Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2010 23:43:52 GMT
During a pretty low point the other day I was trying to explain to a friend just what its like to know what is wrong, to know what you need to do to fix it, but just not actually being able to do what is required to a satisfactory standard as I can't really pay attention to any thing long enough.
"You just have to focus" she said.
"I know, but I can't. Thats kind of the problem" I said.
"You need to find coping mechanisms" she said.
"I know, but everytime I find one I get bored of it or forget about it"
"Everyone forgets things and gets bored" she said.
Yes, but not everyone gets distracted and bored on the first day of there
dream job, not everyone gets distracted and bored maintaining their own
personal hygiene, not everyone gets bored talking to the one they are supposed
to love, (the same person that made them feel sick with boredom well short of
infamous "honeymoon period" coming to an end, not everyone gets distracted
and bored at 2 minute intervals doing pretty much anything and.. hold on I need
a piss, I'll finish this, I will, wait there...
See, I just forgot to wash my hands, and turn the bathroom light off.
Not everyone sits down with a new magazine or a newspaper and after
spending 30 minutes staring at the pages can remember the square root
of fuck all because they were never taking anything in anyway, they were
having some strange flashback to staring out the window at High school and
watching the Janitor cut the grass on a big lawnmower rather than listen to the
teacher, who gave them a rubbish report, again, for not paying attention, for
not putting in enough effort, for being a troublemaker.." I said.
"I can't understand what it must feel like for you" she said.
"It feels like having one arm tied behind your back, and the whole
world just thinks you are scratching your arse" I said.
"You just have to focus" she said.
"I know, but I can't. Thats kind of the problem" I said.
"You need to find coping mechanisms" she said.
"I know, but everytime I find one I get bored of it or forget about it"
"Everyone forgets things and gets bored" she said.
Yes, but not everyone gets distracted and bored on the first day of there
dream job, not everyone gets distracted and bored maintaining their own
personal hygiene, not everyone gets bored talking to the one they are supposed
to love, (the same person that made them feel sick with boredom well short of
infamous "honeymoon period" coming to an end, not everyone gets distracted
and bored at 2 minute intervals doing pretty much anything and.. hold on I need
a piss, I'll finish this, I will, wait there...
See, I just forgot to wash my hands, and turn the bathroom light off.
Not everyone sits down with a new magazine or a newspaper and after
spending 30 minutes staring at the pages can remember the square root
of fuck all because they were never taking anything in anyway, they were
having some strange flashback to staring out the window at High school and
watching the Janitor cut the grass on a big lawnmower rather than listen to the
teacher, who gave them a rubbish report, again, for not paying attention, for
not putting in enough effort, for being a troublemaker.." I said.
"I can't understand what it must feel like for you" she said.
"It feels like having one arm tied behind your back, and the whole
world just thinks you are scratching your arse" I said.