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Post by entheorize on Dec 22, 2020 5:08:54 GMT
I was treated for ADHD up until age 18 as parents believed I should stop it, at age 21 I was sectioned due to cannabis use causing psychosis, at age 19 I had seen my GP to be re-treated for ADHD but they refused to refer me quite rudly.
I was seen as a malingerer with early psychosis intervention team and was unmedicated for three years thereby at the time at university flunking and dropping out. At this time I was taking various legal highs.
I got referred to ADHD services as it seemed I was not showing true schizophrenic symptoms, unfortunately being unmedicated and on legal highs, after trialling atomoxetine was released without medication, spent several years in an out of psych wards for drug use and diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic.
Here I am now with no relapses for years but without a stimulant being prescribed I take street amphetamine just so I can read a book for instance.
I can't seem to get anywhere in life and getting speed off the street means I'm having to interact with drug users that try to get me to smoke weed and take sleeping pills and anything that's going about. I don't take speed to get high, I take it to feel normal. I am not trying to escape reality, I'm trying to function within it.
There is one thing that will fix my problem and it is Ritalin, thereby removing me from the drugs scene, I need 54mg of Concerta XL a day I estimate.
I am left behind, forgotten and ignored. How am I supposed to better myself when I need a drug that was prescribed to me for several years but nobody is willing to listen or see sense, I'm not an idiot but constantly get treated like one.
It's a terrible waste of my potential and is ruining my life completely, how can I be a part of normal society when I'm constantly having to score speed instead of having a prescription?
I don't know what to do but something's gotta give.
I am going to try to get some sense out of a GP and get a referral again.
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Post by entheorize on Dec 22, 2020 5:53:21 GMT
I can't read a book without modafinil or amphetamine, modafinil gives me headaches consistently and only works sometimes.
I want to read books and journal articles but can't focus without help. I went from GCSE's of a high standard (A,B,B and C's) to straight D's at A-levels but got into university and passed first year but that was it.
It was at the behest of a psychologist my parents were told to take me off methylphenidate as that guy believed the medication wasn't allowing me to mature properly, not a psychiatrist.
Things just got worse and worse since stopping Ritalin and within the last six months or so I was introduced to street speed by a friend, If I took a small enough amount I could read a book or concentrate on a conversation.
Basically I found clarity in thought again after 12 years of fog. I quit all other illegal substances such as marijuana mainly, which has improved my life drastically.
I am stuck doing something illegal so I can read a book! Unless I actually get some help this time!
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Post by entheorize on Jan 1, 2021 21:15:49 GMT
I have managed to get hold of some modafinil and have found 400mg works really well although it lasts a lot longer than other meds like12 hours plus which means must take the dose in the morning before 9. It works out about £1.50 a dose which is quite a lot but I’m sure this is the best I can get at the moment. I can actually get it cheaper than the NHS pay for it online and there have been studies of it for ADHD showing it works.
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Post by entheorize on Jan 25, 2021 14:58:13 GMT
I am now looking at bupropion as an option, initial tests make me hopeful.
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Post by entheorize on Feb 4, 2021 20:38:39 GMT
I spoke to my GP about an ADHD referral saying I was diagnosed as a child and she said exercises on the mind website will help, not that I can find these miraculous exercises. I am finding bupropion as relatively effective but have acquired tinnitus from it (I think). Modafinil sorta works sometimes rather than a sure thing that I thought it would be. If I can take bupropion long term it will cost me about £40 a month which isn't too bad considered.
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Post by entheorize on Feb 10, 2021 18:08:12 GMT
Bupropion is having a good effect, looks like I may be onto a winner, has some research for adult ADHD. I need more time to be certain but I can't fault it as an alternative at the moment.
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Post by entheorize on Mar 18, 2021 21:44:23 GMT
Contracted measles.
3 years of age - moderate traumatic brain injury.
11 years of age - diagnosed ADHD.
18 years of age - discontinue Methylphenidate.
19 years of age - Ask GP for ADHD referral, told that it would not happen.
20 years of age - Cannabis abuse and legal highs.
21 years of age - Go to university however develop psychotic symptoms, first episode psychosis. I decided I did not want to go back to university but was doped with antipsychotics and mood stabilizer, the choice was took away from me which probably was a cause of continued psychiatric symptoms as was forced into situation against my will. Continue studies unmedicated.
Middlesbrough early intervention believe I am feigning symptoms, confirmed by one of the staff. No treatments initiated.
23 years of age - Given adult ADHD Referral.
Begin Atomoxetine however continued illicit drug use causes psychotic like behaviour to continue.
Am released from adult ADHD services and shortly after am sectioned. Leave university, return to Scarborough. Only had two visits to adult ADHD clinic.
Get sectioned repeatedly due to drug use. Cannabis seems to be the constant factor causing symptoms.
Paranoid Schizophrenia diagnosis.
More than five years without being sectioned.
Current situation - I am symptomless as regards Paranoid Schizophrenia and am reducing medication with a view to terminating completely. Drug use, especially cannabis has been quit for over a year.
Feel have adult ADHD - Feel that a correct dose of Concerta XL will improve problems, specifically being able to read a book for instance, a question of quality of life.
Have acquired Ritalin and Amphetamine during this time and was no incidence of psychosis, paranoia excetera, in fact mental health improved with their use above baseline, ability to begin and persist in a task is greatly improved. Social ability is enhanced by medication and am more assertive rather than being under the influence of others. Act in a purposeful way, less distraction.
Obtain dexamphetamine or methylphenidate from internet, have ended contact with the street drug users, have infrequent access to medication and cost is ridiculous. 10x10mg Ritalin cost £55 and dexamphetamine is £6 per 5mg tablet.
Feel that the decision to quit methylphenidate, encouraged by a psychologist in Spain to my parents had a massive deleterious effect that has robbed me of ten years of my life. Before drug use GP was asked for referral and it being declined lead to a downward spiral and substance abuse followed.
State dependent learning theory - I have information available in my mind when medicated that is inaccessible otherwise, most of my education was while under the influence of methylphenidate.
Realise I have been referred before and was released without treatment but now is the time to finally get treatment that I have requested repeatedly, I have no doubt treatment is the only option for happiness and future success.
My social standing and ability for employment are dependent on gaining access to treatment via legal means, have never been in trouble with police but recognise illegal activity is a risk I am taking at the moment. I would plead medicinal use if in a legal situation.
Am completely reliant on social security at the moment, have limited social contact apart from family and the odd course arranged by the local council for employability.
I take Bupropion in between times when I am able to take ADHD medications, it has some beneficial effect but is barely effective compared.
Looking to re-integrate into society after being outsider for various reasons. Important to build social capital and form new relationships.
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Post by entheorize on Dec 24, 2021 10:52:51 GMT
Things are better, spent a few months on Ritalin and it straightened me out considerably and am now on 60mg Atomoxetine.
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Post by entheorize on Jul 9, 2022 15:03:57 GMT
Stopped taking Atomoxetine and have reverted to Street Amphetamine which legalities aside when properly dosed is a god send, still 2 years until I may get my referral, wish I had somebody's neck to choke sometimes with all this BS
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