spikeyxx
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Posts: 30
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Post by spikeyxx on Jul 9, 2017 19:01:25 GMT
Rarely check in on forum, sometimes doubt I have ADHD until either A) tablets run out and I start doing very stupid things B) someone else tells me I'm doing something they don't approve off.
I am habitually late for work. I cannot seem to find a way to consistently get in on time. I have been recently given a pay grade increase and now 2 colleagues in one day have had a go at me for being late. One even went so far as to say "for the last two days on the morning you have done fuck all, fuck all. Everyone is sick of it and if they won't tell you, I will"
Feel like I want to tell them what I have, how it affects me but A) they probably wouldn't accept it and would instead see it as an excuse B) I could loose any responsibility and loose all promotion opportunities in the future.
I am a man, and I broke down in tears today in front of another man because I felt like such a fuck up.i feel weak and pathetic for this. I'm meant to be able to lead the project I work at and I can't even get in on time. What business to I have being involved in management.
These people are not wrong in what they say, but it is still a punch to the gut to hear it.
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Post by easilydistracted on Jul 9, 2017 20:44:40 GMT
Hi spikeyxxCongrats on the promotion, your abilities have been noticed Your colleagues may be a little jealous that you've been noticed and they haven't especially when you regularly come in late. Or it might look you don't care or you have it easier than them. Some people have a stick up their arse about time-keeping and won't care if you routinely stay an hour or two but will break out the disciplinary stick if you are a few minutes late. Multiple alarms? I have 4 in the morning... 2 for out of bed - one on the opposite side of the room (and it's a loud klaxxon). Two more - one for "leave the house now" and another 5 minutes later for "if you haven't left the house yet you'd better start running!" It was adding the last two that fixed my time-keeping, before that the morning coffee would turn into a timewarp and I'd be late most days.
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Post by marionk on Jul 10, 2017 8:04:39 GMT
I bet you get more done in the rest of the day than they do in the whole day though. There's a reason you got promoted, and those two in particular are probably jealous.
Promotion or any change in work or the work environment, is stressful, and although it's not official advice in this country, it is official in the US, to increase your protein intake when under stress (as well as for strenuous exercise). There are other things that help with stress, but this is my favourite as it doesn't require concentration or time out.
ETA . . . and "Everyone is sick of it and if they won't tell you, I will" translates as "I'm so sick of it, that I think everyone else should be, but even if they are, I'm the only one rude enough to say it."
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spikeyxx
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Posts: 30
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Post by spikeyxx on Jul 30, 2017 19:59:50 GMT
Managed to pull myself together since this, and have been getting in early since this happened.
The person who had a go at me that morning even sort of supported me with something today. My gaff had a go at me for "interfering" and I can't for the life of me understand what the problem was. I was just trying to do what I "thought" was my job to the best of my ability and I must have stepped on his toes.. or at least he must have seen it that way.
A dog was left unsecured by a member of the public, and this is a big no no where I work due to the risk of children being bit. When it came to my attention I shouted out to find out who the dog belonged to, and my gaff shouted me down saying,.stop interfering, you do your job, let me do mine.. then muttered under his breath, "always interfering"
I'm currently unmedicated due to a pharmacy delay, and the emotions running through me after this were very hard to control. I thought I was doing a good job, I dated to have a bit of pride in that, and that series of remarks just cut me in half.
I tried to bite down on my resentment, but the more I tried to, the more it ate me up. In the end I punched a wall and nearly put my hand though it out of the frustration. I hate moments of weakness like that, I always belittle myself for it, but I get so caught up in my own circling thoughts wish I had a little more restraint.
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jamesjay
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Post by jamesjay on Aug 13, 2017 1:30:13 GMT
Spikey have you considered speaking to the guy in private and explaining you don't appreciate how he made you feel? I'm from a working class background whose peer group was very masculine and I'm also an ex soldier who worked in a male only very masculine environment, it's taken me a long time to realise I have not conducted myself properly in the past or comformed to someone else's standard of masculinity in order to not appear weak when in fact the best course of action is firm but reasoned communication. There's many times I've done things like punch walls or end up in physical confrontations because I've felt humiliated by someone's words or actions and have retaliated with a disproportional response. It has been a long time since I've responded like this, I find asking for a word in private and remaining calm and rational even in the face of their hostility is the best way to respond as it makes them look stupid and you reasonable.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2017 12:33:17 GMT
Congrats on the promotion!!! I suppose we should try and remember that we see things they do not. They also see things we do not. From their perspective, it may seem utterly bizarre to see us 'lazy' fuckers getting promotions. From our perspective, it may seem utterly bizarre that they continue to spend 9 x lots of time on something we can see adds zero value to the customer but if we're forced to do it, it could be done with 2 x lots of time anyway. I believe the highest productivity gains are likely to come from the synergy of NT+ND; not one or t'other in isolation. It sometimes helps me to remember I wouldn't scold a toddler for something they couldn't possibly understand. In the same vein, I try not to react too negatively when someone picks me up on my horrendous time keeping. I acknowledge but tend not to apologise. I'm able to do this because I've watched the sheer delight unfold in the face of the people I've helped. The expression that smites the superficial. "Wow. Thank you. Thank you so much!!" One I'm sure you, too, are familiar with
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