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Post by laura on Nov 9, 2009 19:04:07 GMT
hello, i have my 2nd assessment tomoro with a psychiatrist and the mental health nurse i saw last time. im soo nervous, i got the write up of my 1st assessment through the post last week (which was a suprise because i forgot i was waiting for it) i dont know what to think of it tbh, i think im reading too much into it. she obviously didnt listen to me at times and in the section where she states the concerns i rose she wrote she said that she has been feeling that this diagnosis has fit her for 2 months although she now thinks it has been forever. she said she has always felt different. i dont like how it reads. she speaks to me like im stupid on the phone and i have the feeling she thinks that i just want to blame something for my difficulties and jump on the adhd bandwagon! i dont know what to say to them and having both of them for the assessment is a bit daunting. ive been asking my mum lots of qs about my childhood and until my hormones kicked in at 12ish there was nothing major and she cant remember from when i was 4-6 because her dad died just after i was 4. ive always been a daydreamer, vivid imagination, very inquisitive, not much sticktoitness with hobbies clubs ect, fussy eater. but did well at school, was a very nice little girl but even that went downhill in secondary school. i did do alot of reading around the subjects at home until secondary school, i loved reading but never had a quick recall, with like times tables, mental arithmatic even tho i can easily do them. my favourite phrase from my school reports was from when i was 6 my teacher wrote she is able to lose herself in her writing and seems to be unaware of anything going on around her, she also noted i had good ideas but found it difficult to put them into practice. ive also had a adult dyslexia test at uni which showed slow, reading writing and proccessing. sorry for rambling ive just been having days where i doubt its ADD even tho im so sure on others. and dont want to waste peoples time. but at the same time know i cant carry on like this, thankyou for reading if youve got this far
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 19:31:05 GMT
Jesus,
NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUERSITION,
Cant believe how people are left hanging, makes me sooooooooo mad ! aaarrggg
even if not ADHD like am thinkin it will help till do find what the hell!
Sorry that didnt help if this happened to me I would be on the blower to legal maybee that would make them sit up dont play there game play your own!
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Post by .... on Nov 9, 2009 20:12:32 GMT
If it moves like a chicken, acts like a chicken and eats chicken food it probably just our rabbit Sophie ;D (we raised her with a bunch of baby chicks and she grew up confused. My bad.)
Point is though, you feel like there is something going on with you that needs some attention. And you are darn well entitled to get that investigated. You aren't wasting anyones time! Give the pyschiatrist the information they need to figure out what the problem is and see how it goes from there. Write down everything you want to cover tomorrow, in case you forget once there. I wouldn't worry overly about the way the Doc talks to you. It sounds like it must be patronising, and irritating for you to put up with, but Doctors the world over are trained to dumb down their language so its not necessarily a reflection of how she sees you.
Will cross fingers tomoz that all goes well for you. x x
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 9, 2009 20:26:43 GMT
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Post by forgetnotme on Nov 10, 2009 0:13:15 GMT
good luck laura (feel free to miss all this and go to the bottom)xxx Sounds to me like she has got your feelings down quite succinnctly as far as she can. that is probably as far as she can comprehend. don't doubt yourself but go with an open mind. write down what you want to say,although this is probably to late now. I'm sure I remember you posting about the stuff you took with you last time. read some of the advice you got in your she believed me "The way I see my journey, the general psyc was just that, had some adhd experience and also much more general other experience. This session was useful as they went through a lot of stuff and ruled out depression stress and bipolar etc etc and got me referred to the ADHD specialist cause they thought it was ADHD. After all we wouldn't want the few specialists we have got getting clogged up with lots of people who haven't got ADHD but have got something else. That's the mature reflective sensible 20/20 hindsight view. At the time I was well grumpy. " from twix "i spose if you pull together the list of symptoms that apply and anything that has alerted you to adhd in the frst place, and any school reports and the like, and maybe just jot down some of the things that give you problems day to day, y'know like silly late books then that'd be a good place to start" from boo and finally from me"I know its a pain but Proff Hollis does not take GP referals so you need a general Pych to do that. so don't get downhearted if you have been refered to general psych he could be your path to one of the best" remember this is probably only the next step before you reach your goal. so good luck you can do it I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well xxx
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Post by laura on Nov 10, 2009 9:28:22 GMT
thankyou everyone i didnt think of looking at my previous post ;D i feel alot better today, ive just never saw a psychiatrist before and dont know what to expect so i was having a panicky moment
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 10, 2009 10:17:20 GMT
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Post by laura on Nov 10, 2009 17:31:06 GMT
