fardale
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Post by fardale on Feb 17, 2017 19:05:55 GMT
So, got my £595 private assessment on sunday (goodbye money) and was just wanted a few personal experiences people have had with this stage.
So my main issues are:
-Even though i'm like 99.9^% sure i have ADHD, there's still that ever present self doubt (hyper-focus, google, 11pm-2am sessions, research, yaaaaay, zzzzz). Is this normal? :/
-Does anyone else here experience what I can only describe as "constant inner monologue"? (and i mean constant.... sometimes i wake up and i'm already half way through a thought) and should i mention this to the psych?
-And these bloody million question questionnaires... are these a trick?? me:"Hi, i think i have adhd." dr:"ok, fill out these questions. if you can complete them before the hour before your assessment then you don't have adhd!" me: "yaaaaaaay! no... wait..."
-and finally, has anyone used clinical partners in Birmingham before?
Thanks in advance :3
edit: oh, and every time i bring this up with my parents they roll their eyes, and when i try to tell about the symptoms and relate them to my ENTIRE (yes, entire, as i'm sure you're all aware of) life, their response varies from the following a) your lazy b) thats just children c) oh i was like that too (followed by a 20 minute story) d) shut up, i was talking first!! don't interrupt!
anyone else get this during their assessment period? :/
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Post by Rachel 1981 on Feb 17, 2017 19:36:55 GMT
I got diagnosed last month aged 35 and everyone except my family have been supportive. They have never been supportive or accepting as far as I can remember anyway, in my case I'm better off without them as they've always made me feel like a waste of space. Yours might come round if you can convince them to look at the facts but it might be a generational thing, older people tend not to get it.
Try to surround yourself with supportive people as much as possible, we give ourselves a hard enough time without other people adding to our feelings of inadequacy. The only person you HAVE to live with is yourself so be forgiving of yourself, you ARE trying your best and it IS good enough.
Sorry no experience of any services in Birmingham, I was diagnosed by an NHS psychiatrist, easy peasy as I scored very highly!
Good luck on your journey of self discovery and hopefully self acceptance.
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Post by Rachel 1981 on Feb 17, 2017 19:41:12 GMT
I got diagnosed last month aged 35 and everyone except my family have been supportive. They have never been supportive or accepting as far as I can remember anyway, in my case I'm better off without them as they've always made me feel like a waste of space. Yours might come round if you can convince them to look at the facts but it might be a generational thing, older people tend not to get it.
Try to surround yourself with supportive people as much as possible, we give ourselves a hard enough time without other people adding to our feelings of inadequacy. The only person you HAVE to live with is yourself so be forgiving of yourself, you ARE trying your best and it IS good enough.
Sorry no experience of any services in Birmingham, I was diagnosed by an NHS psychiatrist, easy peasy as I scored very highly!
Good luck on your journey of self discovery and hopefully self acceptance.
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Feb 17, 2017 20:27:07 GMT
I got diagnosed last month aged 35 and everyone except my family have been supportive. They have never been supportive or accepting as far as I can remember anyway, in my case I'm better off without them as they've always made me feel like a waste of space. Yours might come round if you can convince them to look at the facts but it might be a generational thing, older people tend not to get it. Try to surround yourself with supportive people as much as possible, we give ourselves a hard enough time without other people adding to our feelings of inadequacy. The only person you HAVE to live with is yourself so be forgiving of yourself, you ARE trying your best and it IS good enough. Sorry no experience of any services in Birmingham, I was diagnosed by an NHS psychiatrist, easy peasy as I scored very highly! Good luck on your journey of self discovery and hopefully self acceptance. Thank you ^^
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 17, 2017 21:21:02 GMT
fardale Yes it's normal (for ADHD) to doubt, feel a fraud, come across unhelpful comments such as "but we all do that" from pretty much everyone, including medical professionals and family. . The inner monologue. . .it's more like having too many thoughts at once, so you end up being distracted by your own thoughts (this was picked up during my assessment by the specialist) If you're seeing a good specialist, they'll probably be able to tell by just talking to you and observing you. The most important thing is to be honest and admit to things that you don't even like to admit to yourself. . .I've had two assessments in the past 2 years, one NHS and one private and they were pretty similar and conclusive. I didn't feel like I was being put on the spot, or they were we're trying to trick me. I hope it goes well for you
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Post by marionk on Feb 19, 2017 9:48:37 GMT
