flat in London and a super supportive family and friends. Despite all this, I was suffering with some pretty on/off bouts of depression for the past three to five years. I won't go into details but enough was enough and I needed to sort myself out.
Eventually, I plucked up the courage to talk to the GP and I was referred to a specialist for Type 2 Bipolar.
After meeting a brilliant psychiatrist I am now starting a course of Methylphenidate as a treatment for a ADHD.
The hardest part of the process was walking through the GP's door. After that, it all started to make sense.
As for most members on this group, I am sure it "all just starts to make sense" in the same way it did for me. The psychiatrist suggested that managing ADHD in a highly pressured job may have taken it's toll hence the and feelings of depression et al, but he could see why the GP made the bipolar assessment. I was self medicating with alcohol, and , at times, drugs. Naturally, this was all having an impact on my home life as well.
I went through a process which I assume most adults with ADHD on this forum have probably been through. The psychiatrist gave me a number of tests to do and also spoke to my mother. I felt guilty that I was putting that onto my mum, and was worried that she would be kicking herself for missing some of the traits. However, she has been really good about the whole thing though and just want's me to be happy. Most parents and teachers looked for the super hyper kids in the eighties. The ones staring out of the window looking at the trees, or the birds, or through the blackboard, or head in the clouds were considered distracted. I was fortunate that I had a really supportive family that helped to control the hyper elements of my personality and were/continue to be really supportive of my creative tendencies. I was also lucky in that I have a relatively high IQ (if I do say so myself!!) and this carried me through school and uni and career. The fact I was always the most dis-organised and forgetful kid in the class (and still am, although I work at it daily) didn't raise any red flags back then.
I guess others feel the same sense of some relief upon diagnosis, followed by the initial embarrassment of discussing the condition, which leads to a realisation that, actually, no one is "normal" . After speaking to a few friends it was somewhat reassuring how many have their own issues they are dealing with. I hope I can be there for them as well.
I have always struggled with a wide variety of ADHD traits; being forgetful, outspoken , thoughtless in my actions, incredibly impulsive, heavy drinking, drugs, smoking, massive fidget, really distracted and looking as though I am not listening when I am.... as well as being pretty short tempered with people closest to me. These things I now want to try and manage. I know they will never go away, but perhaps I can excel further in my personal and work life with some regulation and control of what's going on.
So I have started on the medication and no major change yet (as expected) as I am only on 5mg x3 times a day, although I do feel a little more relaxed. I am ramping up over the next few weeks. Talking through the mental health problems I have had as collateral to managing an ADHD I didn't know I had, has been really therapeutic and in some ways this has helped me to rationalise what I have been diagnosed with and control some of the things I wasn't aware I was doing!
My wife has noticed a difference in my personality since speaking with my psychiatrist. I am over the depression I had, which is good. I have also reigned in the drinking, smoking and drugs. The most important thing for me is for my wife and I to be happy and I am hoping that in getting to the root cause of the problem that things will be good from here!
I'll update on my progress in a few weeks.
T