Post by shiveringsky on Aug 27, 2018 0:39:09 GMT
* Lyrical reference. Honestly not doing too badly.
So Im back again. Just restarting titration on the old pal Tranquilyn. Took another semi seismic break down to get my new doc on board but the process was nowhere near as bad as it was back in Kent (Im in Somerset nowdays. Woop!)
I'm a little daunted. It's now... 5ish years since diagnosis and while I understand my brain better than I ever did, I cant say Ive made the progress I hoped I would in that time. My general understanding of why I do things has grown and more importantly I have forgiven myself for the 30 years of feeling like the dumbest idiot on the planet which came before. So things are positive too. Which i think is important for me to take note of. I may not feel like I have gotten much further down this road, but actually being able to hold my head high, laugh off the adhdled mindedness.... it's massive really. But still there is so much work to do. Growth and all that. Acceptance may take a lifetime.
I'm a little daunted. It's now... 5ish years since diagnosis and while I understand my brain better than I ever did, I cant say Ive made the progress I hoped I would in that time. My general understanding of why I do things has grown and more importantly I have forgiven myself for the 30 years of feeling like the dumbest idiot on the planet which came before. So things are positive too. Which i think is important for me to take note of. I may not feel like I have gotten much further down this road, but actually being able to hold my head high, laugh off the adhdled mindedness.... it's massive really. But still there is so much work to do. Growth and all that. Acceptance may take a lifetime.
All of that said, it's now over two years since I had any regular employment. Im finding it nigh on impossible to convince anyone to take a chance on me and so Ive embarked on the NEA program via the jobcenter (Quick quick! Last of the EU sponsored goodness....) Thing is, you know how hard it is filling in forms. And this one is pages long. Formulating my business plan. All the practical bits of being self employed. I want to take control of my situation. Not be beholden to others for work. But Im not entirely sure I can manage it. The Push push push of getting in business and all that. Well like I said, it's daunting. So I just hope this time around, I dont psychosomatically give myself palpatations worrying about the Tranquilyn and its effects.
Keep your fingers crossed for me please!
Keep your fingers crossed for me please!