So, got my £595 private assessment on sunday (goodbye money) and was just wanted a few personal experiences people have had with this stage. So my main issues are: -Even though i'm like 99.9^% sure i have ADHD, there's still that ever present self doubt (hyper-focus, google, 11pm-2am sessions, research, yaaaaay, zzzzz). Is this normal? :/ -Does anyone else here experience what I can only describe as "constant inner monologue"? (and i mean constant.... sometimes i wake up and i'm already half way through a thought) and should i mention this to the psych? -And these bloody million question questionnaires... are these a trick?? me:"Hi, i think i have adhd." dr:"ok, fill out these questions. if you can complete them before the hour before your assessment then you don't have adhd!" me: "yaaaaaaay! no... wait..." -and finally, has anyone used clinical partners in Birmingham before? Thanks in advance :3 edit: oh, and every time i bring this up with my parents they roll their eyes, and when i try to tell about the symptoms and relate them to my ENTIRE (yes, entire, as i'm sure you're all aware of) life, their response varies from the following a) your lazy b) thats just children c) oh i was like that too (followed by a 20 minute story) d) shut up, i was talking first!! don't interrupt! anyone else get this during their assessment period? :/ -Yes, normal. It does go away once the shock wears off though. I think a lot of it is to do with only knowing what goes on in our own heads combined with years of assuming everyone else is the same. -Yes, especially while driving! There is that saying about talking to yourself being the first sign of madness. I often wonder if they mean out loud or not. ;P I don't think I've ever told anyone about it, til right now! I've also done it while lucid dreaming, 'Ooh, I'm conscious but still asleep, I wonder if I can fly higher than the rooves this time. Oh well, maybe I can imagine a beach around the next corner, instead . . .' -hahaha, but actually . . . in my more paranoid moments, I do wonder if it's intended to put people of pursuing a dx of ADHD. I don't know of anyone that had to answer so many questions for any other 'mental' problems to be dx. Going over things with my Mum, I remembered that even as a child, I'd often forget what I was going somewhere for. Like, I'd be heading upstairs for something and I'd call out from half way up the stairs 'Mum, what am I going upstairs for?' I asked her if she remembered too, and she said yes, but she thought that was normal, because she was always like that, too. So, we figured she has it too. Many people are very resistant to any such suggestion though, and take it as criticism, so while it's quite likely that one or both of your parents also have it, they may well hate you for implying they are in some way defective. As long as they are coping ok, it's probably going to be counter productive to try and get them to admit it though.
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Feb 19, 2017 15:40:18 GMT
Just wanna say, thanks for the responses and support. I have just received my diagnosis!! I thought i would be just inattentive, but my Dr. made me look at alot of these aspects differently. so I have dual type adhd! He's filling out a report due in the next 10 days. so then off to my gp to see if they'll do a shared plan. fingers crossed! If any1 is in worcestershire and looking to go private because ...well worcester is crap for this... Then go to clinical partners in birmingham and see Dr. Karim Rajput. If i had doubt about adhd going in i certainly didn't come out! sounds like an ad xD ah well. Thanks to everyone again! Will be back on some time in the week to narrate my progress in the boards again! LUCKY YOU GUYS! xD
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2017 20:24:06 GMT
Vagueandrandom directed me to your post, thanks to both of you, it has been reassuring as I am facing similar doubts and family problems. I think people think we are just trying to make an excuse when all we really want is to understand ourselves and work towards coping/adjusting usinng that knowledge. I'm glad it went well for you, reading replies here I feel a lot less anxious about my own upcoming appointment. Has taken me over a year to get to this stage vie the NHS route but it is understandable considering the government recently gutted the local NHS trust. I hope I do get diagnosed now as I have exhausted all other explanations and treatments at this point. Thanks for sharing.
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Feb 20, 2017 11:46:35 GMT
when adhd fits; it fits. keep at it mate. only got a diagnosis yesterday and i feel better then i have in a long time. I don't feel stuck anymore. There's room to move forward.
Almost everyone who takes the adhd meds have given positive feedback. so i'm looking forward to the 'fog lifting'.
My doctor was great, and even made me review aspects of my life that i thought wern't adhd related. I thought adhd fitted when i read (a lot) about it. but he said my condition was pretty bad when i thought it was only mild and linked it to many other things i struggled with. I was trying not to make my entire life about it but after hearing it from his perspective it really takes alot of pressure off my shoulders that i've been dealing with since primary school.
