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Post by Hedgehog on Dec 13, 2021 10:49:26 GMT
Hello! My husband has ADD but does not want to take medication. His work hours are 9-5 Monday-Friday but he often gets behind, so throughout the weekend, he will keep saying he is going to catch up on work. He often finally gets started at midnight Sunday night and works all night then has to actually go to work on Monday morning. This is not the best for him as then he has to do the full week exhausted - probably counterproductive to catching up overall. He admits he is the best ever at procrastination How can I help him with his routine? Thank you!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2021 13:15:53 GMT
Some might say it's anxiety, others might say it's fundamentally ADHD.
Have you seen this video?
'You can know stuff but you won't do stuff.' 'All interventions must be out there in the environment.'
Easiest way to help him is to pretend he's a dementia patient. Do whatever you can to fill the massive void in his working memory. Do whatever you can to force his mind to acknowledge the present, no matter which room he's in.
1. Large faced analogue clocks everywhere might be a good start.
2. At least one full page calendar somewhere in the house so he can feel present in the current month relative to the year, too, perhaps.
3. A large whiteboard.
I suspect sometimes work related procrastination stems from the inability to hold a full 'dependency tree' in mind whilst attempting to compute an outcome. Pen and paper can help as pretend working memory but you kinda know you're going to lose this bit of paper at some point and then you risk someone uncovering your scrawls.
The other side of this equation is also worth exploring. Is the procrastination the result of wanting to do a FANTASTIC job of something and deeming the current environment / time left inadequate to do so? Is it possible he is not putting himself first? Does he have any other sources of esteem outside of work?
Many of us do not, I suspect. This means we go all in on work stuff instead of the 30% - 50% we should give. Finding an alternate source of esteem might automatically correct the 9 to 5 issue because suddenly, we have to be much more choosy with our time, perhaps?
Finally, lifting heavy weights once a week (heavy enough to make you contort your face like a cartoon character) should help lessen any dithering.
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Post by toocoolforschool on Dec 15, 2021 11:34:30 GMT
The first post of this is missing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2021 0:00:52 GMT
Try on your mobile.
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Post by constructivemadness on Jan 14, 2022 9:52:57 GMT
Procrastination is DEFINITELY a symptom of ADHD. It tends to happen more when things lose their novelty and get stale. Just a thought, but it could be that if your husband stands back enough to consider things clearly, he’ll realise that he’s bored in his job and he just doesn’t want to do it any more. If he doesn’t have a strong emotional attachment to his work or workplace, he’ll find it really hard to force himself to put the effort in until the fear of failure kicks in hard at the last minute. If this is the case, maybe he should consider applying for a job at a different workplace? If the work suits him but he’s just been there too long and got a bit bored (different timescales for different people, but many “normal” people these days change jobs every couple of years anyway), a similar role with a different employer should give him the adrenaline kick and the novelty to really get him stuck in again. Good luck!
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Post by Hedgehog on Jan 25, 2022 11:41:11 GMT
Thank you all very much for your replies!!
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Post by Rossall on Jan 25, 2022 11:44:16 GMT
Thank you all very much for your replies!! Post not showing so I've reposted it.
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