Post by andy12345 on Jun 12, 2009 13:45:29 GMT
DISCLAIMER.
I do tend to go on and on and on and on and er .....on.......
I don't take things seriously unless I get criticised unfairly or I perceive insults...However, just be honest and fair in your comments and if you are going to criticise please .......be constructive.. By the way, I am not looking for violin quality sympathy here, I am just trying to stimlulate discussion on a subject which I sometimes hold dearly, namely my life.....versus my existence.... As I told the "experts" already, I exist, I don't live........... I am like the friend that people put in the cupboard on a coat hanger and bring out when it's useful.
I don't go to parties, or socialise, unless I really know the people very well or I know that the people that create the party could be trusted. Well, I have only been to about 5 parties in my life since 13, so what can I say?
Socially avoidant etc. My attitude to most things is, why bother?
OMG this post is just far too long. I wonder how long my posts would be if I did not have good typing skills? Let it flow, I say..........
It seems that I basically rejected my parents hugs etc at a young age, not sure why, I still don't show any love or affection to anyone really at age 34 BUT, I AM LIKE A ROBOT trying to be nice and helpful BUT WHY?................Is that ADHD or emotional detachment, ASD/ BPD/ what??? any ideas would be interesting?
I am currently on the way to approaching doc for Adult ADHD referral and doing psychotherapy- suspected personality disorder.......maybe emotional detachment....he said...
I just want to get correctly diagnosed so I can proceed with "having a life" that's all. Is it too much too ask?
-------------------------
Apparently at the age of 5 I liked watching washing machines and I was impossible to leave at a childcare centre, I was nervous of my father, even though I don't know why.. I was quiet as my mother says, never hyper. I was unfit, but do hyper people have a capability to get fat, I doubt it.......so therefore, I was fat because I was inattentive or depressed? I don't remember feeling depressed though......
My mum's friend also told me that at age 5 ish I "did not suffer fools gladly" and I was always too sensible, reserved.........
Anyway........
Links first lol..
As well as AD/HD mainly inattentive, I have very stong symptoms of this.
1) www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/dysthymic_disorder.htm (note the medical conditions that have to be ruled out.......) and don't forget treatment resistant depression)
Dysthymia at the bottom
2) www.depressioncenter.net/CM/EducationCMStaticPage.aspx?pageid=Education_1
The document (7 pages) below (WHICH MY DOC DID NOT LIKE. IT IS GOOD THAT HE IS OBJECTIVE...BUT WE ALL HAVE TO DO OUR OWN RESEARCH, RIGHT?.) is very strong and detailed, quite painful in fact if you know the feelings it causes. Note particularly the info about the amygdala (almond sized panic centre's in the brain) and the hippocampus (considered to be the working memory area)
3) www.depressionny.com/q&a-dysthymicdisorder.pdf
It describes me very well......as does the eeoyore ADHD type below..
For the record, most people to date, are usually not diagnosed with dysthymic disorder AKA dysthymia for about 15-20 years......Interesting eh?
Take childhood depression........and it turns to dysthymic disorder, mimicking strong symptoms of inattentive ADHD..in my opinion.
One more link......
There is nothing more shocking than reading about yourself, is there?
What type of ADHD are you?
I do fit the eeyore -----ADHD+ depression state (dysthymic)
4) www.depressionforums.org/forums/Types-Styles-Adhd-t1291.html
Another lengthy link -needs updating but adds some interesting knowledge if you read -WARNING some pro's may consider this document slightly in need of updating or maybe controversial - make your own judgements.....
(the link is also in my signature......)
5) www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=759&showall=1
Of course, in time, it may be found that depression at such a young age is possible that causes symptoms of ADHD for life.........who knows?
I certainly don't................only the "experts" do
----------------------------------
Waffle starts here.........
Round and round I go.. I am unemployed so I have plenty of time spare, but, guess what? I can't use it at all because I feel so confused, stop/starting on all and sundry tasks and I get tired unless mentally stimulated. However, I am bored of it all, so I just reduce my life circle day by day, week by week... I don't even have to do much as I have really left my parents to get on with things.
I am soon to approach my doctor and ask for an ADHD specialist appointment. I am procrastinating on that currently. I know that it's an extremely important thing and nothing else really matters, because unless I get diagnosed ADHD (I suspect inattentive) I will just do the same old roundabout routine. I can honestly say that I have not achieved much in life at all, apart from those times where I become the tail wagging puppy and start on another "diversion/stimulation" event.
I don't have hobbies as I just go from one "oooooh" moment to another....
For me, it's more exciting to order something from the internet and wait for it. When it actually arrives, well, it soon fades, unless it's really useful and has many buttons/features to play with.
My computer is my one tool but I don't class it as a hobby machine.
I am starting to flow now as I type.. Try to keep up lol.