Wish you all the luck in the world in your diagnosis.
I'd also like to give a huge shout out to vagueandrandom and marionk. i know i didn't respond to your posts directly. But i read them, and it helped significantly thank you.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 20, 2017 12:02:54 GMT
fardale . . I'm glad you're having a positive response to your diagnosis. I hope meds work for you, they're certainly worth a try, but don't expect miracles, you'll still have to learn how to live 'with' ADHD and if you don't get on with meds (like me) it's not the end of the world. .at least you know what's at the root of your difficulties.
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Feb 20, 2017 14:09:31 GMT
yer. i don't expect em to fix everything but i'm hoping that the wacom i bought a year or 2 ago won't be a complete waste i wanna draw dammit! and i wanna learn japanese... and play the piano... oooh and the violin!! xD But in all seriousness theres a couple of creative things i used to be really good at that i'm hoping the meds will help me with. I never struggled with them but just struggle to KEEP going with them. plus maybe I'll be less of a useless jackass at work i keep loosing car keys and i work at a 2nd hand dealer. fun times! edit: and i'd like to get out my head... for once in my life. i want out. i'm tired of going in circles with a million thoughts every damn second. :3 that 1 was a little ranty sorry
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 20, 2017 16:49:03 GMT
I'm with you on wanting to get out of my head . .get some peace and clarity. .
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Mar 31, 2017 19:18:53 GMT
just an update, finally got prescribed some meds. Concerta XL 18mg for 14 days. and then 27Mg for the 14 days after that. started on the 18mg today. Not sure i felt anything different. No effects, no side effects. nada. nil i'll stick to my doctors orders and keep pluggin away. I wasn't expecting a miracle, but i wasn't expecting 'nothing' either. No lifting, no coming off. meds have never really had much effect on me. tried a tramadol once. The pain killer effect worked fairly well. but didn't make me feel drowsy at all :3 probably should have mentioned that to my doctor. I hardly take medications so its not a case of 'resistance'. I guess it takes a lot to get through all that 15 stone xD (~95kg). just fyi for people looking to go private. If they offer you ~£600 for an assessment. Just know that to go back to the NHS after this stage is the biggest pain in the ass experience you will ever face. Which will make you end up going private until you're fully setup. So a more realistic expectation will be: £600 assessment £195 per follow up session (30 mins) £75 to just pick up a prescription without a consultation. ~£50 for a month of medication with a private prescription. Every time you need to adjust dose or change medication you're looking at another £195 session. Once you're setup it looks massively easier to jump back onto NHS, but you're probably looking at another £195 session every 6-12 months. I'm not trying to put anyone off it. This has been the best thing in the world for me. I don't think i would have even gotten a diagnosis in my lifetime had i tried to chase it though the NHS due to the lack of services in Worcestershire and my ...oh yeah... ADHD!!!! bloody stupid irony.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 1, 2017 6:17:30 GMT
Don't worry about not feeling anything from the concerta at 18mg
they start you on a very low dose and build up to make sure you can
tolerate it without too many side-effects.
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Apr 1, 2017 18:23:50 GMT
yer. yesterday i had ....er i suppose a 'tight chest' feeling through the day. today has been dry mouth which isn't really a problem as you just drink more to compensate which is probably a good thing anyway. all in all really mild side effects which i know is lucky. I have 14 days worth of 18mg to go through then 14 days worth of 27mg. Then i have to return to specialist.
Its keeping all my common sense and willpower to stop myself from skipping onto the 27mg for my day off tomorow :3
I suppose that just makes me sound childish lol.
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goldfish
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Post by goldfish on Apr 5, 2017 20:19:38 GMT
fardaleI live in Birmingham, I was privately diagnosed as well but now I'm being seen by Forward Thinking (NHS)... It was a very long wait but got there eventually, and i like my new psychiatrist better than the private one... I don't know if they'd let you register if you live in Worcester, but i thought I'd mention it!
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sasquatch
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Post by sasquatch on Apr 9, 2017 16:37:47 GMT
What's really amazing is people without just assume the effect is limited only to the initials of ADHD.
I'm myself estranged from my family. For most of the same reasons as mentioned. At least my mother had the guts to outright tell me at 14 that she'd disinherited me and I'd just have to manage with life.
ADHD seems to be such a maligned condition which is astonishing because it can be so life limiting.
