Post by kw on Sept 12, 2016 12:37:48 GMT
Hi all. Just found this place, and it's my first post...
It was a comment on a post in a facebook group that found me here. A few weeks ago I was doing an online CBT course that wasn't helping, and asked for more help, so have been waiting for a face to face assessment (I loathe using the phone), which is next week. I was only musig about whether I should still go, as I was feeling a lot betetr. The service deals with stress, depression and anxiety, and while I was showing signs of depression I think it was partly running out of pills for my underactive thyroid, and the stress of my looming wedding. And it didn't feel the same as when I was depressed as a reaction to life events a few years back.
Anyway, someone asked if I'd been tested for adhd, and I have to say that would be the last thing to cross my mind as I don't remember my childhood being anything like the representation. But the more I looked, the more I thought 'that's me!'. Even more so after finding a list of typical traits for add sufferers and could relate to s many of them.
Currently my inability to get things done, no matter how badly I want it completed, is causing trouble with my husband. A few months ago I pulled all the kids stuff out of the loft to finally get rid of it all (youngest is 12 now!), and it's still piled up in the living room as I've lost enthusiasm. It's such an enormous job to decide what to sell, what to charity and what to throw. Now he's given his notice in at work he's moving in in a few weeks (lives 50 miles away and only here at the weekends), but the house needs sorting out to accommodate him and his stuff. Even though I'm on a deadline, I'm still not motivated enough to clear space. There are pies and piles of stuff all over the place . I so want to do so many things, but find it's time to cook dinner and I've been on the internet all day, when I'm not working. Washing up is still piled up from the day before cos I can't be arsed to do it. Even the kids are complaining, but I can't explain why I can't do it. After all, it's easy enough to do, I just need a kick up the backside...
I've never really had friends, and at school was often left out. I spent most of my 20's trying to fit in somewhere, and even now, in my mid 40's, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up as I enjoy so many things, but never stick at anything long enough. I feel I'm looking at life from the inside of a glass box. I can see it and want to join in, but don't know how to, and the few times I have been given the opportunity I've tried making excuses. I only go out with my husband as I don't have any friends that aren't in the computer. Down the pub is ok, as it's me and him, but when he took me to a friend's wedding reception I hated it when he went off to chat to people he knew and was glued to the bar nursing a drink hoping no-one came to talk to me.
A couple of weeks ago I had to sign my married name for the first time - in front of the hubby and someone else, and I chickened out as I felt so stupid! Then I felt rubbish because I'd signed my old name which I wasn't any more.
Sorry, have rambled on...
So I'm going to this assessment on Thursday, but really not sure how they can help now. Finding out about add has been eye-opening and explains so much, yet the service I've accessed is limited, so that means going back to the doc. And I'm so used to getting on with stuff by myself, rarely needing medical help, and not feeling anything is ever bad enough to need help (it took me wanting to walk in front of a car so I could spend time in hospital away from all the problems to realise I needed a few pills to get me through the short spell of depression), so to go and try and put into words all this stuff, after reading how hard it is to get help....
I've typed and deleted a post about 4 times now as I feel silly for even thinking this is why I've always felt the way I have, I thought most of it was normal.
Sorry, just wanting to connect with other people who understand and don't remind me of how much I should or could have got done if I'd really put my mind to it, or point out your award winning procrastinating tendencies. If anyone has any help on getting a diagnosis in Hampshire/Southampton that would be fab. Not that I know what I'd do with it afterwards, would just be nice to have an explanation
It was a comment on a post in a facebook group that found me here. A few weeks ago I was doing an online CBT course that wasn't helping, and asked for more help, so have been waiting for a face to face assessment (I loathe using the phone), which is next week. I was only musig about whether I should still go, as I was feeling a lot betetr. The service deals with stress, depression and anxiety, and while I was showing signs of depression I think it was partly running out of pills for my underactive thyroid, and the stress of my looming wedding. And it didn't feel the same as when I was depressed as a reaction to life events a few years back.
Anyway, someone asked if I'd been tested for adhd, and I have to say that would be the last thing to cross my mind as I don't remember my childhood being anything like the representation. But the more I looked, the more I thought 'that's me!'. Even more so after finding a list of typical traits for add sufferers and could relate to s many of them.
Currently my inability to get things done, no matter how badly I want it completed, is causing trouble with my husband. A few months ago I pulled all the kids stuff out of the loft to finally get rid of it all (youngest is 12 now!), and it's still piled up in the living room as I've lost enthusiasm. It's such an enormous job to decide what to sell, what to charity and what to throw. Now he's given his notice in at work he's moving in in a few weeks (lives 50 miles away and only here at the weekends), but the house needs sorting out to accommodate him and his stuff. Even though I'm on a deadline, I'm still not motivated enough to clear space. There are pies and piles of stuff all over the place . I so want to do so many things, but find it's time to cook dinner and I've been on the internet all day, when I'm not working. Washing up is still piled up from the day before cos I can't be arsed to do it. Even the kids are complaining, but I can't explain why I can't do it. After all, it's easy enough to do, I just need a kick up the backside...
I've never really had friends, and at school was often left out. I spent most of my 20's trying to fit in somewhere, and even now, in my mid 40's, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up as I enjoy so many things, but never stick at anything long enough. I feel I'm looking at life from the inside of a glass box. I can see it and want to join in, but don't know how to, and the few times I have been given the opportunity I've tried making excuses. I only go out with my husband as I don't have any friends that aren't in the computer. Down the pub is ok, as it's me and him, but when he took me to a friend's wedding reception I hated it when he went off to chat to people he knew and was glued to the bar nursing a drink hoping no-one came to talk to me.
A couple of weeks ago I had to sign my married name for the first time - in front of the hubby and someone else, and I chickened out as I felt so stupid! Then I felt rubbish because I'd signed my old name which I wasn't any more.
Sorry, have rambled on...
So I'm going to this assessment on Thursday, but really not sure how they can help now. Finding out about add has been eye-opening and explains so much, yet the service I've accessed is limited, so that means going back to the doc. And I'm so used to getting on with stuff by myself, rarely needing medical help, and not feeling anything is ever bad enough to need help (it took me wanting to walk in front of a car so I could spend time in hospital away from all the problems to realise I needed a few pills to get me through the short spell of depression), so to go and try and put into words all this stuff, after reading how hard it is to get help....
I've typed and deleted a post about 4 times now as I feel silly for even thinking this is why I've always felt the way I have, I thought most of it was normal.
Sorry, just wanting to connect with other people who understand and don't remind me of how much I should or could have got done if I'd really put my mind to it, or point out your award winning procrastinating tendencies. If anyone has any help on getting a diagnosis in Hampshire/Southampton that would be fab. Not that I know what I'd do with it afterwards, would just be nice to have an explanation