slangking
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Post by slangking on Feb 15, 2018 21:54:51 GMT
So do you tell people?
I was diagnosed two months ago, haven't really told many people except my mum , sister, brother and two close friends. Most people are ill informed and have the wrong assumptions on what ADHD is (as did I until the past few years) so I think it's for the best I don't tell anyone. In fact, I think most people don't believe it exists and it's made up which really pisses me off to be honest. This makes a diagnosis of ADHD a bit sad really, i can't exactly share your new found discovery.
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Post by speedy1 on Feb 15, 2018 23:09:42 GMT
Yeah it's a tough one! How do you even fit it into a conversation?
When I was going 4 diagnosis I discussed it with my boss & colleagues at
1 of my jobs in fact my boss answered questions about me 4 my diagnosis
Seeing as I was unable 2 fill out the questionnaires. But my other job 4 some
Reason haven't told them. I guess coz I didn't know what adhd was how can I
Expect them 2? All my friends know & 2 be honest weren't surprised even though
They didn't really know what adhd is but they know I'm "unique" as they put it.
I personally recommend just telling people that know u well they won't change
their opions about u & it'll probably answer alot of questions they have about
certain behaviours u have.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2018 10:45:21 GMT
Nope.
Just as it's near impossible for us to relate to normal D2 receptor binding or normal striatal glucose metabolism, it's impossible for them to relate to a reduction thereof.
Things that can't be related to are instantly discarded by the brain or worse associated to their closest experience. For NTs, this naturally leads them to the conclusion that ADHD = LAZY/CBF/ETC.
I am pretty lazy, though.
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Post by matthew123 on Feb 16, 2018 11:29:06 GMT
I'm a teacher and the first thing one of my colleagues said when I told him about my diagnosis was "I don't believe in it, if it was real, why don't French kids get it?" I've shared some articles with him but he is still highly sceptical that ADHD is a real thing, thinks that it's a made up thing for "big pharma" to make more money.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 16, 2018 11:37:24 GMT
When I was first diagnosed I was so relieved that I wanted to tell everyone!
That lasted about 2 days. . .my mum dismissed it and someone I trusted
told me I didn't have ADHD and thought it was an excuse for bad behaviour . .
So now I'm really careful about who I tell. I told my new work because I
wanted to get coaching via Access to Work and didn't want to lose the job,
due to things I now know are ADHD which have lost me jobs in the past.
I still don't think they actually understand . . .
And this is the problem. . .if we don't tell people, it will remain misunderstood. . .
but *how* to tell people when the response is more than likely to be negative,
hostile, dismissive, or wanting us to explain a series of difficulties which *everyone* has . . .sometimes . . .
As @boost says. .the only point of reference for how brains work, is our own. .
everyone presumes their 'normal' is everyone else's with small variations. . .
How do you describe and a colour, taste or sound to someone who
has never experienced it before?
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 16, 2018 11:43:10 GMT
Although I don't talk about it much in everyday life,
I do spend an awful lot of time talking about ADHD and trying to spread awareness
on Twitter and Facebook and in support groups. . .
I run one and go to 3 other groups when I can.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2018 13:37:37 GMT
I think there's really only one 'how' to tell anyone. Achieve what most would consider virtually impossible and then casually attribute it to your ADHD. Positive reinforcement ftw?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2018 13:47:08 GMT
I'm a teacher and the first thing one of my colleagues said when I told him about my diagnosis was "I don't believe in it, if it was real, why don't French kids get it?" I've shared some articles with him but he is still highly sceptical that ADHD is a real thing, thinks that it's a made up thing for "big pharma" to make more money. A French lady came to a few of the meetings once. She explained ADHD is simply not recognised in France. What I believe she meant is that the typical ADHD traits of creativity, spontaneity and lability are simply synonymous with France itself. Nationalising ADHD strengths ftw? If Carlsberg did coping strategies...
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Post by ADDP on Feb 21, 2018 15:15:56 GMT
I don't tell anyone I have ADD, the reason is... who honestly gives a rats ass? I once made a bold statement during a meeting...cleared my throat, stud up and bravely announced my condition....there was a very uncomfortable silence and they said "ok....moving on then"
The rest of the meeting I was addressed in a manner as if I was slightly hard of hearing!
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gftchris
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Post by gftchris on Feb 21, 2018 17:42:31 GMT
My partner is the one who put me on track to start with, that's one.
My parents were required as a verification of the behaviour in childhood, so two more. I also gave them license to tell my siblings, so another two. Fine. Probably they told their partners. OK.
I've also told a couple of close friends, including one colleague, because I started mind-altering medications and was in the office, so useful to have someone who has some background should something go horribly wrong.
Outside of that, I don't think anybody really needs to know. Like the old 'glasses' metaphor, nobody needs to know if you're wearing contacts for example. If I get into conversations about mental health with a close friend I trust, I might bring it up as a form of personal experience, but that hasn't happened yet.
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fairlight
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Post by fairlight on Mar 13, 2018 16:37:15 GMT
Sadly my experience sharing my diagnosis has been pretty bad. I made the mistake of telling a relative who has more or less ghosted me since telling her. Far from getting any support - she's basically cut me off. The reason is more to do with her own issues so I'm not taking it too personally. My parents almost sabotaged my diagnosis by giving false information about my school days - I struggled all through school and burnt my reports as I was so ashamed of them. My parents reported that all was fine and nothing was wrong with my time at school (these are parents who didn't even notice I stopped attending school during my final year of high school) They're still in complete denial even after I was diagnosed as a classic case of the disorder by a top adhd psychiatrist. This is a great shame for all of us because I know from personal experience how very real and deeply debilitating it is. I contemplated suicide many times and attempted once as a direct result of adhd related problems.
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Post by WombleW on Mar 14, 2018 19:23:38 GMT
I have no plans to tell anybody. I refused to involve anyone else at the diagnosis stage but still got the diagnosis. You're never going to get that cat back into the bag. When I found out how much difference the meds made I definitely felt like telling people, but I'm glad I didn't now.
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