Wishing you all the best. Keep us up to date as I've been on and off the idea of formal treatment. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm doing ok and I'm happy with who I am with the self coping tactics
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 9, 2017 23:06:54 GMT
You're right sasquatch . .it's shocking how misunderstood ADHD is, even within the medical professionals. .let alone society in general, a lot of whom think it doesn't exisit and the rest thinking it only affects children's learning and behaviour in school. . I'm really wary of telling anyone for these reasons, even though I'm pleased to have found out what's been causing a load of things in my life. . It's a personal thing how you decide to deal with it . .meds are good for some and learning coping strategies can work for others . .accepting and learning to live *with* ADHD is probably as important as anything else.
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Apr 10, 2017 12:15:35 GMT
only a couple of months after d/x and i wish i hadn't told anyone. its the passive-aggressive comments that are the worse. My dad told me "what a waste of money" and "are you really going again?!". or, and my favourite, "lets crush some of <insert real name here>'s tablets up and get high."
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sasquatch
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Post by sasquatch on Apr 10, 2017 14:22:33 GMT
You'll get a lot of that I'm afraid. The worst being those who think they know it all when they know nothing about it, making smart assed comments while thinking they're hilarious.
I think what really gets to me is that, if we were autistic or had down syndrome and received the same insults those giving the abuse would be committing a crime...no such recognition exists for us
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Post by Mouse on Apr 21, 2017 13:24:46 GMT
My mum and dad were supportive, but that's them. My dad said he thought he very likely had adhd but was not going to confirm as at his time of life he didnt feel the need to! And based on my mum's moments (and stories about her mum) I feel I've probably had a double whammy of it !! I've always been the butt of the family jokes due to my mishaps and misunderstandings... but never cruelly or unkindly so. So I have been lucky. I was diagnosed privately 10 years ago and NHS dx last year. Meds appt in May.
If ever parents are uncooperative it may be they are having to do some hard thinking. They may be resistant as well if the matter of heredity raises its head! Some parents feel guilty. And then again some just don't want to hear it or contemplate it and are not open to discussion or receptive.
Luckily we have the forum and others who understand.
(sorry for ramble)
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Apr 21, 2017 17:35:50 GMT
nw. if it was a ramble i wouldn't have been able to sit here and read it lol. My parents have always generally been very supportive. but my dad struggles with the concept of people being invisibly ill. If he can't see it, he lacks sympathy. even common illnesses. so... bring in a mental disorder and its "i support you" but he'll be passive-aggressive about it forever and a day and shoot you funny looks or dismiss it when i talk about it. just an update on my medication stage if anyone is interested. started on 27mg concerta and still very little effects positive or negative. however, i've had better energy and i've never slept better in my entire life. used to take me 30mins to 2 hours to get to sleep every night of my life. even when i've been exhausted or up all night. on these i've been knocked out probably in less than 20 minutes. its hard to tell since its so quick xD I accidentally took double dose last bank holiday ( i normally take 1 after breakfast on a day off but i forgot i was working and i take one before i leave for work when i'm in... so.. oops). was one hell of a day. i essentially did in 1 day what I've been meaning to do since january. still no negative effects woot woot. on the other hand I forgot to take one today. long story short, they do work. i havn't been noticing the small improvements i've had since taken them. but contrary to what i wrote in the last paragraph. they've doing something good. even my boss was like wtf is up with you today without me even saying anything. back to doctor on sunday for dose review. another £200, but at least now i know i'm going in the right direction! sorry for the rant
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goldfish
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Post by goldfish on Apr 21, 2017 22:15:01 GMT
Glad things are going well for you!
I took 54mg by accident once as well, was pretty extreme
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Apr 22, 2017 18:20:18 GMT
i think 54mg or the next one up will be the right spot for me. depends if i build any 'resistance' to it i guess.
a little gutted that i haven't got the loss of apatite side effect :3 would have probably balanced out with my excessive eating lol.
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goldfish
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Post by goldfish on Apr 22, 2017 21:29:15 GMT
Don't think I'd want to feel like that every day, it was too intense IMO. But I've taken the same amount over one day by combining XL and normal tablets, and felt fine... We seem to have a lot in common!!! I have an urge to eat all the time, thought medication would have helped but nope
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fardale
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Post by fardale on Apr 23, 2017 13:20:07 GMT
its always nice to talk with others who are going through the same thing as you am up to 36mg, blood pressure was a little high. will have to start going to the gym properly again D: will pick em up 2moz.
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