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Post by andy12345 on Jul 19, 2009 9:08:07 GMT
For those of you diagnosed with ad/hd, how did it affect your abilities to find a girlfriend/boyfriend in your younger years?
Did you start a proper relationship later than average, say 16, 18, 20, ooer 25 etc.......
Did you just sort of fall into the relationship?
How long did your first relationship last?
How does AD/HD affect your finding/securing a partner in later years?
Have you used online dating instead of the rigmarole of actually "getting out there" as they say.?
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Post by Mouse on Jul 19, 2009 11:09:36 GMT
In late teens and twenties I never lacked boyfriends or would-be boyfriends. Trouble was I just didn't understand myself half the time and that, combined with my total selfishness, meant that generally relationships were shortlived and the ones that lasted longer eventually busted under the strain of my insecurities and emotional rollercoastering at about the 18 month mark.
I had a really fantastic boyfriend at uni and treated him appallingly. I I could ring him up and explain about the ADD but I won't because that is all in the past.
I didn't get married until my early thirties and my husband is the best. I love him to bits. There was no huge on-line dating back then so I got off my backside and made sure I got involved in organising and attending social events and that is how I met my OH.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2009 12:04:25 GMT
i've always been lucky. first long term relationship started at 17, she was awesome. i didn't fall into it, i saw her and said to my friend "man, she's an absolute godess!" then i spent the next 12 months pretending to be marlon brando whenever she was around! -eventually i asked her out, and she said yes (i was SO nervous when i asked her, i had to keep my hands in my pockets so she couldn't see me shaking!) she later told me she'd liked me from the moment she first saw me, so i'd wasted a whole year, brando-ing around for nothing!!! ADHD has affected my relationships in lots of ways!... but since getting diagnosed, things have been lots better for me. (though i'm single at the moment) one thing i will say, in my humble experience, i think that once young ladies get to about 26 they tend to look for someone more reliable, with a steady job, good career prospects etc... and i don't really have that stuff in place. me and the ex broke up around february, when that happened i decided i needed to focus on myself, dealing with my new-found ADHD and sorting out a few things, so i resolved to not date anyone for a year. so that's where i am now. -never used online dating, don't want to either. when the time's right for me, i'll find a poor unsuspecting lady and sweep her off her feet! ;D -MM
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Post by Atticus on Jul 19, 2009 12:31:54 GMT
This is a topic which I would really like to discuss but unfortunately I have met so many other people on here it would be like washing my dirty linen in public...
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Post by andy12345 on Jul 19, 2009 12:52:35 GMT
Matt, I really do understand the "get things in place" comments. I have many things to do and establish in life and I am......(shhhhh.. don't tell anyone, 34!) LOL. Atticus, Truth is truth and it's your choice. We do have to maintain an element of anonymity where it matters. I have become a bit bulletproof because no one can hurt me. (famous last words until it happens).........
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Post by redneck on Jul 19, 2009 13:42:09 GMT
Yeah tricky - 2 failed relationships with control frealks lasting 12 and 7 years respectively (only cos I was too young and scared to speak my mind .......) One happy marrigae for 13 years with .... an OCD ADHD TS adhder .. hmm .... Perfect ;D
RR
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