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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2008 11:12:20 GMT
I have this thing, ok I love my own company and spend a lot of time alone, but wen it comes to doin anything out of my natural enviroment I find bein alone and doin it v difficult, whether its shoppin meetin people, goin to appointments or goin out in general, am i weird? Is their a reason for this? jus wonderin
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Post by pinkbeauty on Sept 1, 2008 11:39:57 GMT
I have this thing, ok I love my own company and spend a lot of time alone, but wen it comes to doin anything out of my natural enviroment I find bein alone and doin it v difficult, whether its shoppin meetin people, goin to appointments or goin out in general, am i weird? Is their a reason for this? jus wonderin Asha, its really weird cos I'm exactly like that. For years and years its been noticeable that I can only get things done when people are with me, its very waring on my friends and family! But, yes, I totaly identify with what you're saying. I sometimes feel like I can't cope on my own. PB
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2008 11:42:08 GMT
i feel the same, i also find having somebody around stires my motivation to do chores like cleaning or decorating even if there not helping out just having sombody around motivates me i also sometimes find myself cleaning up the kitchen while making a tea for visitors though i think thats coz im not really aware bothered of the mess till sombody else sees it and then i get conious about it
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2008 18:16:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2008 18:19:03 GMT
PS: So shame a good motivator? No but I have a real fear of goin out alone but I love bein at home alone doin my own thing and i LOVE my own company, contradiction much?
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Post by haydreamer on Sept 7, 2008 13:46:02 GMT
I am exactly like that too, love my own company, but without any form of structure or someone being around to nag me, or give me a reason to get motivated, I am just like a floating bubble, then when needing to be with others, just have to learn to recconect again and find my ability to fine tune my social skills and then learn to answer questions again in my head without going blank in my head and worrrying that I can be articulate:)
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2008 9:22:29 GMT
I love my own space in time.
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Post by random on Oct 17, 2008 7:01:55 GMT
I have a similar dilemma. I find I need other people to give me focus, but also need space to myself.
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Post by Mouse on Oct 19, 2008 9:54:08 GMT
Hello Agree 100%. Always get more done when there is some sort of external force present.
Eg if I'm lying on sofa watching TV OH will go into kitchen and start tidying and I feel guilty and compelled to get up and help him. I'm quite happy when I'm started on the task especially if we are chatting about things while we do it.
When I'm at home alone I get more done if I don't turn on the puter or the TV! If I have the radio on or some favourite music I am quite happy to be by myself.
As for going off to appointments or off shopping sometimes it is the hardest thing to get out of the house.. I dither, delay, procrastinate, faff, and get annoyed at fact of having to go out.
I think sometimes it is to do with leaving the safety of home
Other times it is because I just cannot be bothered with the hassle to interreacting with anyone, answering stupid questions, negotiating a supermarket aisle and dealing with p*ss poor labelling, stupid drivers, etc etc etc.
On the other hand, I've just started back at work and I love being in an environment where there are targets, where I get to speak to people on the phone, solve problems, give out information, etc. All short sharp matters which you deal with then get on with the next one. Nothing should get long winded and drawn out so it doesn't have time to become boring.
I work with a lot of other people but I don't really have to interreact with them if I don't feel like it. I can come into work, plug in computer bung on the headphones and just get on with taking calls.
It is very structured and rigid and I like that. In fact it is having a knock on effect at home because I am spending hardly any time at all on the computer - but it may be that my brain is too zonked to do anything remotely like thinking after being on the phone and looking at a computer screen all day. I haven't even been on here for ages.
Asha's description of a cleaning spree in case of being caught out by relatives rings v true with me. Hate visitors just dropping by and before my parents come to stay I'l have run myself exhausted doing a spring clean of everything - though there'll always be something that I forget to do!
