Post by ADT on Apr 11, 2017 20:17:03 GMT
Hi guys... i'll try and keep this short and to the point. Hoping for some advice and reassurance as I'm worried I'm being foolish and getting carried away.
So a brief description of my life.
I'm male 27, and generally an intellectual type. I've spent years feeling that there was something a bit different about me. I have friends but have always struggled to fit in. Spent my school life struggling to focus and bouncing off the walls... in infants school i was referred to a child psychiatrist who found no issues. As I got older the behavior problems increased and I massively fell below my academic potential despite trying to succeed.
I feel like my head is always all over the place, struggle to focus on things like school/work and to keep general tasks and order in my life. money, laundry etc. I have been through a lot of jobs and moved around different cities.
I get totally obsessed with things... all I want to do is to do or learn about that thing every second of the day. I manage to bring every conversation back to it... and then after a couple of weeks or so I lose interest. Then repeat.
I discovered drink and drugs early and experimented a lot, cannabis became my drug of choice and I have now used compulsively 24/7 for over 10 years. I also developed anxiety, deep depression and self esteem issues due to feeling like a failure and feeling socially different.
The cannabis eventually caused more problems in my life but whenever I don't smoke the issues of hyperactivity, impulsiveness and emotional problems that I experienced as a child seem to come flooding back.
I'VE CUT A LOT OF RELEVENT STUFF OUT TO KEEP IT SHORT.
Soooo....fast forward to today.
I eventually hit rock bottom and became suicidal, as a result of this I was picked up by mental health services. I am also now app. 28 days clean and sober.
As a result of assessment I was told that they suspected and underlying diagnosis of EUPD or ADHD. But I will have to wait for more assessment/referrals/etc.
So I went home and googled these things... EUPD first and I thought "hmmm... i guess maybe".... then ADHD.
I watched a couple of videos of people describing their experience and my stomach dropped, next thing I know I'm crying my eyes out because I've never heard anyone describe things I was feeling. Could this be the thing I've been missing all this time!
I've now devoured every last corner of the internet over the last 4 days and I'm convinced beyond doubt. A million lightbulbs have gone off and everything in my life finally makes so much sense!
Trouble is I'm probably weeks away from a diagnosis, and I feel like I really shouldn't be getting carried away. At this point if they come back to me and say there's no underlying diagnosis then I will be at a COMPLETE loss... but I still can't stop researching!
Am I setting myself up for a fall here???
Any advice would be great as I'm driving myself a bit insane here! And without my usual coping mechanism of cannabis.
TL;DR Waiting for further mental health stuff but self diagnosed via google. Am I setting myself up for a huge knock?!
Cheers anyone.....
T x
So a brief description of my life.
I'm male 27, and generally an intellectual type. I've spent years feeling that there was something a bit different about me. I have friends but have always struggled to fit in. Spent my school life struggling to focus and bouncing off the walls... in infants school i was referred to a child psychiatrist who found no issues. As I got older the behavior problems increased and I massively fell below my academic potential despite trying to succeed.
I feel like my head is always all over the place, struggle to focus on things like school/work and to keep general tasks and order in my life. money, laundry etc. I have been through a lot of jobs and moved around different cities.
I get totally obsessed with things... all I want to do is to do or learn about that thing every second of the day. I manage to bring every conversation back to it... and then after a couple of weeks or so I lose interest. Then repeat.
I discovered drink and drugs early and experimented a lot, cannabis became my drug of choice and I have now used compulsively 24/7 for over 10 years. I also developed anxiety, deep depression and self esteem issues due to feeling like a failure and feeling socially different.
The cannabis eventually caused more problems in my life but whenever I don't smoke the issues of hyperactivity, impulsiveness and emotional problems that I experienced as a child seem to come flooding back.
I'VE CUT A LOT OF RELEVENT STUFF OUT TO KEEP IT SHORT.
Soooo....fast forward to today.
I eventually hit rock bottom and became suicidal, as a result of this I was picked up by mental health services. I am also now app. 28 days clean and sober.
As a result of assessment I was told that they suspected and underlying diagnosis of EUPD or ADHD. But I will have to wait for more assessment/referrals/etc.
So I went home and googled these things... EUPD first and I thought "hmmm... i guess maybe".... then ADHD.
I watched a couple of videos of people describing their experience and my stomach dropped, next thing I know I'm crying my eyes out because I've never heard anyone describe things I was feeling. Could this be the thing I've been missing all this time!
I've now devoured every last corner of the internet over the last 4 days and I'm convinced beyond doubt. A million lightbulbs have gone off and everything in my life finally makes so much sense!
Trouble is I'm probably weeks away from a diagnosis, and I feel like I really shouldn't be getting carried away. At this point if they come back to me and say there's no underlying diagnosis then I will be at a COMPLETE loss... but I still can't stop researching!
Am I setting myself up for a fall here???
Any advice would be great as I'm driving myself a bit insane here! And without my usual coping mechanism of cannabis.
TL;DR Waiting for further mental health stuff but self diagnosed via google. Am I setting myself up for a huge knock?!
Cheers anyone.....
T x