thanx andy, good article i got my refferal the psychiatrist admitted she didnt really know about ad/hd and said she was very happy to refer me if i wanted to try that. she said she didnt know if it would be ad/hd tho because of my perfectionism even as a child she said it seemed like i had a perfectionism part of my personality that had high expectations and goals. and a cluttered, artistic, rebbelios side and they didnt match up so i was having problems she said as far as she was aware perfectionism and ad/hd dont go together and because ive had no hyperactivity in childhood, (i never really had alot of energy as a child) she also seemed focused on making my behaviours ritulistic even when it came to running upstairs not walking (and falling up them often) she was like, 'so you have to run up them, what would happen if you didnt' and i said uncertain of what she was aking 'id walk up them?' she meant would i feel anxious, but i wouldnt i just like to get places quickly sorry getting off the point, she thinks it could be a personality disorder as i can only trace the majority of my symptoms back to 12/13 years old but i got a refferal ;D and my file is kept open with them so i can go back to them without having to go back to the gp first dont know where to yet but i finnaly feel like im getting somewhere, ;D and thanks again everyone, all the advice and support and just reading others stories has been great, such a help and i finally feel like ive found somewhere i can fit right in ;D
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2009 17:46:19 GMT
Perfectionism? Im pefect in fact I was a perfect prefect in school. Issue of perfect I have issues with in a way ADHD has made me very ambitious and others in family and when it doesnt pan out can be a real head bender.
Also I never got scruternised like you have I just saw Dr Mason after GP and talked over my habits problems childhood questionares yes I think you have ADHD. Was a relief, were they are stringing you a long, for a long time, which cant be helping you, and I would tell them so, and ask how to make a complaint, or maybe find out yourself and if carry on getting run around be ready to be assertive and stick up for yourself and then ask them knowing the answer.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2009 18:47:39 GMT
Thats such a relief Laura, don't worry too much about what as said today, there are many quirks to adhd, perfectionism i'm sure could be one of them...Which clinic will you go to? x
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2009 19:43:15 GMT
HI Laura I to am with the others congrats on beinging referred to adhd specialist . I know its cliche, but your life seemss to reflect mine, i wasnt particularly rebelious at school band was definately a perfectionist, I also have dyslexia and slow proceesing though im good at mental arimatic, but I did rush things and was always on go, my school reports were always A for effort, but C for atitainment.
After seeing psychi several times he said I had adhd traits and severe anxiety and low self esteem wghich comes from unrealistic expectations and perfectionisim.
But I think its given me drive and I never never give up, and Im very entusiastic, even though Ive had aterrible year and ive had a few of those, im still positive..
This will bethe start of somthing for you Laura and the pieces of the jigsaw will piece together good luck.
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Post by boo on Nov 14, 2009 13:18:03 GMT
she said she didnt know if it would be ad/hd tho because of my perfectionism even as a child she said it seemed like i had a perfectionism part of my personality that had high expectations and goals. and a cluttered, artistic, rebbelios side and they didnt match up so i was having problems she said as far as she was aware perfectionism and ad/hd dont go together ummmm, not sure i agree entirely on that one, maybe not ending up with something perfect because of rushing through or getting bored or just plain giving up is true in cases, but i think lots of people on here have talked about having perfectionist traits and becoming VERY frustrated when things dont end up like they were first envisaged, or at the other end of the scale, having an unbearable compulsion to keep correcting and correcting because its not perfect where others would just finish and be happy enough. I dont know how many times i have done all of the above, at times messing around with something so much to try and get it perfect that i completely ruin what would have been perfectly acceptable to begin with. having perfectionist traits and a cluttered mind surely is where much frustration stems from, tis for me anyway and although i was quite a chaotic child, most of my real problems did not really manifest until i was in senior school, yes there was lots of 'comments' in my earlier school reports and they did get noted through the assessment, but from a personal reflective viewpoint, my teen years were when it really started going horribly wronggood luck laura, i am glad you got the referral oh and also, what she said about 'feeling the dx fit for about 2 months although now thinks it has been forever' i wonder if she just worded that badly and was trying to explain that you had been feeling like it fitted for 2 months cos thats when you 'found out about it' but that looking into it, you feel like it fitted forever cos you are able to reflect back and see the pattern. sorry, i think i have worded that badly myself too, i hope you get what i am trying to say there. anyway, good luck, oh i said that already oh well, doubly good luck then ;D
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Post by boo on Nov 14, 2009 13:21:36 GMT
haha, i just realised where the smiley went that thought i inserted into my post but then didnt....... its on my header..... how'd'it get there
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Post by forgetnotme on Nov 15, 2009 0:56:00 GMT
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 15, 2009 0:56:10 GMT
So at age 5. what stresses/requirements are there to force ADHD to become more of a problem? errrrrr. nothing really.