Mouse
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 7, 2009 11:02:48 GMT
Well, I am bringing this highly relevant thread up. Most of you agreed with shame of being seen to be untidy shame? Is it also possibly another way of just avoiding a long, stressful conversation that you know will end in the usual armageddon of a pointless "you are so messy, why don't you sort your life out, omg noob can't you even empty the bin before it turns to a pile of blue green mouldy spores with the methane output of an anerobic digester?" The first thing that people with a mental ailment do, same as animals do with physical issues, is cover it up, so it does not exist, especially with paranoia issues or fear or mental facilities grabbing you. I was going to post something similar with an analogy to power saving cpu's/standy/hibernate etc. So, I understand exactly what everyone wrote about in this thread. Here's my perspective. I see myself as a cpu that has maybe 4 power saving modes - 1) Active/Alive 2) Moving around/Alive 3) Gearing up for some event, in case it happens, idling up and down a gear, ready for it. 4) Hibernating, sleeping/thinking/procrastinating I don't think depression symptoms help the feeling at all. Mode 1 happens when I find a very stimulating computer game or something new happens in life but particularly active like weight training or cooking frenzy or particularly boxing on wii fit. Mode 2 happens when I move around, with or without body and mind stuck in treacle feeling, walking somewhere, plodding along etc. Mode 3 happens when I am waiting to be pickup up to go somewhere or know that I need to be ready for something. It's a particularly irritating mode as it's on the border of hibernation, so I generally lie in bed just thinking "here we go again". READ aadduk.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1431Mode 4 Is horrendous, on the verge of body decay and lack of hope/direction/motivation. No enthusiasm etc etc. This mode is the most destruction, as I am sure you will agree and is not helped by the compulsive/over thinking without conclusion.l Does that make sense? There could be 5 modes or even 6 perhaps.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2009 8:27:37 GMT
i like doing things alone oooooo yes
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Post by laura on Aug 17, 2009 18:50:58 GMT
i love doing things alone, but to actually get things done i need someone with me if im on my own i just move from task to task or get stuck in a book/ on the internet
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 18, 2009 0:06:04 GMT
Give us your address and we'll all come around and by the time we have finished telling you what to do, you will never, ever, forget to cook dinner/breathe in- breathe out/ do washing, put rubbish out ------again!!!! Well, you might, but you must admit, it started out good......
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Post by laura on Aug 18, 2009 0:18:49 GMT
it stared out good, and i would remember until youd all left i think ill jus decorate my house in post-its, colour full, cheap and easy to change when i get bored... may not be useful for retreiving information
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Post by boo on Aug 18, 2009 19:07:53 GMT
im pretty much the same as you laura but it depends what it is. if it is something i enjoy then i like to tackle it by myself and anyone around me would just get on my nerves and feel like they were hovering over me, but if its a task i dont like or havent really got any inclination for, i do need someone around just to help it along or at least get me started even if they are just 'there'. actually, i find the same with my kids, if i would like for them to do a chore, like the washing up, if i am there drying up, they seem to get on with it much better and i have lost count of the amount of times my daughter has called me in to another room 'just for a chat' when she was doing something she quite clearly found irksome or boring ps the post it wallpaper sounds good, no fiddly lining up of patterns either job done!
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Post by laura on Aug 18, 2009 20:23:12 GMT
i find the same with my son, if he needs to tidy up or get dressed he'l manage to get it done with me in the room, if i leave him alone he'l protest or ill find him playing with nothing but one sock and a t-shirt on(if im lucky), watching tele or looking for something really important. when we are both trying to get ready seperately for school in the mornings its a nightmare! i can count the number of times we got there on time on my fingers ;D
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Post by boo on Aug 18, 2009 21:09:01 GMT
i found it was worse getting my daughter outta the house for school and we were always rushing and tearing about, but sending my son to school a day before they were due back is surely taking the getting there a little early a bit too far me thinks, i thought it was a bit strangely quiet walking up to the school and was really pleased with myself that we were able to take a nice gentle stroll and not a mad scramble like normal and really thought it was cos i had got out before the rush for a change and then realised that it was so quiet cos everyone was still indoors actually, inside the house had been quite manic and i felt awful afterwards for having nagged at my son 'c'mon were gonna be late.... again!' before we left still i spose it was better than the time i sent him back a whole day late on his first day back after the summer holidays
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Post by haydreamer on Aug 20, 2009 20:56:12 GMT
I do enjoy my own company , but too much time is not helpful, as I seem to overthink situations, thoughts whizzing in my head- thinking of the past and worried about what I said to someone months ago!! Like Randon, like people to help me focus, also need motivation of others especially for housework, yuk!!