I am surrounded by piles of paperwork from creditors that I need to deal with, but as I am on incapacity benefit/psychotherapy I will soon be sending them all letters of epic magnitude that try to sum up every point and make official complaints to them where necessary. I can touch type quite fast. Poss. 40 WPM.
I do wonder if I have true AD/HD whether it is hyperactive/inattentive or combined.
I also notice that following the DSM-IV-TR (USA) stance on diagnosis makes it easier to get diagnosed which does concern me a little bit because of the fear of conspiracy theories regarding mass medication.
After all, what is a normal person? I suppose I could only say that it is one who is satisfied with their life and can take the good and bad without becoming a volcano or a withdrawn lifeform.
Obviously, I am aware that depression and other medical issues can emulate some aspects of ADHD but I don't believe that every symptom can be mimicked which is why the checklists are a good thing and the more questions the better, unless they are deliberately designed to get people into the medication route (conspiracy theory)
Of course, some people say ADHD does not exist. Other's call it a neurodiversity instead of a disorder, ie, different wiring.
That is why, when I approached my doctor last year, I was careful not to do the standard thing which is say "I have ADHD etc"
Instead, I always maintain that "I have symptoms of ADHD-mainly inattentive, etc "
I say this to them to clarify that I understand that true AD/HD and not "other medical condition" triggered ADHD are 2 different things.
However, my approach still FAILed because they ultimately have to start at the beginning, usually with anti-depressants, which did nothing for me at all during the 8 months that I took them.
So, I am posting on here to try and clarify with the people who know best....do I have AD/HD of some type or is another medical condition or a personality disorder crossover or both or who knows what?
When I get a few more answers from here, I will make my trek to the doc, slightly more secure that he will do his bit and "refer me" to a specialist.
I still wonder to myself "what is true AD/HD"?
If, for instance you have mild symptoms of hyperactivity, is that just excess sugars/hyperactivity inducing chemicals or just slight excitement induced mania, or is it bipolar or well you get the idea.......I just can't be bothered to go on with this post actually. My good phase has fallen away.
With the massive amount of genetic/heriditary possibilities present in the human genome, is it ANY surprise that anything is possible?
Are animals susceptible to the same disorders as humans?
Surely, they must be, due to genetics?
Hence, why crossbreeds are usually more stable and tougher physically and probably mentally.
I would welcome discussions on me, for those who are willing.
Within a week or so, I may have more answers that help to conclude my confidence that I do have AD/HD mainly inattentive and then visit the doctor with more confidence and not feel like I am wasting valuable funds of the NHS.
I do tend to go on and on and on and on and er .....on.......
I don't take things seriously unless I get criticised unfairly or I perceive insults...However, just be honest and fair in your comments and if you are going to criticise please .......be constructive.. By the way, I am not looking for violin quality sympathy here, I am just trying to stimlulate discussion on a subject which I sometimes hold dearly, namely my life.....versus my existence.... As I told the "experts" already, I exist, I don't live........... I am like the friend that people put in the cupboard on a coat hanger and bring out when it's useful.
I don't go to parties, or socialise, unless I really know the people very well or I know that the people that create the party could be trusted. Well, I have only been to about 5 parties in my life since 13, so what can I say?
Socially avoidant etc. My attitude to most things is, why bother?
OMG this post is just far too long. I wonder how long my posts would be if I did not have good typing skills? Let it flow, I say..........
It seems that I basically rejected my parents hugs etc at a young age, not sure why, I still don't show any love or affection to anyone really at age 34 BUT, I AM LIKE A ROBOT trying to be nice and helpful BUT WHY?................Is that ADHD or emotional detachment, ASD/ BPD/ what??? any ideas would be interesting?
I am currently on the way to approaching doc for Adult ADHD referral and doing psychotherapy- suspected personality disorder.......maybe emotional detachment....he said...
I just want to get correctly diagnosed so I can proceed with "having a life" that's all. Is it too much too ask?
-------------------------
Apparently at the age of 5 I liked watching washing machines and I was impossible to leave at a childcare centre, I was nervous of my father, even though I don't know why.. I was quiet as my mother says, never hyper. I was unfit, but do hyper people have a capability to get fat, I doubt it.......so therefore, I was fat because I was inattentive or depressed? I don't remember feeling depressed though......
My mum's friend also told me that at age 5 ish I "did not suffer fools gladly" and I was always too sensible, reserved.........
Anyway........
Links first lol..
As well as AD/HD mainly inattentive, I have very stong symptoms of this.
1) www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/dysthymic_disorder.htm (note the medical conditions that have to be ruled out.......) and don't forget treatment resistant depression)
Dysthymia at the bottom
2) www.depressioncenter.net/CM/EducationCMStaticPage.aspx?pageid=Education_1
The document (7 pages) below (WHICH MY DOC DID NOT LIKE. IT IS GOOD THAT HE IS OBJECTIVE...BUT WE ALL HAVE TO DO OUR OWN RESEARCH, RIGHT?.) is very strong and detailed, quite painful in fact if you know the feelings it causes. Note particularly the info about the amygdala (almond sized panic centre's in the brain) and the hippocampus (considered to be the working memory area)
3) www.depressionny.com/q&a-dysthymicdisorder.pdf
It describes me very well......as does the eeoyore ADHD type below..
