patrick
Member's not posted much yet
Multi-disciplinary under-achiever. And dad.
Posts: 18
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Post by patrick on Feb 14, 2017 13:39:55 GMT
So it's Valentine's day. Of course I vaguely remembered, then forgot, then remembered but dithered and in the end didn't do anything about it. My (ASD) partner just didn't remember at all. "Oh, is it?" she said, a little surprised at herself, when I made my sheepish admission this morning. We know each other well enough that this is all fine. Fourteen years and counting
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loops1
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Posts: 1
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Post by loops1 on Mar 30, 2017 14:16:40 GMT
hey I just saw this and thought I would ask how long you and your partner have been diagnosed and how you get through the times when you feel like your messing stuff up because I find I get agitated and find it hard to function when it comes to getting my point across and that can be hard for my partners so if you have any tips or pointers on how to clear my brain that would be great.
Loops1
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patrick
Member's not posted much yet
Multi-disciplinary under-achiever. And dad.
Posts: 18
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Post by patrick on Apr 1, 2017 20:36:37 GMT
Hi loops. I really wish I could offer tips for clearing your brain, but I'm not really the right person to ask My other half and I have a volatile relationship. I was pleased to post this item because that was one time where things went ok. It's not always like that, we have blazing rows. The diagnosis and realisation of what we are like is recent - she was dx'ed about a year ago, I'm not formally labelled yet but I have a referral which I hope will get completed this year. This all came about because of one of our children whose school problems have led him to being under the eye of various services, and it was suggested we should follow up these aspects of ourselves too. We do survive with each other and keep on learning to make it better. The key if anything is to be ready to unpick what we are saying to each other, to get behind the assumptions and (mis)-interpretations which create barriers to acceptance and communication. We are working at this, and have sought couple therapy, although I think it is essential to look for someone with actual expertise in dealing with neurodiversity. One approach I highly recommend is NVC - Non-Violent Communication, which was developed by Marshall Rosenberg. There's a book, and quite a lot of web resources. It's a way of trying to be precise about what we are able to say -- to own our own feelings and thoughts, and be clear when we are making a judgment, and also be careful not to try to state what the other person is feeling or thinking, but to let them do that and be listened to.
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Post by anopheles on May 23, 2017 15:30:48 GMT
I told Pixie Gloriosa the other day that I knew I love her because she inspires me to make stupid faces. 8 years! My longest relation by about.... 8 years! (well, 6.5) because we are two broken bottles that happen to fit after and explosion in a glass factory (and, it turns out, we both have ADHD, diagnosed within the last two years).
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