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Post by boo on Aug 20, 2009 23:03:35 GMT
but too much time is not helpful, as I seem to overthink situations, thoughts whizzing in my head- thinking of the past and worried about what I said to someone months ago!! uh-hu yep
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 21, 2009 7:45:26 GMT
Snap! too much dwelling on things. What is it, a hyper conscience and/or low executive functioning unable to tell one to snap out of it?
Give me drugssssssssssss. Er, meds....
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Post by haydreamer on Aug 21, 2009 21:57:42 GMT
yeah I need meds..... to shut the chatter up!!
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 21, 2009 22:08:35 GMT
Hey, I don't chat that much, do I?
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Post by haydreamer on Aug 21, 2009 22:14:30 GMT
Andy, i'm joking, lol, its my chatter in my head that needs shutting up!!
i find that listening to five live radio great cos the discussions help me not to drift and overthink rubbish, whereas listening to music too long, makes me float in some outer world and I can't get back to earth quick enough!
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 21, 2009 22:20:16 GMT
I was joking as well.........Dry humour...........Wait, don't tell me you knew I was joking. Ahh, the infamous double bluff..
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2009 22:24:31 GMT
i think this self concousness links to what i read on thread about head injurys and anxiety that made scense or i related to if that makes scense
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Post by haydreamer on Aug 21, 2009 22:39:40 GMT
Ahh, you got it, double bluff, don't u just love it:)!!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2009 22:42:14 GMT
Wow, I love this forum. Every time I am on here I find a new thread that reflects on sth I'd been mulling over myself...
I love my own company. Sometimes to the extent that I worry about the future because I know my partner will want to move in together...and I love my own little flat to escape to (although it's in a state...). I think if I ever get married my hen night will consist of a weekend away on my own somewhere lovely - Perthshire is currently top of the list...
I'd be really interested to hear from those of you that are married or cohabiting whether you feel that giving up some of your own company is worth it in exchange for someone being there helping to control the procrastination etc. Sorry if that sounds cynical - I am genuinely interested though!
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 21, 2009 22:43:55 GMT
That doorbell, lol........
I have er.. lived alone for ever in one way, but not another. I live with my parents (aaaaaaaaaah) and I have quite a bit of contempt for them lol as well as for myself (I don't let myself get away with my own actions!!!!!)
I have no intention to leave at this time because I fear the lonesome issue will finish me.
So, I am hoping that with treatment for some of the issues I suspect, I will finally live a normal :S o.O life.
So, like heifa, I look forward to answers regarding her question...
In my current way of thinking, I know that I could not cohabit with someone in a relationship, so I bide my time, yawnnnnnnn.
I certainly do believe strongly that "perceived stress" is one of my biggest mental antagonists no. I say perceived to indicate that it does not necessarily have to be anything tough but just enough to get my brain misfiring all over the shop.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2009 23:01:21 GMT
heifa78 Junior Member
should be watchin rus brand hes going on about co habitin now funny as
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Post by laura on Aug 22, 2009 19:10:04 GMT
hello sorry dont really have any useful advice but id also like to know how you can make living together work? i dont know if i could do it, ive never really got to that stage in a relationship i get claustrophibic and leave them before then! i love having my own space and doubt anyone would be able to put up with the mess and clutter. im the opposite of a home maker, not domesticated at all. domestically challenged ;D so the question on all our minds. how do you do it?
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