dawn
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Posts: 1
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Post by dawn on Oct 22, 2017 20:42:01 GMT
Hi, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 19 and at uni. I never really took it that seriously, especially when I stopped studying. I always thought I could just find a way past it and even doubted the diagnoses. 20 years later I’m the mother of two boys amd share a home with them and partner. The thing is I feel my partner and I are constantly falling out and misunderstanding each other and it happens with other members of my family too. I just feel really confused as I don’t understand why- what it is I’m doing that’s causing the fall outs. I feel anxious a lot and no matter how hard I try to organise my life everything just feels chaotic, messy, hard. I get angry out bursts or really upset easily. And I’m currently suffering from a bit of mild depression (likely caused by lack of sleep as my child still feeds through the night and it just hit me today- after an arguement with my sister then my partner- maybe it’s the adhd. Maybe it is that I just can’t communicate well. I often feel that my loved ones just don’t hear/understand what I’m saying but maybe it’s me- maybe something to do with the adhd is making all this harder. Organising family life is a constant up hill battle yet for others it seems a breeze. Could this be the way adhd plays out as an adult and if so what Can I do about it?!
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iforget
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 14
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Post by iforget on Nov 2, 2017 17:12:01 GMT
I have been reading about this - There's a woman in America called Melissa Orlov who has a website - ADHD and marriage. Really useful. I'm going to get my husband to do her online course.
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Post by Thunderboltsandlightning on Nov 9, 2017 17:29:12 GMT
It definitely can. Prior to my diagnosis I struggled in relationships, but since I've found it much easier going. It's not perfect, but it's better. Talking to those around us can help, trying to learn what aspects of our behaviour can frustrate them and making whatever adjustments are possible, as well as explaining to them why we behave the way we do sometimes and what they can do to help also. It's certainly a two-way street so it comes down to your partner as much as it does you (imho anyway).
I know that a friend of mine (who was diagnosed as a child but stopped taking the medication once he reached adulthood) recently went back to getting treatment (both in the form of therapy and medication) because he started to notice the impact on his marriage. So far it seems to be helping him.
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Post by computermandan on Nov 14, 2017 14:03:41 GMT
I found my way here at 35 and was diagnosed at 36 (now 37) BECAUSE i was having relationship issues. "Why cant i pay attention when i really want to" "Why do i drift off mid conversation" "Why can I never get things finished" "Why does wife say I'm a 4th child?" Just a few of the less dramatic (not so relationship related) google searches that started things. I'd been treated for depression with meds and counselling and it frustrated me and the counsellor that I couldnt do things i set out to do EVER. Agree re Melissa Orlov's book... i have it on kindle and in 3 years am about half way thru - its like reading a story about myself... the whole parent:child syndrome. It makes sense and my wife agreed.... getting her interested enough to help work on it together has been trickier tho. She just wants me "fixed" and embarrassed by FB and twitter posts... to outsiders the opine is generally "move on dude" but life is complicated eh. Maybe when the kids are bigger we can get it right together and I'll try not to drag everyone behind with me lol. Man this sounds depressing... lol. The book and the site adhd and marriage... really helps (at least make sense of things!!) keep smiling and swimming in the mean time
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