Age 6-7,9 10, 11. Then bang secondary school, oh, you need a rucksack, you need to follow timetables, you need to find friends, you need to do coursework (at home omg) you need to listen to teachers lest they detentionify your sorry ADHD ass. You need to revise, you need to get home yourself and get to work. GEt your schoolbooks ready, have the correct tools for the job.
Then what happens after school years......college, university. (not that I even got to college) cars!!!!! argh, budgeting, working part time.
So, I surmise that anyone who thinks that ADHD goes away with adulthood is well you know.....
I suppose though, that the idea of testing for ADHD at a young age, should be easier, as there are far less distractions. Oh, I can't be bothered to type anymore because I don't think I got my point across
:/
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Post by boo on Nov 15, 2009 10:39:23 GMT
OMG andy just listing all those things reminds me that i want to pause the world while i catch up with it!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2009 12:58:32 GMT
Skim reading so I may have missed a lot...
Well done on the referral! I've got to say I'm taking a lot of reassurance from the fact so many of you guys are having to fight as hard as I am to get DXed and meeting the same kind of opinionated eejits who know so little but feel obliged to stick to keep their authoratative tone when talking about ADHD. Every appointment is a fight for me, and I get real anxious before them.
BTW Boo, what is the "nimium" in Cogito nimium ergo sum? See, I have to know these things. Must be my asperger's side.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2009 13:01:21 GMT
"Perfectionism and ADHD can't coincide"! (I paraphrase) I really want to save up all these nuggets of nonsense from supposedly qualified people and collect them.
Like those stats that 65% of Americans (or whatever) believe that Saddam had nuclear weapons, these kind of quotes make me angry, and then they almost make me laugh. Sometimes you just have to laugh...
But good luck with next appointment!
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 15, 2009 14:07:13 GMT
"Perfectionism and ADHD can't coincide"
Lol, I think I may have both. I love the details, but I just fail to finish.
I have posted an article which states that perfectionism predicts depression etc.
So, If a person has both, that must surely lead to a "beaten before I even started" philosophy.
I am a classic "in 2 minds case"
Maybe it is just perfectionism but I am too drained to deal with it?
Time will show the solutions, I hope.
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Post by boo on Nov 15, 2009 17:50:35 GMT
'beaten before i even started' hmmmm that sounds familiar gav..... 'too much'
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Post by andy12345 on Nov 15, 2009 19:27:00 GMT
:/
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Post by laura on Nov 17, 2009 11:03:40 GMT
thankyou everyone i was really disheartened after that appointment, but im back on track now ;D even when she said what she said about perfectionism i knew she was wrong because ive done my research and spoke about it on here before. but because it came from a psych i doubted myself, nevermind my reffral is to chris hollis at the queens medical centre nottingham, not sure when she said she had no idea how long his waiting list is but itd probably be a while, she siad shed send the refferal within 2 weeks so ill ring next week to check she has another wait now, its like my life is on hold at the moment im trying to get on as normal but im more frustrated because i could be getting help, i need more support at uni but because i havnt a dx there is not much available, i feel like quitting already and waiting until im in a better state of mind and applying to do an art course instead, but then its one more thing i cant stick with. thanx boo, yeah it probably was just worded wrong, i dont word things right either and was just be picky andy that list about secondary school bought back some memories, its definately when things got bad, but looking at that list how does anyone do it good luck everyone else with your journeys to dx, i also finding it a comfort to read everyone elses story
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Post by forgetnotme on Nov 17, 2009 21:19:37 GMT
congratulations laura you're nearly there. home straight coming up. now you've made me doubly jealous though at the moment I can't remember what the other reason was ;D ;D ;D
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