Post by drum on Sept 16, 2016 23:19:10 GMT
Hi,
Just joined.
I have been late for work at least once a week since my paper round and milk round as a boy. Oddly I have never been sacked. When I was in the Navy, I was run (sort of court marshalled) by the regulators (the navy police) to the extent they knew me well. Anyway, enough of that. Thats just to give you a tiny idea of how manic the last 40 years have been but somehow I have still managed to be semi successful.
A little more enlightenment sorry. I spent the first 30 years pretty much single for obvious reasons and there has been a constant pattern that I struggle terribly with relationships. Being single unfortunately makes life a hell of a lot easier as I could blast around the house like a maniac fitting a bathroom whilst getting the dishes done (often the water goes cold and I have to fill the bowl again) and even doing my accounts at the same time. The unintentional philosophy behind this, is that whatever room I walk into, there is something there that needs doing and I do a little bit before I wander off through the kitchen to the garden for a cigarette and "oh the bloody dishes" and I fill the bowl again, then see through the window that the lawnmower has been sat there plugged in ready to go for hours.
But it was all good. A manic and rather embarrassing system but it worked. Colleagues, family and friends have learnt to accept the madness in my methods over the years and my idiotic personality has ironically been my ally in relationships with friends and colleagues.
With intimate relationships my system obviously falls apart. It would be inconsiderate if not just bonkers to be plastering my walls or doing the droplinks on one of our cars at 4am. As you can imagine things have slowly been falling apart over the last four years since I've been with my beautiful and incredibly understanding partner. I have never been diagnosed with anything but I spent a large part of my childhood either grounded for not doing my homework or for my behaviour, or in a corridor outside a classroom for not paying attention or again for my behaviour. Yet since I was a small boy teachers, family, friends and colleagues have always and still do bang on about how fucking clever I am!
The reason for being here is because we have an absolutely stunning 9 week old baby boy and I am now just overwhelmed with distractions. Our house is tiny and I/we outgrew it years ago. I know what I need to do to make our lives better but I just cant seem to get round to getting anything done any more! Moving would solve so much just by having more space but I have a CCJ and I'm self employed. Due to my to do list being so far out of date nowadays I feel we are stuck in a bit of an unpleasant and quite hostile rut.
When home life is good, the rest is good. But with my home life being turbulent, I'm easily distracted at work and due to the nature of my work I then beat myself up for those mistakes. Then I have to go through the whole process of lifting my spirits again and again, putting our relationship under a lot of strain and the distraction factor at work gets worse. And the cycle goes on.
Some good advice would help me pluck up the courage to seek help and where to start. I'm not so worried about myself as to be honest I have come to terms with my "there's something wrong with me" with my crazy systems and have many hobbies and interests go keep depression at bay. Diagnosis would help me explain and give me the courage to talk to people, in particular my partner which might help her to cope with an idiot dick for a boyfriend. Thus in turn helping me to sort out our future together as a family for the better and let me put a new generation of crazy systems in place that will suit all three of us.
I just burnt my lasagne.........lol
I suppose I'd just like to help my beloved understand why I am the way I am and why I do all the silly the things I do. I used to find it amusing, now its become a hindrance on the future happiness of my family.
Just joined.
I have been late for work at least once a week since my paper round and milk round as a boy. Oddly I have never been sacked. When I was in the Navy, I was run (sort of court marshalled) by the regulators (the navy police) to the extent they knew me well. Anyway, enough of that. Thats just to give you a tiny idea of how manic the last 40 years have been but somehow I have still managed to be semi successful.
A little more enlightenment sorry. I spent the first 30 years pretty much single for obvious reasons and there has been a constant pattern that I struggle terribly with relationships. Being single unfortunately makes life a hell of a lot easier as I could blast around the house like a maniac fitting a bathroom whilst getting the dishes done (often the water goes cold and I have to fill the bowl again) and even doing my accounts at the same time. The unintentional philosophy behind this, is that whatever room I walk into, there is something there that needs doing and I do a little bit before I wander off through the kitchen to the garden for a cigarette and "oh the bloody dishes" and I fill the bowl again, then see through the window that the lawnmower has been sat there plugged in ready to go for hours.
But it was all good. A manic and rather embarrassing system but it worked. Colleagues, family and friends have learnt to accept the madness in my methods over the years and my idiotic personality has ironically been my ally in relationships with friends and colleagues.
With intimate relationships my system obviously falls apart. It would be inconsiderate if not just bonkers to be plastering my walls or doing the droplinks on one of our cars at 4am. As you can imagine things have slowly been falling apart over the last four years since I've been with my beautiful and incredibly understanding partner. I have never been diagnosed with anything but I spent a large part of my childhood either grounded for not doing my homework or for my behaviour, or in a corridor outside a classroom for not paying attention or again for my behaviour. Yet since I was a small boy teachers, family, friends and colleagues have always and still do bang on about how fucking clever I am!
The reason for being here is because we have an absolutely stunning 9 week old baby boy and I am now just overwhelmed with distractions. Our house is tiny and I/we outgrew it years ago. I know what I need to do to make our lives better but I just cant seem to get round to getting anything done any more! Moving would solve so much just by having more space but I have a CCJ and I'm self employed. Due to my to do list being so far out of date nowadays I feel we are stuck in a bit of an unpleasant and quite hostile rut.
When home life is good, the rest is good. But with my home life being turbulent, I'm easily distracted at work and due to the nature of my work I then beat myself up for those mistakes. Then I have to go through the whole process of lifting my spirits again and again, putting our relationship under a lot of strain and the distraction factor at work gets worse. And the cycle goes on.
Some good advice would help me pluck up the courage to seek help and where to start. I'm not so worried about myself as to be honest I have come to terms with my "there's something wrong with me" with my crazy systems and have many hobbies and interests go keep depression at bay. Diagnosis would help me explain and give me the courage to talk to people, in particular my partner which might help her to cope with an idiot dick for a boyfriend. Thus in turn helping me to sort out our future together as a family for the better and let me put a new generation of crazy systems in place that will suit all three of us.
I just burnt my lasagne.........lol
I suppose I'd just like to help my beloved understand why I am the way I am and why I do all the silly the things I do. I used to find it amusing, now its become a hindrance on the future happiness of my family.