For the record, most people to date, are usually not diagnosed with dysthymic disorder AKA dysthymia for about 15-20 years......Interesting eh?
Take childhood depression........and it turns to dysthymic disorder, mimicking strong symptoms of inattentive ADHD..in my opinion.
One more link......
There is nothing more shocking than reading about yourself, is there?
What type of ADHD are you?
I do fit the eeyore -----ADHD+ depression state (dysthymic)
4) www.depressionforums.org/forums/Types-Styles-Adhd-t1291.html
Another lengthy link -needs updating but adds some interesting knowledge if you read -WARNING some pro's may consider this document slightly in need of updating or maybe controversial - make your own judgements.....
(the link is also in my signature......)
5) www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=759&showall=1
Of course, in time, it may be found that depression at such a young age is possible that causes symptoms of ADHD for life.........who knows?
I certainly don't................only the "experts" do
----------------------------------
Waffle starts here.........
Round and round I go.. I am unemployed so I have plenty of time spare, but, guess what? I can't use it at all because I feel so confused, stop/starting on all and sundry tasks and I get tired unless mentally stimulated. However, I am bored of it all, so I just reduce my life circle day by day, week by week... I don't even have to do much as I have really left my parents to get on with things.
I am soon to approach my doctor and ask for an ADHD specialist appointment. I am procrastinating on that currently. I know that it's an extremely important thing and nothing else really matters, because unless I get diagnosed ADHD (I suspect inattentive) I will just do the same old roundabout routine. I can honestly say that I have not achieved much in life at all, apart from those times where I become the tail wagging puppy and start on another "diversion/stimulation" event.
I don't have hobbies as I just go from one "oooooh" moment to another....
For me, it's more exciting to order something from the internet and wait for it. When it actually arrives, well, it soon fades, unless it's really useful and has many buttons/features to play with.
My computer is my one tool but I don't class it as a hobby machine.
I am starting to flow now as I type.. Try to keep up lol.
I am surrounded by piles of paperwork from creditors that I need to deal with, but as I am on incapacity benefit/psychotherapy I will soon be sending them all letters of epic magnitude that try to sum up every point and make official complaints to them where necessary. I can touch type quite fast. Poss. 40 WPM.
I do wonder if I have true AD/HD whether it is hyperactive/inattentive or combined.
I also notice that following the DSM-IV-TR (USA) stance on diagnosis makes it easier to get diagnosed which does concern me a little bit because of the fear of conspiracy theories regarding mass medication.
After all, what is a normal person? I suppose I could only say that it is one who is satisfied with their life and can take the good and bad without becoming a volcano or a withdrawn lifeform.
Obviously, I am aware that depression and other medical issues can emulate some aspects of ADHD but I don't believe that every symptom can be mimicked which is why the checklists are a good thing and the more questions the better, unless they are deliberately designed to get people into the medication route (conspiracy theory)
Of course, some people say ADHD does not exist. Other's call it a neurodiversity instead of a disorder, ie, different wiring.
That is why, when I approached my doctor last year, I was careful not to do the standard thing which is say "I have ADHD etc"
Instead, I always maintain that "I have symptoms of ADHD-mainly inattentive, etc "
I say this to them to clarify that I understand that true AD/HD and not "other medical condition" triggered ADHD are 2 different things.
However, my approach still FAILed because they ultimately have to start at the beginning, usually with anti-depressants, which did nothing for me at all during the 8 months that I took them.
So, I am posting on here to try and clarify with the people who know best....do I have AD/HD of some type or is another medical condition or a personality disorder crossover or both or who knows what?
When I get a few more answers from here, I will make my trek to the doc, slightly more secure that he will do his bit and "refer me" to a specialist.
I still wonder to myself "what is true AD/HD"?
If, for instance you have mild symptoms of hyperactivity, is that just excess sugars/hyperactivity inducing chemicals or just slight excitement induced mania, or is it bipolar or well you get the idea.......I just can't be bothered to go on with this post actually. My good phase has fallen away.
With the massive amount of genetic/heriditary possibilities present in the human genome, is it ANY surprise that anything is possible?
Are animals susceptible to the same disorders as humans?
Surely, they must be, due to genetics?
Hence, why crossbreeds are usually more stable and tougher physically and probably mentally.
I would welcome discussions on me, for those who are willing.
Within a week or so, I may have more answers that help to conclude my confidence that I do have AD/HD mainly inattentive and then visit the doctor with more confidence and not feel like I am wasting valuable funds of the NHS.